Terrified of my future
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Last Tuesday like every other woman on here, my world caved in. I have been with my fiance for 12years and looking forward to getting married next year. It has taken me a long time to finally put my trust into him completley after having a disastrous 1st marriage. He finally convinced me to marry him, I put him on my mortage and at 4:50am Tuesday morning the police raid the house for any downloaded sexual images of children and arrested him. I could not and still cant believe it.
Im absolutely disgusted, appalled, outraged, disappointed, saddened & sickened by him. I want him gone but I also dont want to turn my back on him and want to help him. I have him here then I send him to his parents because I cant bare to have him around me too long.
Im petrified of our financial future and losing our home. I scraped every penny to get this house after my divorce and swore I would never let a man leave me in a desperate situation again. I can no longer work due to bad health and I know this worries my 'fiance' .
I know he loves me which and I still love him makes it all the more harder because I really dont like what he is. Apparently he has been looking at images for 30yrs.
Im scared of whats coming. We have already had 2 of our closest friends drop us. The one told me she wants nothing to do with me as long as Im with him. His family are putting pressure on me to stay with him.
I cant see my future without him but I really dont know how I can go on with him with what he has done.
Im absolutely disgusted, appalled, outraged, disappointed, saddened & sickened by him. I want him gone but I also dont want to turn my back on him and want to help him. I have him here then I send him to his parents because I cant bare to have him around me too long.
Im petrified of our financial future and losing our home. I scraped every penny to get this house after my divorce and swore I would never let a man leave me in a desperate situation again. I can no longer work due to bad health and I know this worries my 'fiance' .
I know he loves me which and I still love him makes it all the more harder because I really dont like what he is. Apparently he has been looking at images for 30yrs.
Im scared of whats coming. We have already had 2 of our closest friends drop us. The one told me she wants nothing to do with me as long as Im with him. His family are putting pressure on me to stay with him.
I cant see my future without him but I really dont know how I can go on with him with what he has done.
Hi Ruby, so sorry that you find yourself in this awful situation. It’s so raw at the start, so many emotions. As hard as might be at this time try be kind to yourself. Take one day at a time or one hour if that’s easier. I’m over 6 years post knock, which turned out to be my son, so slightly different from you but similar in many ways as the love you feel makes decisions difficult. Stop it now helpline got me through a lot of dark times early on and the ladies on here will help too. Hugs to you at this time x
Hi Ruby,
I'm a newcomer here too, also terrified at what the future holds. It is at least a small comfort to find a safe place to share our fears and experiences with others going through a similar hell. I am nowhere near ready to confide in anyone 'real' as yet, not a subject to bring up in casual conversation is it? The average person whose life has been untouched by anything like this is unlikely to be very understanding I would imagine. Rapidly finding out for myself that nothing is as black and white as I would've thought just a few weeks ago , so I hope at least that I can perhaps develop a bit more understanding of what goes so terribly wrong that people end up doing such incredibly stupid and damaging things.
Day at a time, minute by minute if necessary... we will get through it because we must x
I'm a newcomer here too, also terrified at what the future holds. It is at least a small comfort to find a safe place to share our fears and experiences with others going through a similar hell. I am nowhere near ready to confide in anyone 'real' as yet, not a subject to bring up in casual conversation is it? The average person whose life has been untouched by anything like this is unlikely to be very understanding I would imagine. Rapidly finding out for myself that nothing is as black and white as I would've thought just a few weeks ago , so I hope at least that I can perhaps develop a bit more understanding of what goes so terribly wrong that people end up doing such incredibly stupid and damaging things.
Day at a time, minute by minute if necessary... we will get through it because we must x
Another newcomer here too. I totally understand that fear and uncertainity of the future. I've not told anyone in real life what is going on because I'm terrified that my friends are going to decide to disown me because I am chosing to stay.
Just try to take it day by day and remember to be kind to yourself.
Just try to take it day by day and remember to be kind to yourself.
It really it is difficult isnt it. Each day at a time is definitley the best way to take things. We're spending time together here and there, not making plans just taking things steady. Two of our friends are being really supportive and are giving him/us their full support through this difficult time.
For the time being we thought it might be best if he just stays at his parents and we keep taking each day at a time and build on our relationship step by step, sell the house and make a fresh start. Hopefully one day when the time is right we will live together again. I really do hope so. He is a good man really. I have a disability and he has really looked after me like no other man I know.
For the time being we thought it might be best if he just stays at his parents and we keep taking each day at a time and build on our relationship step by step, sell the house and make a fresh start. Hopefully one day when the time is right we will live together again. I really do hope so. He is a good man really. I have a disability and he has really looked after me like no other man I know.
Please don't take this the wrong way but I am so glad to find a post so quickly of someone staying with their partner.
The past 3 days have been a rollercoaster of emotion and stress and holding it all in.
I've presently told no one whats happened as I fear they will disown me for staying but i don't feel I can walk away from our relationship and want to help.
I spoke to someone on the helpline today and I felt so understood and found it really helpful and a great sense of relief to be able to talk to someone about it.
The past 3 days have been a rollercoaster of emotion and stress and holding it all in.
I've presently told no one whats happened as I fear they will disown me for staying but i don't feel I can walk away from our relationship and want to help.
I spoke to someone on the helpline today and I felt so understood and found it really helpful and a great sense of relief to be able to talk to someone about it.