Plain clothes officers (Home Visits)
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Hi everyone,
Few of you already know that I cannot sleep at night so I log on onto the Forum and start writing a new post as a way to heal. I don't always plan out what to write so here goes: it's 2.28 am on the 2nd of January. Difficult to sleep but I'm cosy in bed.
Wishing you all a wonderful New Year full of Love, hope, success, forgiveness and good health!
I don't sleep well anymore and I can feel tired and lazy in the daytime. It's very sad but I'm hoping to sort out my stress and anxiety so I could sleep a full night. I'm truly thinking of buying some sleeping aids over the counter. I overthink every scenario in my head and I'm anxious about what the future holds for us (my son and I). One more thing affecting my sleep is that I am unsettled about the plain clothes officers who come to visit my son at our property. They are polite but they are nevertheless the Police. They wear their own plain clothes so lucky for us they aren't too obvious in our neighbourhood and they drive a civilian car but to me they really look like detectives, they have their radios switched on/off when they are at the door and they have their badges at hands.
I don't know why I always worry about everything, such as my own clothes drying on the airer or left over wrappers from snacks, tea cups left on the coffee table from the evening before. I have 2 indoor cats and they naturally do their business in their litter trays and when they need to go to the toilet it is somehow very embarrassing as the smells can be horrendous. I'm slowly getting used to the officers now, our main officer is always the same guy but he comes in with different people, a female or a male officer. There were once 3 of them and they usually sit in my front room and chat with my son for 30 mins and check his phone and iPad, I usually come in and listen to all of them and sometimes take part in the conversation. It's often the same chit chat, my son is working so they are happy with that and often praise him for having a job after being prison and having a criminal record. They tell him that working is Paramount to get back on his feet and I don't disagree with them...
It is kind of weird really because I'm a very private person and once a month or less we get an unexpected visit from these plain clothed detectives. I'm polite so I offer them a cup of tea but they always refuse to have one. It suits me fine! They are just here to monitor my son's lifestyle and progress etc... Do any of you also have regular visits from detectives at your homes? I'm sure it's the norm now and for many more years to come. What is it like for you? Do you feel easy about the home visits?
How do you feel about the home visits guys?
Why do I worry about my rug not being hoovered when they come in early morning?
What type of questions do you ask the detectives?
What constructive help can they really provide for my son?
If anyone wish to write some comments about the home visits, please feel free to do so.
Thank you xx
Few of you already know that I cannot sleep at night so I log on onto the Forum and start writing a new post as a way to heal. I don't always plan out what to write so here goes: it's 2.28 am on the 2nd of January. Difficult to sleep but I'm cosy in bed.
Wishing you all a wonderful New Year full of Love, hope, success, forgiveness and good health!
I don't sleep well anymore and I can feel tired and lazy in the daytime. It's very sad but I'm hoping to sort out my stress and anxiety so I could sleep a full night. I'm truly thinking of buying some sleeping aids over the counter. I overthink every scenario in my head and I'm anxious about what the future holds for us (my son and I). One more thing affecting my sleep is that I am unsettled about the plain clothes officers who come to visit my son at our property. They are polite but they are nevertheless the Police. They wear their own plain clothes so lucky for us they aren't too obvious in our neighbourhood and they drive a civilian car but to me they really look like detectives, they have their radios switched on/off when they are at the door and they have their badges at hands.
I don't know why I always worry about everything, such as my own clothes drying on the airer or left over wrappers from snacks, tea cups left on the coffee table from the evening before. I have 2 indoor cats and they naturally do their business in their litter trays and when they need to go to the toilet it is somehow very embarrassing as the smells can be horrendous. I'm slowly getting used to the officers now, our main officer is always the same guy but he comes in with different people, a female or a male officer. There were once 3 of them and they usually sit in my front room and chat with my son for 30 mins and check his phone and iPad, I usually come in and listen to all of them and sometimes take part in the conversation. It's often the same chit chat, my son is working so they are happy with that and often praise him for having a job after being prison and having a criminal record. They tell him that working is Paramount to get back on his feet and I don't disagree with them...
It is kind of weird really because I'm a very private person and once a month or less we get an unexpected visit from these plain clothed detectives. I'm polite so I offer them a cup of tea but they always refuse to have one. It suits me fine! They are just here to monitor my son's lifestyle and progress etc... Do any of you also have regular visits from detectives at your homes? I'm sure it's the norm now and for many more years to come. What is it like for you? Do you feel easy about the home visits?
How do you feel about the home visits guys?
Why do I worry about my rug not being hoovered when they come in early morning?
What type of questions do you ask the detectives?
What constructive help can they really provide for my son?
If anyone wish to write some comments about the home visits, please feel free to do so.
Thank you xx
Post deleted
Morning SkinnyLatte x
I think our minds are our own worst enemy at times , we cannot control this journey so maybe we look at what we can control
Maybe speak to your GP to recommend something to help your mind relax at night
Have you thought about listening to some relaxing music, read a book,
You are an incredibly strong person and I think many of us can resonate what you are going through,
A new year, so maybe now this may sound silly but what about buying a pretty glass jar, some little post it notes, and for each day write one thing down that you have achieved, simple things not things you know you cant control!
Dont worry about the cats litter tray , or the empty wrappers these are easalie sorted,
I cant offer any advice on visits as we havent gotten that far but there are some wonderful ladies here that can offer much needed advice
Sending hugs xx
I think our minds are our own worst enemy at times , we cannot control this journey so maybe we look at what we can control
Maybe speak to your GP to recommend something to help your mind relax at night
Have you thought about listening to some relaxing music, read a book,
You are an incredibly strong person and I think many of us can resonate what you are going through,
A new year, so maybe now this may sound silly but what about buying a pretty glass jar, some little post it notes, and for each day write one thing down that you have achieved, simple things not things you know you cant control!
Dont worry about the cats litter tray , or the empty wrappers these are easalie sorted,
I cant offer any advice on visits as we havent gotten that far but there are some wonderful ladies here that can offer much needed advice
Sending hugs xx
Skinny latte,
I could have wrote this.. I have 2 indoor cats (btw raw cat food helps with the smell haha) and a dog. I think that actually, you supporting your son, engaging with them speaks a lot more then your cats having a poo. They always pick the time you don't want them too haha. You know, that's life...but it sounds like you are an amazing support and that goes along way with a job. we haven't had them come round yet, just waiting. Glad it's not been this week as they would of caught me in my PJ's virtually every day!!
I remember when we had the knock, I was so glad it was November and I had thick pJ's on!
I could have wrote this.. I have 2 indoor cats (btw raw cat food helps with the smell haha) and a dog. I think that actually, you supporting your son, engaging with them speaks a lot more then your cats having a poo. They always pick the time you don't want them too haha. You know, that's life...but it sounds like you are an amazing support and that goes along way with a job. we haven't had them come round yet, just waiting. Glad it's not been this week as they would of caught me in my PJ's virtually every day!!
I remember when we had the knock, I was so glad it was November and I had thick pJ's on!
Hi there - for what it's worth I suspect that worrying about the things in your house are partly because you have lived with the fear of other people's judgment for so long that it's spilled over onto everyday things; and maybe partly as with all of this we have so little control that making sure that everything is sorted eg vaccuming the carpet is one small way we can be in control so when we 'fail' it hits us hard.
As for OTC sleep aids - I've tried them all with some success but anything like Nytol which is a sedating antihistamine now gives me restless legs and also makes me want to wee several times during the night so it defeats the purpose really! One thing that has worked is listening to the hypnosis/meditation which comes with Paul McKenna's book about sleeping. I was sceptical but discovered that when I listened to it I never reached the end as I'd fallen asleep. I stopped using it after our son had The Knock as my mind was so overstimulated all of the time that it overcame the hypnosis where you do have to kind of empty your thoughts and focus on Paul's voice. The voices in my head were shouting much too loudly for it to work but I might give it another try.
As for OTC sleep aids - I've tried them all with some success but anything like Nytol which is a sedating antihistamine now gives me restless legs and also makes me want to wee several times during the night so it defeats the purpose really! One thing that has worked is listening to the hypnosis/meditation which comes with Paul McKenna's book about sleeping. I was sceptical but discovered that when I listened to it I never reached the end as I'd fallen asleep. I stopped using it after our son had The Knock as my mind was so overstimulated all of the time that it overcame the hypnosis where you do have to kind of empty your thoughts and focus on Paul's voice. The voices in my head were shouting much too loudly for it to work but I might give it another try.
We have had 2 visits from the team. The first time they came I answered the door as my son was still in bed but this didn't appear to worry them. They came in and waited patiently for him to get dressed. I haven't sat in on either visit but my son says that they are respectful and polite to him. Initially I did worry about them turning up at inconvenient times but as we haven't had a visit for over 3 months now I've haven't really given them much thought recently.
I have always suffered with insomnia but my sleeplessness and anxiety became unmanageable for me following my sons arrest. I now take two different types of medication for anxiety. Trazodone which I take at night as it is also a sedative and Escitalopram I take in the morning.
I have always suffered with insomnia but my sleeplessness and anxiety became unmanageable for me following my sons arrest. I now take two different types of medication for anxiety. Trazodone which I take at night as it is also a sedative and Escitalopram I take in the morning.
Re your sleep, I used to wake at everything, any noise, movement etc. After the court case I got my friend to do rewind therapy on me. It's a trauma PTSD technique, I sleep like a baby now.