Family member has recently been charged
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The family member has finally been sent to a prison where he will serve his sentence and it's a specific place for these types of offences yes he will get help and support but we on the outside are struggling still yet to tell wider family and responsibility of bills etc as his OH has started to pack his things and prepare for divorce and new life .Also her finances have taken a hit and can no longer send him money so I suppose we will have to send him money.
I am so sorry to hear the outcome of your family members case. When we thought my person was going to receive a prison sentance we looked into the amount of money we could send in until he managed to get himself a job in there but I have now forgotten what it was. Hopefully someone with more experience will be able to help you with this.
Have you heard from your person yet and is he doing OK? Do you have someone supporting you as this can be a very lonely journey to navigate through? I'm sure you have so many questions and anxieties at the moment and I know it's easier said than done but do try to take one day and one step at a time and do look after yourself.
Have you heard from your person yet and is he doing OK? Do you have someone supporting you as this can be a very lonely journey to navigate through? I'm sure you have so many questions and anxieties at the moment and I know it's easier said than done but do try to take one day and one step at a time and do look after yourself.
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Morning jkd - sorry to hear of the prison sentence for your FM. I too am glad my son is in a training prison for sex offenders, I'd be terrified of thoughts him serving in an ordinary prison - even if in a separate wing.
Prisoners each have an account where wages + money transferred from the outside is kept, then they have an amount per week they are allowed to spend / this depends on their status.
As soon as as employment or education is set up he will receive a 'small' income. I'm not sure on the limit you can pay into their account but I once paid in £200 (when he bought a bigger item) without a problem.
I don't transfer a set amount, but I make sure he doesn't go without - especially when it comes to his phone credit. I'll transfer more for his birthday or Christmas.
ive heard it can be tough if they receive no financial support from the outside. But I should imagine it's a common factor when people are under financial strain on the outside - plus a lot of these men have been abandoned by family and friends.
im sure even a small transfer would be welcome.
Prisoners each have an account where wages + money transferred from the outside is kept, then they have an amount per week they are allowed to spend / this depends on their status.
As soon as as employment or education is set up he will receive a 'small' income. I'm not sure on the limit you can pay into their account but I once paid in £200 (when he bought a bigger item) without a problem.
I don't transfer a set amount, but I make sure he doesn't go without - especially when it comes to his phone credit. I'll transfer more for his birthday or Christmas.
ive heard it can be tough if they receive no financial support from the outside. But I should imagine it's a common factor when people are under financial strain on the outside - plus a lot of these men have been abandoned by family and friends.
im sure even a small transfer would be welcome.
I understand alot of men will be abandoned yes we are all angry, disappointed and disgusted at his crime but the human in us doesn't want him to feel abandoned otherwise he will give up hope even when he finishes his sentence it will still be a sentence for us all not sure what the future holds.
Even without this mess none of us can tell what our future holds....... we really must (try) to live each day as it comes......
Smile, that's so true. We forget that our old hopes and dreams of the future were just that..hopes and dreams. Anything could have happened to change our world from the one we dreamt about to the one we find ourselves in. Learning to live one day at a time has been a huge learning curve for me and one I am still trying to navigate.
Another thing that has been a massive learning curve in my life is to categorise worries and niggles. For example not to stress if I'm stuck in traffic, an item is late in the post, it snows, people's annoying comments etc.
i shrug my shoulders and think "does it REALLY matter, is it worth kicking up a fuss?' Is it worth littering my brain?
of course you cannot eliminate stress in life (goodness don't we ALL know that, 'if only') but I just try to minimise it as much as I can. Someone said to me this weekend, how have you coped your way through this without medication - and this stress control is just one avenue that has helped me.
i shrug my shoulders and think "does it REALLY matter, is it worth kicking up a fuss?' Is it worth littering my brain?
of course you cannot eliminate stress in life (goodness don't we ALL know that, 'if only') but I just try to minimise it as much as I can. Someone said to me this weekend, how have you coped your way through this without medication - and this stress control is just one avenue that has helped me.