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3 years today since the knock

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Louise49

Member since
January 2021

494 posts

Posted Sun January 7, 2024 11:32amReport post

So today it's exactly 3 years since my partner got the knock. An horrific day that changed our lives forever. I have stayed with my partner and hopefully after all this we can concentrate on rebuilding our lives and I can get to a place where I can fully understand why he's done what he's done ( I'm not that yet). The last 3 years have really took its toll on me, I'm a changed person. I suffer from anxiety and it's been a huge strain on my mental health. He's had quite a few plea hearings cancelled and sentence hearings relisted about 3 times so that's been awful. I get into such a state in the week leading upto a sentence hearing for it to be relisted, it's awful. He has a sentence hearing in February so hopefully it won't be relisted, I want this all to be over now. Three years is far too long to wait! It's like a sentence in itself and in my mind it seems unfair if he was to get a custodial! He's been free for the last three years to carry on as normal ( with this hanging over us of course) but yeah free to work full time and contribute to society so a custodial seems a kick in the teeth!

Edited Sun January 7, 2024 11:33am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sun January 7, 2024 11:59amReport post

Louise

I totally understand how you are feeling, the length of time this takes , you get all ready for the court hearing for it then to be cancelled, we had it 3 times with my son

Hopefully it will go ahead in Feb no matter how much we dont want it to at least you will both know what you have to deal with

Hugs sent x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2554 posts

Posted Sun January 7, 2024 7:01pmReport post

I agree Louise.

It seems crazy to me someone is deemed unsafe on their day at court (which has no doubt been cancelled numerous times), yet have been living in society for years beforehand!

It doesn't make sense.

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

447 posts

Posted Mon January 8, 2024 9:19amReport post

Hi Louise,

I empathise with your frustrations and we're only 12 months down the line and still in device checking land!

My husband and I were talking the other day about the way people have to wait so long for their case to be concluded and how unfair this is on everyone involved.

We were saying that despite understanding about cuts to services, including the police, there should be some kind of regulation to 'encourage' the police to get moving. Especially when someone is RUI as we all know that can be a recipe for being forgotten for long periods of time as the one being investigated stops being a stat on the police bail system so the police can get away with it. If someone on remand has their sentence to include time already served then why can't there be a time threshold for cases like our persons to be heard and above that there is some kind of penalty for the police, CPS, judicial system etc. even if there can't be a reduction in sentences like remand cases. I'm not just talking about offences like the ones we're dealing with but an overall rebooting of the criminal justice system and its efficiency? But yet again I'm probably living in cloud cuckoo land!

Wishes for a speedy conclusion, Louise xx

Edited Mon January 8, 2024 9:20am

Louise49

Member since
January 2021

494 posts

Posted Mon January 8, 2024 9:43amReport post

Rainy day I totally agree!. It's just ridiculous we've waited this long. I understand cutbacks, resources are tight etc etc but they need a overall on not just these crimes but everything. If my partner had the option to undertake some sort of program straight away after his arrest he would of. I don't condone what he's done (down loading large amount of iioc all cats) but when I look at the punishment he could potentially get it seems harsh compared to other crimes. I've always said that there should be a register for violent criminals, those who've done GBH or ABH. My partner could potentially be on the SOR for 10 years or longer and have a SHPO for the same time. Yes what he's done is bad but a lot of other offences don't have this strict restrictions!. In one of his plea hearings the judge had to even look at sentence guidelines she didn't know but then went onto to say to him expect a lengthy custodial!! Well that was rubbish cos to me lengthy is like 8-10 years! Well the guidelines are not that!. I dunno I just think it's all a farce, if they deem him so dangerous they need to lock him up then maybe they should monitor him right from arrest then they would see he hadn't even looked at regular porn he's that petrified!

Edited Mon January 8, 2024 9:48am

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Mon January 8, 2024 10:17amReport post

I am sick of the delays as well.

The police have been in possession of my husband's forensic report for months now, but they haven't had a chance to look at it yet, as they are so "busy".

Louise49

Member since
January 2021

494 posts

Posted Mon January 8, 2024 10:32amReport post

HPL I feel your pain. My partner waited months from being issued the charges for it even to get to the plea hearing. Then the plea hearings were cancelled quite a few times. The worry and anxiety for me is immense, I am definately a changed person. I have no joy in life now. The other massive worry for me is the media. I've never understood how if you're put on the SOR after the plea hearing which my partner is it's a private register. People can't just rock up to a police station and ask for the name and address of someone on the SoR yet a reporter can put all that info in an article!!. They can report on my OH case, sentence name and address! Honestly along with prison the media is my biggest fear

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Mon January 8, 2024 10:36amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm