What to tell people??
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hi
my husband was arrested over a week ago and his equipment seized and taken for investigation, they have said the queue for the equipment is around 9 months, my husband is adamant they will not find anything to charge him with but there will be conversations about things which he knows are morally wrong, wether he gets charged for those conversations we will have to wait and see, in the meantime he has spoken to the stop it now helpline and inquired about the course, he realises he has a porn addiction and even now days he wishes he had know about this charity so he could’ve got help sooner, he is looking at renting a flat as he is not allowed to live here with our 13 year old daughter while the investigation is underway and we don’t want to have to ask people for help and he can’t afford hotels for 9 months! We have only told 2 close friends so far, we have kept it from our families and my 2 sons who will be home for Christmas, what do we tell them when my husband is leaving each evening to go back to his flat? I hate having to lie to everybody but we know it’s for the best, how did others cope with the secret?
jb
my husband was arrested over a week ago and his equipment seized and taken for investigation, they have said the queue for the equipment is around 9 months, my husband is adamant they will not find anything to charge him with but there will be conversations about things which he knows are morally wrong, wether he gets charged for those conversations we will have to wait and see, in the meantime he has spoken to the stop it now helpline and inquired about the course, he realises he has a porn addiction and even now days he wishes he had know about this charity so he could’ve got help sooner, he is looking at renting a flat as he is not allowed to live here with our 13 year old daughter while the investigation is underway and we don’t want to have to ask people for help and he can’t afford hotels for 9 months! We have only told 2 close friends so far, we have kept it from our families and my 2 sons who will be home for Christmas, what do we tell them when my husband is leaving each evening to go back to his flat? I hate having to lie to everybody but we know it’s for the best, how did others cope with the secret?
jb
Hi O&U
thsnks for your reply, the biggest concern I have is lying to my two grown up sons and also making our daughter lie to them, we feel it’s for the best, we don’t want either of them to worry, my eldest is not my husbands but my husband did bring him up from the age of 3 he still has contact with his dad and our other concern would be he would tell him, we feel at the moment the least people who know the better and we are going to tell our boys we’re having a little break and maybe one day in the future when it’s all over then tell them the truth, we just don’t know
jb
thsnks for your reply, the biggest concern I have is lying to my two grown up sons and also making our daughter lie to them, we feel it’s for the best, we don’t want either of them to worry, my eldest is not my husbands but my husband did bring him up from the age of 3 he still has contact with his dad and our other concern would be he would tell him, we feel at the moment the least people who know the better and we are going to tell our boys we’re having a little break and maybe one day in the future when it’s all over then tell them the truth, we just don’t know
jb
hi
in relation to this i told one of the girls at my group and suddenly she burst into tears .i feltvawful thatvid upset her and worse that 22 yrs ago her son was the victim of a person who had downloaded images but took it further.
this has floored me and now in the real world im not telling another sole. i think im totally broken now as so isolated. by the way its my dad whos the offender and im an only child with a disabled mother we have court this friday for sentencing .
xxx
in relation to this i told one of the girls at my group and suddenly she burst into tears .i feltvawful thatvid upset her and worse that 22 yrs ago her son was the victim of a person who had downloaded images but took it further.
this has floored me and now in the real world im not telling another sole. i think im totally broken now as so isolated. by the way its my dad whos the offender and im an only child with a disabled mother we have court this friday for sentencing .
xxx
by group it was a slimming group . id turned up a mess and she asked why x
Serrena dont be so hard on yourself you could not have known what happened to her son and its not your fault she got upset. Its a really difficult thing telling other people they dont always react as you would like or expect. I have told a few people family and friends but still feel very isolated. I found talking to a councellor very helpful, they dont judge or react like other people, just listen. I also find the stop it now helpline really helpful, they also listen and can offer advice. It is an isolating situation but remember you are not alone and theres help out. Im sure friday will be a difficult day, stay strong and i hope you can find some support for yourself to get through this.