Dodgy link
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Ok. Apparently, this is all because of a dodgy link inadvertently pressed. Does that seem likely?
Hey Partner,
I highly doubt that an arrest was due to one click on a dodgy link. I have however read that it was the case in Jaded's partners case, if I remember rightly.
Generally the police have either been monitoring or in conversation cases they get arrested due to the other party being arrested.
Ttkit
I highly doubt that an arrest was due to one click on a dodgy link. I have however read that it was the case in Jaded's partners case, if I remember rightly.
Generally the police have either been monitoring or in conversation cases they get arrested due to the other party being arrested.
Ttkit
Ttkit that makes sense. So he's trying to cover his arse or is probably in denial. Not good for any future trail. Particularly when it will all become public anyway in time. He's bloody stupid if he's lying. Or completely narcissistic.
I guess the truth will come out eventually.
P x
I guess the truth will come out eventually.
P x
Partner,
He could be telling the truth, in denial or covering his arse but you'll only know when hes truly ready.
I know my other half told me the detail and I was expecting more and more to come out but when the police confirmed nothing else had been found on his devices except what he was arrested for I knew my faith in him had been well placed. As up until that day I bounced between hes lying, theres more to this and hes told me the truth about 100 times a day!
I know its early days for you but you've got to take one stance and run with it until proven wrong or dright as this whole situation will become more consuming than it needs to be. We are now 8 months post knock with nothing from police for 4 months now. I check in here daily but other than that I genuinely dont let it get into my day, lifes far to hectic and short to worry about what I cannot control or what I dont know is my approach, so I'm going to keep my break downs and panic mode until charges/court for now :) it has taken 8 months to get to.this place mentally.
Keep your chin up :)
Ttkit
He could be telling the truth, in denial or covering his arse but you'll only know when hes truly ready.
I know my other half told me the detail and I was expecting more and more to come out but when the police confirmed nothing else had been found on his devices except what he was arrested for I knew my faith in him had been well placed. As up until that day I bounced between hes lying, theres more to this and hes told me the truth about 100 times a day!
I know its early days for you but you've got to take one stance and run with it until proven wrong or dright as this whole situation will become more consuming than it needs to be. We are now 8 months post knock with nothing from police for 4 months now. I check in here daily but other than that I genuinely dont let it get into my day, lifes far to hectic and short to worry about what I cannot control or what I dont know is my approach, so I'm going to keep my break downs and panic mode until charges/court for now :) it has taken 8 months to get to.this place mentally.
Keep your chin up :)
Ttkit
Trying to keep it together
That's exactly what I am doing. This could be a very long process and I want to live my life inbetween and not say I was completely consumed for that period. I just keep blocking the worry until the police are back in contact.
I can only hope my husband has told me all. I think he has but it will all come out in court so I will just go with it and see what happens.
Sending a hug to all you lovely ladies who support each other. Xx
That's exactly what I am doing. This could be a very long process and I want to live my life inbetween and not say I was completely consumed for that period. I just keep blocking the worry until the police are back in contact.
I can only hope my husband has told me all. I think he has but it will all come out in court so I will just go with it and see what happens.
Sending a hug to all you lovely ladies who support each other. Xx
Hi partner
My husband said he was on a chat site and a person sent him various links. He clicked on them. Some were normal images but some weren't. However he then visited the site 5 more times and clicked on links from same person.
My husband said he was on a chat site and a person sent him various links. He clicked on them. Some were normal images but some weren't. However he then visited the site 5 more times and clicked on links from same person.
Dottie
I admire your ability to carry on with life and block the issues out. I manage it sometimes.
I wish I could do it more often, but I have days when it is all I can think about! We were meant to be on our holiday of a lifetime now, pre retirement and spending more time together!
The reality is that I find it hard to be in the same room as him now! The time all these cases take is cruel for everyone. As far as I am aware, and my husband is virtually silent on the matter, we have heard nothing since the knock over 5 months ago. His family keep asking me to call the police for information but I don't have the officer's number and I guess for confidentiality I wouldn't be told anything anyway!
I admire your ability to carry on with life and block the issues out. I manage it sometimes.
I wish I could do it more often, but I have days when it is all I can think about! We were meant to be on our holiday of a lifetime now, pre retirement and spending more time together!
The reality is that I find it hard to be in the same room as him now! The time all these cases take is cruel for everyone. As far as I am aware, and my husband is virtually silent on the matter, we have heard nothing since the knock over 5 months ago. His family keep asking me to call the police for information but I don't have the officer's number and I guess for confidentiality I wouldn't be told anything anyway!
Hi Izzy,
I'm actually amazing myself. I have in the past suffered from bad anxiety but a couple of years ago I learnt a few techniques that have been invaluable. It's quite complex but the very simplist of terms is to say, is anything happening today, this hour and this minute. If not then you put it to the back burner. Whenever a bought of anxiety or fear reappears you do the same. Eventually with practice it starts to make you feel you have more control.
I am nearly 51 and thought my life was settled and we had plans. I have gone through the grief process I was numb to start, been through the angry stage and revisit that emotion quite a lot, but I have decided it is all upto him to prove I can trust him again and to have therapy and work his way through this mess. If he can't, then I am now in a place where I will walk. Lonely or not, nobody needs this mess in their life. All the while he works hard I support because I do love him.
Be strong nobody knows what tomorrow will bring for any of us. I know that when he is charged and it goes to court I will once again be really battling my anxiety but until then I am determined to live for me.
Sending a big hug and I hope you can get on top of some of the anxiety. Xx
I'm actually amazing myself. I have in the past suffered from bad anxiety but a couple of years ago I learnt a few techniques that have been invaluable. It's quite complex but the very simplist of terms is to say, is anything happening today, this hour and this minute. If not then you put it to the back burner. Whenever a bought of anxiety or fear reappears you do the same. Eventually with practice it starts to make you feel you have more control.
I am nearly 51 and thought my life was settled and we had plans. I have gone through the grief process I was numb to start, been through the angry stage and revisit that emotion quite a lot, but I have decided it is all upto him to prove I can trust him again and to have therapy and work his way through this mess. If he can't, then I am now in a place where I will walk. Lonely or not, nobody needs this mess in their life. All the while he works hard I support because I do love him.
Be strong nobody knows what tomorrow will bring for any of us. I know that when he is charged and it goes to court I will once again be really battling my anxiety but until then I am determined to live for me.
Sending a big hug and I hope you can get on top of some of the anxiety. Xx
Dottie
Thanks so much for the advice. I will give it a go.
Thanks so much for the advice. I will give it a go.
Thanks ladies. Things don't add up to the few things I've been told by the police and children's services. So my stance is still no contact. I'm fortunate in that the police investigator and the social worker are amazing and at the end of the phone anytime I need.
I think you ladies who stay are amazing. I also know I'm fortunate in that he's not my hub, or father of my kids, or financially linked to me.
Children's services said she had no concerns at all which is one hurdle over.
Getting used to the end of what I thought I had, plus what I believed was my future is the only way forward from here.
Onwards and upwards.
Love to all.
I think you ladies who stay are amazing. I also know I'm fortunate in that he's not my hub, or father of my kids, or financially linked to me.
Children's services said she had no concerns at all which is one hurdle over.
Getting used to the end of what I thought I had, plus what I believed was my future is the only way forward from here.
Onwards and upwards.
Love to all.
I was told online things were done once and it was due to drink, depression and a whole list of other reasons. I wanted to believe that.
I made a disclosure request and had that discussion last week, where I was informed it was multiple times and the whole, I'm telling the truth and excuses, just don't add up.
If he can continue to lie, when he's been found out and in trouble with the police, then nothing will ever change.
Most days it's all I can't think about, but I live in hope I'll get through it and am just trying for some normality for my children.
I made a disclosure request and had that discussion last week, where I was informed it was multiple times and the whole, I'm telling the truth and excuses, just don't add up.
If he can continue to lie, when he's been found out and in trouble with the police, then nothing will ever change.
Most days it's all I can't think about, but I live in hope I'll get through it and am just trying for some normality for my children.