Family divided in reaction
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We are a close extended family. One of my inlaws is going to court next week. He is on the autistic spectrum. Family found out about the crime 2 weeks ago.
His family (mum, siblings) were very upset and stressed for a week or so but have no said he needs support and it is what it is and let's all try and move on and put it behind us. They aren't condoning what he has done but feel there's no point being angry and upset because it won't change anything. We know the person doesn't think the same as the rest of us and this has clearly contributed to why he did what he did.
The inlaws (me and some others) remain heartbroken, angry, shocked, disappointed, sad, stressed..wondering what our future as a family now hold.
It's awful that we feel we are so divided.
Its coming between my husband and I. I cant stop crying and feel sick. Husband said he's come to terms with it now and is OK. Im thinking how can they all possibly just be 'ok' ?
On a personal level I'm also really worried I've lost my libido. The offender has put a picture in my head of an older man and a young girl and its disgusting me. I'm so angry that what he has done has now impacted on my sex life and relationship with my husband.
Can anyone relate? I cant talk to anyone about this.
Do you think it will get better? It's still OK to be this upset and shocked after only 2wks isn't it?
Now I'm wondering if I'm overreacting and I'm the problem ?
His family (mum, siblings) were very upset and stressed for a week or so but have no said he needs support and it is what it is and let's all try and move on and put it behind us. They aren't condoning what he has done but feel there's no point being angry and upset because it won't change anything. We know the person doesn't think the same as the rest of us and this has clearly contributed to why he did what he did.
The inlaws (me and some others) remain heartbroken, angry, shocked, disappointed, sad, stressed..wondering what our future as a family now hold.
It's awful that we feel we are so divided.
Its coming between my husband and I. I cant stop crying and feel sick. Husband said he's come to terms with it now and is OK. Im thinking how can they all possibly just be 'ok' ?
On a personal level I'm also really worried I've lost my libido. The offender has put a picture in my head of an older man and a young girl and its disgusting me. I'm so angry that what he has done has now impacted on my sex life and relationship with my husband.
Can anyone relate? I cant talk to anyone about this.
Do you think it will get better? It's still OK to be this upset and shocked after only 2wks isn't it?
Now I'm wondering if I'm overreacting and I'm the problem ?
The early weeks are awful, how you're reacting is very normal.
it may help you to know that this behaviour is very common among autistic people; there are solicitors which specialise in representing them such is the extent of this.
Around 800 people are arrested each month. Most of which are online offenders only, and the recidivism rates are really low.
there are a number of reasons why these offences occur - there are articles and links on the understanding why.
As you say, nothing excuses this. It is a horrible thing to have done. However, understanding the context has helped me support my person.
there is a post on the "understanding why" which takes you through surviving the early days.
Look after yourself and sorry you've joined this club xxx
it may help you to know that this behaviour is very common among autistic people; there are solicitors which specialise in representing them such is the extent of this.
Around 800 people are arrested each month. Most of which are online offenders only, and the recidivism rates are really low.
there are a number of reasons why these offences occur - there are articles and links on the understanding why.
As you say, nothing excuses this. It is a horrible thing to have done. However, understanding the context has helped me support my person.
there is a post on the "understanding why" which takes you through surviving the early days.
Look after yourself and sorry you've joined this club xxx
Hi Lady Jane,
im so sorry you are going through this. You would be surprised at the amount of people on the autism spectrum are arrested for this offence. They're the least likely people to break the law as they follow rules, unless it's an online office as they look for connection and acceptance. They then think it's ok, as everyone else in the world they have found themself in is doing the same. I have researched this to no end.
the book Autisum, sexuality and the law is a really good read as well.
please if you need any assistance, feel free to inbox me.
im so sorry you are going through this. You would be surprised at the amount of people on the autism spectrum are arrested for this offence. They're the least likely people to break the law as they follow rules, unless it's an online office as they look for connection and acceptance. They then think it's ok, as everyone else in the world they have found themself in is doing the same. I have researched this to no end.
the book Autisum, sexuality and the law is a really good read as well.
please if you need any assistance, feel free to inbox me.