Can we see the community order?
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My family member has been sentenced and has a community order. He said probation are going to talk him through it over next few weeks and he doesn't know himself what the terms of the order are yet.
Family member has autism and is always very vague with details and very difficult to get a clear answer from him (even with trivial things)
As a family we feel we need to know what the terms of his order are. Is there any way we can find out.
He has told one family member that 'its private so I don't think he is going to be willing to share.
Family member has autism and is always very vague with details and very difficult to get a clear answer from him (even with trivial things)
As a family we feel we need to know what the terms of his order are. Is there any way we can find out.
He has told one family member that 'its private so I don't think he is going to be willing to share.
Hi, If you can get the email address of the PO you can always ask. He will have 2 POs. One that he meets weekly first off and the other one that sorts the community service out. They don't talk to each other, so be very aware of this, absences need to be reported to the correct person etc. The PO at the court explained this all to me.
My Son is Autistic and they have gone through everything with him, there were a few concerns and I emailed his jigsaw worker and she sorted it for me.
He should have been told in court the terms, such as 18 months probation and 80 hours CO. But to be honest, I'm not sure anyone takes it in when you are there, the solicitor emailed us with everything and I still go back to it all sometimes to make sure.
My Son is Autistic and they have gone through everything with him, there were a few concerns and I emailed his jigsaw worker and she sorted it for me.
He should have been told in court the terms, such as 18 months probation and 80 hours CO. But to be honest, I'm not sure anyone takes it in when you are there, the solicitor emailed us with everything and I still go back to it all sometimes to make sure.
My son did not find out what he would be doing until he attended his induction day which was about a month after sentencing. Once the days, locations etc are in place, your family member should receive written confirmation.
Yes Ocean, absolutely correct, Thank you for correcting me on that bit. That is the one thing I hate about answering and not seeing the question, I can't retain all the questions!! my son didn't find out where or when till induction he still doesn't know as she said she would email it all and then went on holiday, we only found out when we chased and got an automatic response! He has been given the link for courses though as he's been told that 20 odd hours can be done in training (can't remember the actual number)
Also, my son has to be totally in the mood to talk about these things, he shuts me down a lot. He gets overwhelmed by the questions etc. I have to pick my moments.
Also, my son has to be totally in the mood to talk about these things, he shuts me down a lot. He gets overwhelmed by the questions etc. I have to pick my moments.
Just I didn't mean to correct you, sorry if it came across that way. I hadn't actually read your reply before posting my own.
When my oh did his he had 120 hours CO he went to his po meeting and it was all set up from there some people have to wait months for it to be set up as it depends on if there's anything going in the area your in. You have to normally do percentage of online training they use the open university website and for this the rest its community service.my oh got all his done in two ISH months once a week.I hope that helps
oh no Ocean, not at all. :)
Hi LadyJane, I think you put in a different post that your person had community service and rehabilitation days to do - these requirements are terms of the community order. Depending on his risk assessment he may also have a course to do such as horizon/iHorizon. There isn't usually anything else - it's usually unpaid work, therapy/rehab and courses. The course can take ages to organise - sometimes months, even years! The unpaid work can also take a few months to sort out. As someone else said, some of it can be done online. Some of the rehabilitation can also be done online or privately eg attending therapy sessions.
He will also have an SHPO which will have terms around his internet usage for example and potentially on him spending time with under 18s.
He will also be on the SOR which has it's own set of requirements that you can look up online
He will also have an SHPO which will have terms around his internet usage for example and potentially on him spending time with under 18s.
He will also be on the SOR which has it's own set of requirements that you can look up online
Also, he may well have been advised to keep it private to protect himself from potential community backlash about his offending. With his autism, might he be taking this very literally and not want to share even with people who do know about the offences?
So true in the moment, if they get told, keep things to yourself then that means just them!!!
its a myth that autistic people can't feel emotions, usually they feel them intently but can't process/work them out so their could be emence amount of shame and guilt that his trying to process. Hard for a neuro typical, let alone someone who's executive function is lower. (Averaged 30% lower then neuro typicals) They usually have a small circle of friends and their family, so knowing or just feeling that their family are disgusted can shut them down for fear of rejection. (I think that can be anyone charged with this crime though) my son gave me access to his solicitor, that helped as I read what he told him. After every meeting the solicitor would put it in writing and I would get it in email. The lovely thing in this for me was that our solicitor specialised in IIOC and when the CPS report came though he said there was no surprise's, he said he usually reads something that someone has left out, but my son had told him everything. Most Autistic people don't lie (sometimes they have co diagnosis, so they can, but usually it's very factual and truthful)
A few things that helped us. Not saying they help every person with Autism as they are all different.
i was/am the only person that knows everything from him (as well as his solicitor) I then shared information with family. It was better for him to have one point of contact, and I'm the one that's always fights/advocates so I was safe for him at that point. I was the only person that read all the CPS reports (he couldn't even read them, he skimmed them) Is there one person his closer with? Maybe even someone writing him a letter so that he can process it in his own time? as in conversations sometimes they are wrapped in the fear and can't hear the words.
He couldn't cope with face 2 face talks about it. In the early days there was a lot of phone calls about it. I would be driving somewhere and would call him to talk. Now he can talk to me face 2 face, but they can be 12am talks as it's playing on his mind "then" (see boxing below)
Aultistic people can "box" things, so when you want to know things, he may have boxed it in his brain and doesn't want to open it at that moment, this can cause a snappy reaction, meltdown. so sometimes I have to say "there is something we need to talk about in the next few days/today" find me when your ready, but be aware I am working today too. Or I'll call you at "time" so we can talk it through. He needed to know my boundaries and that maybe if he was ready I wouldn't be available. but also that it needed to be talked about.
Have a look at professor Clare Allely, she explains a lot about how autistic people are more likely to commit this crime as they can't read ages. so if someone says they are 22 in there bio but look younger, they don't think umm, I think they are lying. They believe what they read. Also if they look at images of girls made up, they don't see the youngness. Her work is really interesting. I emailed her too, she was really lovely.
The book Autism, sexuality and the law. I read this in 2 days and it really helped me. I thought I knew enough about autism as I have advocated for him for years and done lots of professional courses. But this brought it all together for this area and Nick Durbin is so brave to share his story.
sorry for the long post but I'm so passionate about this now and learnt so much in the last year, if I can help anyone else I will....
its a myth that autistic people can't feel emotions, usually they feel them intently but can't process/work them out so their could be emence amount of shame and guilt that his trying to process. Hard for a neuro typical, let alone someone who's executive function is lower. (Averaged 30% lower then neuro typicals) They usually have a small circle of friends and their family, so knowing or just feeling that their family are disgusted can shut them down for fear of rejection. (I think that can be anyone charged with this crime though) my son gave me access to his solicitor, that helped as I read what he told him. After every meeting the solicitor would put it in writing and I would get it in email. The lovely thing in this for me was that our solicitor specialised in IIOC and when the CPS report came though he said there was no surprise's, he said he usually reads something that someone has left out, but my son had told him everything. Most Autistic people don't lie (sometimes they have co diagnosis, so they can, but usually it's very factual and truthful)
A few things that helped us. Not saying they help every person with Autism as they are all different.
i was/am the only person that knows everything from him (as well as his solicitor) I then shared information with family. It was better for him to have one point of contact, and I'm the one that's always fights/advocates so I was safe for him at that point. I was the only person that read all the CPS reports (he couldn't even read them, he skimmed them) Is there one person his closer with? Maybe even someone writing him a letter so that he can process it in his own time? as in conversations sometimes they are wrapped in the fear and can't hear the words.
He couldn't cope with face 2 face talks about it. In the early days there was a lot of phone calls about it. I would be driving somewhere and would call him to talk. Now he can talk to me face 2 face, but they can be 12am talks as it's playing on his mind "then" (see boxing below)
Aultistic people can "box" things, so when you want to know things, he may have boxed it in his brain and doesn't want to open it at that moment, this can cause a snappy reaction, meltdown. so sometimes I have to say "there is something we need to talk about in the next few days/today" find me when your ready, but be aware I am working today too. Or I'll call you at "time" so we can talk it through. He needed to know my boundaries and that maybe if he was ready I wouldn't be available. but also that it needed to be talked about.
Have a look at professor Clare Allely, she explains a lot about how autistic people are more likely to commit this crime as they can't read ages. so if someone says they are 22 in there bio but look younger, they don't think umm, I think they are lying. They believe what they read. Also if they look at images of girls made up, they don't see the youngness. Her work is really interesting. I emailed her too, she was really lovely.
The book Autism, sexuality and the law. I read this in 2 days and it really helped me. I thought I knew enough about autism as I have advocated for him for years and done lots of professional courses. But this brought it all together for this area and Nick Durbin is so brave to share his story.
sorry for the long post but I'm so passionate about this now and learnt so much in the last year, if I can help anyone else I will....
Thank you so much for all these fantastic, informative and open posts. This forum is a godsend.
It's reasurring to know that community payback and therapy takes months to organise so ill stop thinking he is lying about that.
What we really want to know is does he have any restrictions about mixing with children, being around children. That's the bit we feel as a family we need to know. I don't know how to find that bit out.
It's reasurring to know that community payback and therapy takes months to organise so ill stop thinking he is lying about that.
What we really want to know is does he have any restrictions about mixing with children, being around children. That's the bit we feel as a family we need to know. I don't know how to find that bit out.
Hi, this will be on his SHPO rather than the community order. Does he have anyone who is going to appointments with him? He can agree to his SHPO being shared with a member of the family. He may also receive a digital copy of this, my person sent me his because he wanted reassurance that he had another copy xxx
Also, the SOR is a standard that if you are spending more the 12 hours with an under 18 then you have to inform his jigsaw worker at least 3 days before.
I'm glad you are feeling more informed. As others have already said restrictions to being with under 18's will be in the SHPO. As the offence was communication I would think that it is likely the restriction would be no unsupervised contact with anyone under the age of 18 years. That is the restriction my son has. It means that between the family and close friends we make sure there is always someone to supervise when children are around.