Christmas Wobbles
Notifications OFF
Is anyone else feeling wobbly as we approach Christmas?
I received the knock in Feb 23 and left my husband. This is the first Christmas with me as a single Mum (one child in Yr R and one in preschool). The children don't understand and have supervised visits with their Dad. I supervise the visits.
I'm feeling extremely wobbly, for want of a better word. I'm on my own, and have been solely responsible for 2 small children for 10 months with no end in sight. I keep thinking about last Christmas when we were a happy little family. (Of course, I now realise that it was all lies).
I haven't told anyone the real reason I'm getting divorced. I think it's one of those things that unless you've been through it, you don't really get it.
Not sure why I'm posting really, just in search of a bit of solidarity from people who get it, I guess .
I received the knock in Feb 23 and left my husband. This is the first Christmas with me as a single Mum (one child in Yr R and one in preschool). The children don't understand and have supervised visits with their Dad. I supervise the visits.
I'm feeling extremely wobbly, for want of a better word. I'm on my own, and have been solely responsible for 2 small children for 10 months with no end in sight. I keep thinking about last Christmas when we were a happy little family. (Of course, I now realise that it was all lies).
I haven't told anyone the real reason I'm getting divorced. I think it's one of those things that unless you've been through it, you don't really get it.
Not sure why I'm posting really, just in search of a bit of solidarity from people who get it, I guess .
Last year was my first post-knock Christmas and I was very wobbly indeed. As you've said; you're managing an awful lot - two small children are a lot to cope with on your own, let alone under these circumstances.
I have nothing to offer you but a virtual hug and some solidarity.
The good news is that while this Christmas I am not 100%, it does get easier
xx
I have nothing to offer you but a virtual hug and some solidarity.
The good news is that while this Christmas I am not 100%, it does get easier
xx
Yes I know what you mean. Our first Christmas after arrest in September. I feel very torn. I thought I was ok but the closer we get the worse I feel and can't wait for it to pass. I've loved the buying of gifts etc but the logistics of it all is tricky.
I hope you can take joy in the day especially with your little ones x
I hope you can take joy in the day especially with your little ones x
I think Christmas gives us all a little wobble. A few days or years into this journey.
at one time I was terrified of secrets accidentally coming out but now I tend to sit back watch my family as they happily interact and just feel sad how things have turned out...
at one time I was terrified of secrets accidentally coming out but now I tend to sit back watch my family as they happily interact and just feel sad how things have turned out...
This will be my 3rd Christmas following the arrest and the 1st one post sentencing. Whilst I still suffer with anxiety I am feeling more at peace this year with our new way of living.
You have been through so much this year with the shock of what your OH did as well as trying to adjust to making a new life for you and your children. What you'll be feeling is natural as you grieve your old lifestyle but you'll gradually learn to adapt and in time it will be easier.
You have been through so much this year with the shock of what your OH did as well as trying to adjust to making a new life for you and your children. What you'll be feeling is natural as you grieve your old lifestyle but you'll gradually learn to adapt and in time it will be easier.
Hi Tigerstripes
I just wanted to say that you're not alone. The knock was in August so this is my first Christmas. I feel very wobbly too. I have a son and trying to make it positive for him but I'm struggling.
I think I'm just going to accept this is a tough time of the year and get through it as best as I can.
Take care
I just wanted to say that you're not alone. The knock was in August so this is my first Christmas. I feel very wobbly too. I have a son and trying to make it positive for him but I'm struggling.
I think I'm just going to accept this is a tough time of the year and get through it as best as I can.
Take care
Post deleted
Thanks for all the replies.
It certainly helps to realise I'm not the only one going through this.
It certainly helps to realise I'm not the only one going through this.
I spent last Christmas in shock. ( I ended my relationship immediately) I didn't put any decorations up, did present shopping on auto pilot, I just felt totally miserable. I couldn't believe how my life had changed and how I used to love Christmas and all the preparations. My house was always where Christmas dinner happened, I was in control of everything and I loved it. Last year was just a blur.
This year back to normal. Family at mine , I'm cooking and only difference is OH is long gone!!! I have told absolutely everyone I know what he's done and the effect it's had on me. Everyone has been so supportive and you need that at this time of year.
next year will be even better when he's been sentenced and hopefully in jail.
This year back to normal. Family at mine , I'm cooking and only difference is OH is long gone!!! I have told absolutely everyone I know what he's done and the effect it's had on me. Everyone has been so supportive and you need that at this time of year.
next year will be even better when he's been sentenced and hopefully in jail.
Definitely feeling wobbly and so sad. Normally Christmas is such a happy time, I love putting up decorations but I cried uncontrollably on Saturday when I was decorating the tree.
My OH was arrested in October and we're still living together albeit in separate rooms. We're each spending Christmas at our respective parents and he's going to stay on at his for the following week to give me some breathing space.
He's very seriously mentally ill. Not only was he viewing and downloading 100s (1000s even, I don't suppose I'll ever know) of iioc but also alcohol and porn addiction and doing things to himself in public places (I don't know how he hid it all from me for 20 years). I hope he gets the help he needs, but the more I learn about his lies and deceit the less I can see a future for us and it makes me so very sad when we had what I thought was a brilliant life together.
My thoughts are with everyone here and hoping we can all find even the smallest amount of joy at this difficult time xx
My OH was arrested in October and we're still living together albeit in separate rooms. We're each spending Christmas at our respective parents and he's going to stay on at his for the following week to give me some breathing space.
He's very seriously mentally ill. Not only was he viewing and downloading 100s (1000s even, I don't suppose I'll ever know) of iioc but also alcohol and porn addiction and doing things to himself in public places (I don't know how he hid it all from me for 20 years). I hope he gets the help he needs, but the more I learn about his lies and deceit the less I can see a future for us and it makes me so very sad when we had what I thought was a brilliant life together.
My thoughts are with everyone here and hoping we can all find even the smallest amount of joy at this difficult time xx
Post deleted by user