Partner arrested for online chat
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Hi, my partner has a previous caution for reposting a pic of a minor on a chat site which he received a caution 7 years ago and was on the SOR for 2 years, this was all before I met him. When we got together he told me everything about his past from childhood trauma right through.
This was all disclosed to SS via Sarah's law and they have been in and out of our lives but because of parental acrimony with my children's dad. All assessments showed no safeguarding concerns and no risks, including an assessment done on my partner which was then subsequently denied happened and then found.
fast forward May this year we then went under a child protection plan because of emotional harm again because of the parental acrimony, but the SW on our case took an instant dislike to me and decided to dig up intelligence from the police and past interviews and use this to build a case against my partner.
well fast forward to now December he was caught as part of a sting operation he has been talking to a 14 year old girl on social media and we are where we are today.
I have ended our relationship, but I still love him and I know his actions we're situational and he needs help and he knows this too. I have since ending our relationship had family court and all I am left with is 3 hours supervised contact with my one child a week, and this can be changed by the resident parent as they want.
I have done the right thing by my kids to end the relationship I loose him, my house because it will need to be sold, and for what 3 hours supervised time which I could have even if I was in a relationship with him. I just don't know where to turn anymore
This was all disclosed to SS via Sarah's law and they have been in and out of our lives but because of parental acrimony with my children's dad. All assessments showed no safeguarding concerns and no risks, including an assessment done on my partner which was then subsequently denied happened and then found.
fast forward May this year we then went under a child protection plan because of emotional harm again because of the parental acrimony, but the SW on our case took an instant dislike to me and decided to dig up intelligence from the police and past interviews and use this to build a case against my partner.
well fast forward to now December he was caught as part of a sting operation he has been talking to a 14 year old girl on social media and we are where we are today.
I have ended our relationship, but I still love him and I know his actions we're situational and he needs help and he knows this too. I have since ending our relationship had family court and all I am left with is 3 hours supervised contact with my one child a week, and this can be changed by the resident parent as they want.
I have done the right thing by my kids to end the relationship I loose him, my house because it will need to be sold, and for what 3 hours supervised time which I could have even if I was in a relationship with him. I just don't know where to turn anymore
I think you've made the right decision. Some would say once is a mistake... but twice!!! He's obviously got a problem and you're well out of it.
Ren
I am so sorry you have found yourself here
I cannot imagine how hard this is for you
Take a deep breath and only you can decide on what is best for you
Do you have any support? X
I am so sorry you have found yourself here
I cannot imagine how hard this is for you
Take a deep breath and only you can decide on what is best for you
Do you have any support? X
Similar circumstances here...I ended it after the second knock, first knock was before meeting . But have continued supporting his relationship with his child and maintained a friendship. It's very hard at times, but possible! We're 4 years since the second knock. Really really sorry that you are going through this, it's extra hard when you are a parent and have to consider the relationship with the kids as well as what is best for yourself!
Hi Renibop
That's an awful situation to be in, I'm so sorry to hear you're at that point. It sounds like your ex partner needs significant help and sadly it seems they are unlikely to fully rehabilitate and change in a timescale / to the extent needed so for the sake of your children you've made such a brave and wise decision.
The family court judgement sounds very harsh and difficult. It also sounds like an extremely complex situation due to the parental acrimony alongside your ex partners offending.
You do have a right to re-apply to court for a change to the contact arrangements. I would personally advise waiting a few months to 'prove' you have ended the relationship, and to demonstrate an ability to stick to the contact, and that your child/ren benefit from the contact and would also benefit from an increase. Unfortunately in this particular complex circumstance you may need to cut all contact entirely with your ex partner to really demonstrate you have ended things and there is nothing ambitious your children's parent could challenge you on.
If your children's father messes you about and changed contact a lot this is good evidence also to reapply to court to have a firmer arrangement that benefits you
Wishing you all the best for the future
That's an awful situation to be in, I'm so sorry to hear you're at that point. It sounds like your ex partner needs significant help and sadly it seems they are unlikely to fully rehabilitate and change in a timescale / to the extent needed so for the sake of your children you've made such a brave and wise decision.
The family court judgement sounds very harsh and difficult. It also sounds like an extremely complex situation due to the parental acrimony alongside your ex partners offending.
You do have a right to re-apply to court for a change to the contact arrangements. I would personally advise waiting a few months to 'prove' you have ended the relationship, and to demonstrate an ability to stick to the contact, and that your child/ren benefit from the contact and would also benefit from an increase. Unfortunately in this particular complex circumstance you may need to cut all contact entirely with your ex partner to really demonstrate you have ended things and there is nothing ambitious your children's parent could challenge you on.
If your children's father messes you about and changed contact a lot this is good evidence also to reapply to court to have a firmer arrangement that benefits you
Wishing you all the best for the future
Thanks for all those that took the time to respond to my post.
I do have support around me albeit I find it very hard to ask for help and reach out. I also have a health issue with my mum going on who has just had surgery to remove a tumour from her bladder and is now awaiting histology results (it never rains but it pours)
The house will be on the market by the end of the week, but I now have the added worry about being able to pay the bills and eat, and he may well need to move back into the house until it is sold. (I don't have a problem with this) but I am concerned about neighbours and friends reactions, and how he may feel.
I do have support around me albeit I find it very hard to ask for help and reach out. I also have a health issue with my mum going on who has just had surgery to remove a tumour from her bladder and is now awaiting histology results (it never rains but it pours)
The house will be on the market by the end of the week, but I now have the added worry about being able to pay the bills and eat, and he may well need to move back into the house until it is sold. (I don't have a problem with this) but I am concerned about neighbours and friends reactions, and how he may feel.