Family and Friends Forum

Merry Xmas eve. Although not very merry for a lot of us. So after the knock I was devastated and clueless to what I wanted to do stay or go. I'm still clueless btw. But at first I was in shock and I think maybe in denial. It was easier to be around him and cling onto the fact that I loved him. But now it's been a couple of weeks I am becoming more and more distant. I don't want to say at this stage that it's over but I also don't want him to be cosied up to me like we are ok. I am really struggling. I am trying to keep it as normal as possible for the kids sake. But everytime I look at him when he is with the kids I feel weird and when I think about what he told about what happened, all I keep thinking is how can I possibly trust what he is saying. I keep thinking anyone would want to minimise it has much as possible not just be completely open about it. Then I think loving him or not I deserve better than lies, betrayal and a man that would go to the depths of something like this. I feel angry that in order for me to keep it normal for the kids I have to go out of my way to get my daughter to her dads especially over Christmas when I have my own kids to think about too. I refuse to have them travelling on Xmas day. I just don't know how to be around him right now, I'm now at the point that I don't know how I am going to get past something like this and angry that he could destroy everyone's lives like this but especially his daughter. The fact that he could looo at something like that and then look at his daughter. Then I think was it just the drugs or is that an excuse? Arghhhh my minds in bits

Thank you both of you. When it's your child it is so different that is the person you have raised so I totally get it. But still so sorry as a mum you are having to go through that because regardless of a decision to support someone or not it's one of the worst situations to be in.
Leaving is what I am leaning towards. I don't want to maoe any rash decisions but I'm struggling to look at him as well as struggling to end my marriage. The fact that we had already split and gone through 9 months of heartache to find our way back to each other and then this comes out. He had lied about things nearly the entire relationship. I'm torn was he lying because of his addiction the entire time or all the lies just because that is who he is and he will never be a person I can trust. I do not want to be tarred with the same brush if this does come out either. It's early stages so it's that awful waiting game he doesn't answer his first bail until march

Also anxious girl I am so sorry for your frustrations now too the fact that you have left and still having to tackle things relating to him cannot be easy at all. Are you his wife? Asking to see if you would be entitled to gain any proof of his prison sentence.
I hope you manage to get it sorted hun