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Risk of escalation

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Unknown50

Member since
August 2023

6 posts

Posted Sat December 9, 2023 10:22amReport post

I hope it's ok to ask for any thoughts on this.

My partner likes watching child TV programmes and asks for 'the kind of things you buy your 5 year old nephew' for gifts. I really worry about this psychology.

When I called Stop it Now with this concern they downplayed it saying his arrest for iioc was just an p*rn addiction which had gone too far.

Thinking lately I would torment myself for a lifetime about the risk he poses.

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

373 posts

Posted Sat December 9, 2023 10:50amReport post

I would say that the greatest risk is to himself, because if the police are monitoring him and they see these gifts, they will become even more suspicious.

It's the kind of thing that he really needs to discuss with a therapist from StopSO. Has he done the Informplus course with LFF at all, or any of their online modules?

Unknown50

Member since
August 2023

6 posts

Posted Sat December 9, 2023 10:58amReport post

Thanks for the response Edel. I think they made him do that course. He doesn't like to speak about such things with me. He was having private counselling but gave that up. I have forced him to do some more.

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

447 posts

Posted Sat December 9, 2023 11:06amReport post

I agree with everything Edel has said. There is so much going on here (and not necessarily connected to sexual crimes) and it needs a good therapist to explore things safely with him. We don't know his history, childhood etc and I'd hate anyone to hazard a guess here (although I'm not saying anyone would) and we could either overplay or underplay things.

You are obviously very conflicted about everything, and understandably so. Could you find a therapist together as your OH might be able to share things with you in a safe space with a therapist mediating......

xxx

Edited Sat December 9, 2023 11:10am

Unknown50

Member since
August 2023

6 posts

Posted Sat December 9, 2023 11:25amReport post

I should also add: I think he has Paranoid Personality Disorder. He won't open up about anything at all. I'm not sure counselling will ever work for him as he will be reluctant to trust any therapist. Thanks for your response though - appreciate it :)