Christmas Day check in
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I know I'm not the only one sitting here so early in the morning - deep in reflection. I look round this room there's no sparkling Christmas tree, no cards displayed, tomorrow will be another Christmas Day living in this quiet ghost of a house, where my family don't want to be anymore.
i am thinking of my forum friends particularly those in pain at the beginning of their journey, the ladies who have recently suffered a loss, those (like me) with a loved one in prison, I feel their sadness and loneliness. I feel proud I am here for them and perhaps I can prop them up a little. Just like they prop me up.
BUT we move on - no doubt, like me there's things in place to be together with others, we are here, we have our good health. We WILL grab a little happiness over the next couple of days, in some way, shape or form.
i give you all one big Christmas hug as I think and care for you - and am proud of how we group together and fight on to strive for better days xxxx
i am thinking of my forum friends particularly those in pain at the beginning of their journey, the ladies who have recently suffered a loss, those (like me) with a loved one in prison, I feel their sadness and loneliness. I feel proud I am here for them and perhaps I can prop them up a little. Just like they prop me up.
BUT we move on - no doubt, like me there's things in place to be together with others, we are here, we have our good health. We WILL grab a little happiness over the next couple of days, in some way, shape or form.
i give you all one big Christmas hug as I think and care for you - and am proud of how we group together and fight on to strive for better days xxxx
Also here awake. Thinking xxx
Sending love to you all x
Sending love to you all x
Smile x my dear friend always here for you x
So many of you wonderful people will be in my thoughts today
WeeWitch, Pippin, hugs of strength to you both
Love sent as always xx
So many of you wonderful people will be in my thoughts today
WeeWitch, Pippin, hugs of strength to you both
Love sent as always xx
Thinking of everyone during what may be a very difficult day to get through. Sending love to the wonderful people here. Xxx
Thinking of you all today my person got charged 2 days ago and I'm extremely anxious about seeing family today some know some don't also having to fake I'm ok it's exhausting. I just want today over with. But have to push through for my daughters sake. X
A Christmas wish was granted today. After a year gone by my husband spoke to our son - words cannot express how happy this has made me feel.
I just wanted to wish everyone on here some moments of peace!
Love
Hycinth
Love
Hycinth
Oh smile through tears, I'm so happy for you, that must be the best Christams present you could ask for this year, that's a step in the right direction for your husband to speak to your son today and I hope it continues. We missed the call from my son today, hopefully he'll try again later. That will make my day complete xx
Oh Smile thank you for sharing what must have been such a special moment. I can feel the happiness in your post.
Thinking of all my forum friends today.
Thinking of all my forum friends today.
Just checking in with everyone here and especially sending love to those who finding it difficult xx
Pippin and Wee witch are so much in my thoughts today.
Smile I am so so happy for you that must have made your day.
Upset I'm so pleased you had a good visit with your hungry caterpillar xxx
Pippin and Wee witch are so much in my thoughts today.
Smile I am so so happy for you that must have made your day.
Upset I'm so pleased you had a good visit with your hungry caterpillar xxx
I am thinking of all of you today. I'm well over 4 years into this dreadful journey. I'm as much out of the other end as i can expect to be. A bit battered and worn, but finding happiness in my new life af dealing with the challenges of every day life.I clearly remember though the agony of the first Christmas's on my own, the pain and the loneliness, and I just want to say I am thinking of you all and sending love and strength to you all...you will survive whatever life throws at you. Merry Christmas !xxxx
Its been a very quiet Christmas for us, I miss the Christmas gone by and it does make me sad.
Tomorrow will be spending some time with the grandchildren, while my husband goes to a friend's.
Smile I'm so pleased that your Christmas wish was granted, a very precious gift for you.
Thinking of you all, we are amazing, we got this.
xXx
Tomorrow will be spending some time with the grandchildren, while my husband goes to a friend's.
Smile I'm so pleased that your Christmas wish was granted, a very precious gift for you.
Thinking of you all, we are amazing, we got this.
xXx
Most important thing for me is to see my husband releasing some of that anger, which I feel is such destructive emotion......
I am so happy for you Smile. It is the small things that are so important. Thank you updating the post.
I am glad Upset you had a lovely visit with your son.
I hope everyone had a good day in part if not all of the day. In every shape and form you survived the day and take note how strong you all for this.
Sending hugs to everyone. X
I am glad Upset you had a lovely visit with your son.
I hope everyone had a good day in part if not all of the day. In every shape and form you survived the day and take note how strong you all for this.
Sending hugs to everyone. X
I've thought a lot about weewitch and Pippin today.
I'm glad today is over with. Felt on the verge of tears all day xx
I'm glad today is over with. Felt on the verge of tears all day xx
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Have a good Boxing Day my lovelies xxxxx
So pleased for you, Smile. The first step in the right direction and hoping that whatever has made something in your husband begin to thaw continues into 2024 xx
Had a very quiet day yesterday and managed to stay 'in the moment' mostly, rather than very sad for the past and very anxious about the future.
Worst bit was getting 'this time x years ago' photos on our devices which were inevitably a reminder of Christmas's in happier times (and just a bit bemused by both my husband and son sharing these and seemingly not feeling like me and laughing and joking about how we all looked, chubby babies who are now gangly children etc. I didn't want to pour cold water on the atmosphere so bit my tongue but I wanted to block those memories just for the day, far too painful :( )
Worst bit was getting 'this time x years ago' photos on our devices which were inevitably a reminder of Christmas's in happier times (and just a bit bemused by both my husband and son sharing these and seemingly not feeling like me and laughing and joking about how we all looked, chubby babies who are now gangly children etc. I didn't want to pour cold water on the atmosphere so bit my tongue but I wanted to block those memories just for the day, far too painful :( )
Two years after The Knock. Three months after he moved out and waiting to go to court next month. I'm not a big Christmas person anyway, but did a wee bit of decorating including my favourite Christmas cards I've saved over the years. The hardest bit was getting Christmas cards to the both of us and telling the sender what has happened. Santa brought me a gentle bout of Covid, so I'm in solitary confinement anyway.
I can't help wondering how he's feeling in his little flat on his own. Did he spend time with his Dad, his only support, at Christmas? After the new year I'll start checking the Court Records to see when and if he's in for his hearing.
Try to find joy in the little things if you can. I'm off for a socially isolated walk in the beautiful countryside where I live.
Please be kind and gentle to yourself
I can't help wondering how he's feeling in his little flat on his own. Did he spend time with his Dad, his only support, at Christmas? After the new year I'll start checking the Court Records to see when and if he's in for his hearing.
Try to find joy in the little things if you can. I'm off for a socially isolated walk in the beautiful countryside where I live.
Please be kind and gentle to yourself
Smile, your words reflect everything that I felt for you all with loved ones in prison yesterday. I couldn't shake the feeling of loss, dispair and a deep sadness for you all and them.
I didn't log on yesterday, needed a break. I had a complete meltdown and just about pulled myself together for everyone else. The last year just hit me full pelt in the face and I know we are lucky and it could of been worse, but I feel like I have researched and been in a constant fight for a year for my person.
Also the loss of my Mum this year, that although it's always been my Dad who is practical support (I'm very like him and practical). I realised mum was emotional support a few months ago and I missed her for that and many other reasons yesterday. I actually don't think I've even had time to grieve for her. In fact I know I haven't.
I know it's a hard time for us all so I hope you all managed and I'm sending you huge hugs and love xxx
I didn't log on yesterday, needed a break. I had a complete meltdown and just about pulled myself together for everyone else. The last year just hit me full pelt in the face and I know we are lucky and it could of been worse, but I feel like I have researched and been in a constant fight for a year for my person.
Also the loss of my Mum this year, that although it's always been my Dad who is practical support (I'm very like him and practical). I realised mum was emotional support a few months ago and I missed her for that and many other reasons yesterday. I actually don't think I've even had time to grieve for her. In fact I know I haven't.
I know it's a hard time for us all so I hope you all managed and I'm sending you huge hugs and love xxx
Hello all, I couldn't come on here yesterday as it was all too hard. I was on the verge of tears all day and broke down several times in secret as I didn't want to spoil the day for anyone. It's my first Christmas since discovering my OH's addiction in October and it's been tough. I've spent it with my parents and he's spent it pwith his and we're giving each other some space for the rest of the week. I'm so very sad that he wasn't with us as we've always had such a good laugh and good times. I did actually manage to smile at something today which felt totally alien these days, I feel like I've forgotten how.
I've been thinking of you all and wish with all my heart that none of us were forced into this dreadful new life. xx
I've been thinking of you all and wish with all my heart that none of us were forced into this dreadful new life. xx
Evening lovlies
Each and everyone of you should feel proud of yourselfs, we got through the day no matter how difficult it was x
Smile you had the best gift , I know how hard it had been but a small step at a time has made the unimaginable, manageable, I could not be happier for you xx
We had dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend who cooked the most amazing dinner, my HC phoned and while the first call was hard, the next couple were so good, he listened to our furbaby open her presents, squeek her toys, we played a word game all together, such a lovely few calls but still tinged with sadness, xx
Each and everyone of you should feel proud of yourselfs, we got through the day no matter how difficult it was x
Smile you had the best gift , I know how hard it had been but a small step at a time has made the unimaginable, manageable, I could not be happier for you xx
We had dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend who cooked the most amazing dinner, my HC phoned and while the first call was hard, the next couple were so good, he listened to our furbaby open her presents, squeek her toys, we played a word game all together, such a lovely few calls but still tinged with sadness, xx
Smile, oh my word. That's just so big. Small fairy steps now - such a small (ENORMOUS) start. I'm holding my breath for you for more - so much love x