I feel conflicted
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Hi
I live in another city than my dad, but I return every weekend. Whilst I look forward to being home with my family, i always feel super anxious about seeing him and most of the times, I don't really want to see him. But when I'm there all is well.
And when I leave, it just all comes back. It is like a trigger each weekend. So now I'm trying to avoid it a bit more, but my dad notices. And I know he did wrong and I still love him, but I feel like it has traumatized me to an extent that I need counseling everytime I see him.
I hate that I feel this way and I feel like maybe the solution is to take a bit of distance? I'm so conflicted, since not a lot of people know and it will definitly raise questions of why I don't see the dad that I was close with anymore.
What a cruel turn of events and I hate it. I'm being punished for something that I had nothing to do with.
I live in another city than my dad, but I return every weekend. Whilst I look forward to being home with my family, i always feel super anxious about seeing him and most of the times, I don't really want to see him. But when I'm there all is well.
And when I leave, it just all comes back. It is like a trigger each weekend. So now I'm trying to avoid it a bit more, but my dad notices. And I know he did wrong and I still love him, but I feel like it has traumatized me to an extent that I need counseling everytime I see him.
I hate that I feel this way and I feel like maybe the solution is to take a bit of distance? I'm so conflicted, since not a lot of people know and it will definitly raise questions of why I don't see the dad that I was close with anymore.
What a cruel turn of events and I hate it. I'm being punished for something that I had nothing to do with.
Bless you - how I understand your turmoil - it's so hard to deal with isn't it? You love your dad but hate what he's done and it's so hard to find a balance back into a relationship once it's been tainted.
Not a heap to offer except a hug and understanding. It's a horrible place to be.......
Not a heap to offer except a hug and understanding. It's a horrible place to be.......
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That's what upsets me at this time of year - the happy memories we had with our children, the Christmas preparations, the house trimmed up, the excitement. Being united and together - all now gone and swept under a carpet of shame and not to be mentioned.
But as we do - we HAVE and are FORCED to move on as Upset once said - pull up those big girl knickers. Which I think of everytime that reflection gets to me. It's so s..t at times isn't it?
But as we do - we HAVE and are FORCED to move on as Upset once said - pull up those big girl knickers. Which I think of everytime that reflection gets to me. It's so s..t at times isn't it?