My children can’t see each other?
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My eldest son is currently serving a five year sentence. Social services will not support my 14 year old son to visit his brother, or have any contact. I'm not condoning what my eldest did, but he has never done anything to my youngest and I will be there to chaperone during visits or even just calls if they prefer. I'm scared of the damage this will do to my youngest if he doesn't get to ask my eldest why? He is just full of hate at the moment and that's not helpful. I don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in this situation. Any advise?
Good morning HE!
Firstly, I'm so sorry you and your family find yourselves in this situation and I hope your son is coping in Prison. I wish I could help re your question but there is a lady who posts on here who is a social worker and hopefully she will see this. You might like to repost it on the 'general discussion' bit of the forum as I've learnt over the months that it's the main place for people to read and reply. Personally I find it contrary to SS supposed commitment to help children within their family unit that they are refusing to help. Is your younger son saying he doesn't want to see his brother as if so that's probably at the bottom of their decision as he will have a big say at the age of 14. If so that's very frustrating for you when you know your children best. Could you encourage him to write to his brother or is he anti any contact at all at the moment? If he wants to see his brother, albeit out of needing questions answered to help with his feelings of hate, I would think that is something SS should be working towards for your younger son's benefit.
I'm sure that our loved ones who commit these offences would have thought twice if they knew the ripples of family breakdown that would be caused.....
Hope you get some more helpful advice than I can give but as a mum too (albeit a much older son than yours) I know the anguish that can tear us apart from all this.
Sending a big hug and do message me if you need to let off steam privately to another mum x
Firstly, I'm so sorry you and your family find yourselves in this situation and I hope your son is coping in Prison. I wish I could help re your question but there is a lady who posts on here who is a social worker and hopefully she will see this. You might like to repost it on the 'general discussion' bit of the forum as I've learnt over the months that it's the main place for people to read and reply. Personally I find it contrary to SS supposed commitment to help children within their family unit that they are refusing to help. Is your younger son saying he doesn't want to see his brother as if so that's probably at the bottom of their decision as he will have a big say at the age of 14. If so that's very frustrating for you when you know your children best. Could you encourage him to write to his brother or is he anti any contact at all at the moment? If he wants to see his brother, albeit out of needing questions answered to help with his feelings of hate, I would think that is something SS should be working towards for your younger son's benefit.
I'm sure that our loved ones who commit these offences would have thought twice if they knew the ripples of family breakdown that would be caused.....
Hope you get some more helpful advice than I can give but as a mum too (albeit a much older son than yours) I know the anguish that can tear us apart from all this.
Sending a big hug and do message me if you need to let off steam privately to another mum x
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. I don't know if this will be of any help to you but have you thought about ringing 'Young Minds' charity. I am sure if they are unable to help you they will have some good suggestions for signposting you to organisations that can.
I hope you get some more suggestions from others on the forum.
Thinking of you and your sons.
I hope you get some more suggestions from others on the forum.
Thinking of you and your sons.
Hi, my person is my ex husband and he was sentenced to 3 years in prison. At the time our children were 12,14, 18, 19. The 18 and 19 yr olds were free to visit him in prison whenever they wanted. My youngest 2 were not. They weren't allowed to write to him or to have phonecalls either. So the last time they saw their beloved Dad was when the Police turned up to arrest him. My youngest were interviewed the next day by SS's and told them that their Dad had never harmed them and that they loved him very much. Y This made no difference. I went to see a solicitor about it. She told me to back off and that what SS's said would stand regardless. It was devastating. What was even worse was that when I visited him in prison, the visiting hall was full of other prisoners young children! The harm that has been caused by my youngest two kids not being able to see their Dad for years has been every bit as harmful as the reason for the original arrest. Eventually they were allowed supervised access once they turned 16. X