Family and Friends Forum

Devestatedwife

Member since
October 2023

61 posts

Posted Tue January 9, 2024 6:27pmReport post

After talking to my person today i found out he's seriously suicidal . After the contact has been taken away with the children completely by social services he says he can't go on without them. I know he's a good dad but my hands are tied.

this nightmare just gets worse

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Tue January 9, 2024 8:17pmReport post

Oh gosh that's a huge worry. Who does your OH have supporting him? He may not feel able to seek help for himself so someone may need to offer to do this for him. I'm not sure where you live but in my local area the 111 service have a list of contacts for mental health crises. If you think he is in immediate danger I would just take him to the emergency department. If you think he can wait until tomorrow then he or someone on his behalf need to contact his GP.
I realise it feels like the end of the world for him now, but things will get better. I promise.

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Tue January 9, 2024 9:37pmReport post

Oh no I'm so sorry.

It sounds like you need to get urgent help for him today - is there anywhere he can go and stay and be supported and watched, such as with parents or a family member? You can ring samaritans, encourage him to ring lff in the morning, ring the mental health crisis team to get support out to him urgently.

There will be light and brightness again, it may not seem it now. Remind him he is loved, and valuable, and important

The contact can and will be sorted, frustratingly social services like most public sector bodies are incredibly bureacratic. Youve also had a horrifically strict social worker here and their approach appears to be entirely unreasonable - I am confident you can correct the situation quickly by clearly stating you are following all bail conditions and over a video call there is no way he can harm the children (if they are worried he could screen shot and send pictures, there are apps you can download to monitor this such as ever accountable)

I would also say there is no legal condition on you to stop phone contact. Obviously you want to work positively with social services to show you are protective but if you can demonstrate you can manage contact safely over a video or phone call, and that your children are experiencing harm by NOT being able to see/hear from their father e.g. to their attachment and mental wellbeing, then a social worker is not doing their job properly if they disallow it.

The social worker needs to demonstrate a likelihood of harm to the children from phone contact to recommend it ceases. I can't see how they can demonstrate this unless their father has sexually abused them or has been sharing photos of them - ask this question and if they say there is no evidence of this I think you can really challenge them to get contact put back in place

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Wed January 10, 2024 9:35amReport post

Exactly my thoughts.

You probably already do this, but just tell the social worker you will be present during video calls and phone calls.

Looking for Help

Member since
November 2023

33 posts

Posted Wed January 10, 2024 11:11amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Thu February 15, 2024 4:55pm