Can you ever start again truly
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I have 3x children with him for it was June 2022 he was arrested and our relationship crumble began with the kids no vists etc are given via ss or police.
My kids came off the cps of May 2023 and was still only with police proceedings as to when/if kids were going to have any future visits with him.... along the way his only just received his 2years suspension and community work with course to do regarding what is necessary to me for him to do because he needs to wakeup to why he chose do it and to never go there ever again..... and how we can go fward to that his po put his referral to his possibility of any future action in vists to his kids to begin with the assessment of the ss to decide just happening regarding a week bf Xmas so now I'm awaiting for the dession to what if happens when I'm working on supporting my kids and the hope to have a possible bit of normality in my children and thier dad...... us to be just friends and supporting our kids in best as we can through this sort most on here are going through....
My kids came off the cps of May 2023 and was still only with police proceedings as to when/if kids were going to have any future visits with him.... along the way his only just received his 2years suspension and community work with course to do regarding what is necessary to me for him to do because he needs to wakeup to why he chose do it and to never go there ever again..... and how we can go fward to that his po put his referral to his possibility of any future action in vists to his kids to begin with the assessment of the ss to decide just happening regarding a week bf Xmas so now I'm awaiting for the dession to what if happens when I'm working on supporting my kids and the hope to have a possible bit of normality in my children and thier dad...... us to be just friends and supporting our kids in best as we can through this sort most on here are going through....
Hi Whisper - it sounds like you're thinking hard about what the future holds for you and your children. It can be confusing, can't it? Your priority is to keep them safe but you need to work out what part their father can take in all this. Does his community order include any courses he has to do? If so that should help him understand why he did what he did, which will help you. Perhaps you could find a course for yourself on how to be a protective parent. It's good that your partner didn't get a custodial or suspended sentence.
Sorry if I've not answered your post helpfully but sending a big hug and hope for you in 2024
Sorry if I've not answered your post helpfully but sending a big hug and hope for you in 2024
I am awaiting for the assessment process to finish by the lady ( sw) that came bf Xmas my kids are my life so yes I have always got interest in bf his my youngest is 2yo this month so his not had anything since he was 6month wen his dad was removed from the home iv got a possible family support worker to help us but as far as I'm unsure when it starts his got a course to do yes and he has assured me that he will do all nessary on hope to see the kid's whether they are supervision in sw to arrange or other way I'm new to say I know what way its all on maybes..... but I'm going to be getting talk therapy starting hoping for this month as I could benefit myself to be more emotional strongminded..... I'm not going to rush into a restart of a possible relationship with thier dad I can't say I'm eager to go for it his got kid's to be able to show them he can do better and he will have to understand that I too couldn't live with him again I can't do that much so it will be a situation for him to be out family home but to have a place for kid's to vist in future when kid's are old enough as my kids are ( 2yo 12yo and 17yo) so I'm just looking at friends now for some time in future when I trust kid's too maybe is always there.... ( do i seemselfishor unfairi wonder sometimes..... but my supportnetworkwillnot supportmeina relationshipwithhim so iv got too muchtoloose i feel)
. but thanks for your time to reply hope u have a good new year.....
( his on register and he has community service 200hrs) .... his got 2years suspension and if mockup he straight away in jail....)
. but thanks for your time to reply hope u have a good new year.....
( his on register and he has community service 200hrs) .... his got 2years suspension and if mockup he straight away in jail....)
So brief update is that we FINALLY have been granted the funding from social services for so Lucy Faithfull Risk Assessment. CPP says at the moment that he can't live here.
It's been a really rough journey to get here. Despite be allowed to for well over a year.
Police have said the consider him a low risk to his own children. He has no bail conditions as he is RUI. Device check took almost two years and found nothing we didn't already know. Images of all 3 categories and an "obvious and historic pornography addiction"
Anyone have any insight into what happens from here? What is the risk assessment like? If it finds him low risk can social services still make him stay out of the house?
It's been a really rough journey to get here. Despite be allowed to for well over a year.
Police have said the consider him a low risk to his own children. He has no bail conditions as he is RUI. Device check took almost two years and found nothing we didn't already know. Images of all 3 categories and an "obvious and historic pornography addiction"
Anyone have any insight into what happens from here? What is the risk assessment like? If it finds him low risk can social services still make him stay out of the house?
@lonelymum hi we had a forensic risk assessment funded by SS just before Christmas completed by Professor Leam Craig. It was 1 full day with his associates then 2.5 hours with him. It was hard and triggering but came back low risk and positive.
We are struggling at the moment as SS say no safeguarding risk but only allowing 2 hours one evening and 3 hours at weekend specified days and want to close the case at that. As much as I don't want SS in our lives I feel we haven't yet got to the point where we want to be yet.
We are struggling at the moment as SS say no safeguarding risk but only allowing 2 hours one evening and 3 hours at weekend specified days and want to close the case at that. As much as I don't want SS in our lives I feel we haven't yet got to the point where we want to be yet.
We have started a fresh my oh wasn't allowed home. Supervised contact only. He was suspended and community service he now lives back at home. And allowed unsupervised contact when I decide. We was on cin for two years he wasn't allowed home for 21 months. We now have ss closed and no involvement apart from probation and visor team
hey there good afternoon my husband was arrested on online offences since that day my world has crumbled upside down. he was the only freind i had.my life is so miserable and wasted now.any suggestion on how to rebuild the life?
Hi,
I'm 3 years post sentencing, still living apart from my daughters father but happy with the life I have made since this.
The early days are incredibly tough but finding little things in each day or week can help to show you the strength you are gaining.
On the understanding why section there is a topic called surviving the early days, that's very useful xxx
I'm 3 years post sentencing, still living apart from my daughters father but happy with the life I have made since this.
The early days are incredibly tough but finding little things in each day or week can help to show you the strength you are gaining.
On the understanding why section there is a topic called surviving the early days, that's very useful xxx
if you mind what did you decide on staying or leaving your husband ?
I came across an article that reminded me of your situation https://www.pinchofattitude.com/hitting-rock-bottom/ The author talks about hitting rock bottom after a divorce. Some of the lessons she learned that may help you are taking things one step at a time, focusing on your kids, asking for support, and remembering that you have the strength to navigate this difficult time. Wishing you and your children all the best.
Thanks @strengtheningbonds for the link. I am 16 months on from the knock. Going through a low point. I have found strengths I didn't know I had to get here. My OH has been through the court system and on a 3 year community order with 200 hours community payback. We haven't lived together since the knock . I am currently considering whether to start over and buy a house together . I love him and want him safe but my trust is shattered. I find my life scary. I look back over the years with my OH and I am not sure what is real. I question whether it's possible to start again . I worry about living a small life and feeling estranged from my relatives and friends . I am finding life really challenging at present . I have a counsellor which is helpful.
i am battling the same situation,i love him alot ,i dont even think i can find anyone anymore,its very hard to move on even if there are thousand reasons to.I am constantly asking myself was he lying to me all this while???My oh was so good to me thropughout i never had thought about it coming!!!!