Rui better than bail?
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A month ago my husband was caught online chatting to another adult about her child. He's on bail now with condition that he has supervised contact with under 16s. We are working with SS to try and get him supervised contact but they don't seem to give me a straight answer of when this will actually be - it's confusing because the bail conditions say he can have supervised contact but right now, SS say he can't?!?!
anyway the reason for my post was I recently googled what RUI stood for as I'm so new to this I had no idea it meant something different to bail.
am I right in thinking RUI means no bail conditions- so effectively if he was put on RUI eventually, then he could return home?
Has anyone has a similar experience re their person having online chat to an adult about children and eventually being put on RUI? I understand the benefits for the police is that they can drag their heels with RUI... typical.
anyway the reason for my post was I recently googled what RUI stood for as I'm so new to this I had no idea it meant something different to bail.
am I right in thinking RUI means no bail conditions- so effectively if he was put on RUI eventually, then he could return home?
Has anyone has a similar experience re their person having online chat to an adult about children and eventually being put on RUI? I understand the benefits for the police is that they can drag their heels with RUI... typical.
Hi,
are your children currently on any sort of plan with ss? Have ss specified that he can't have any supervised contact or that you can't supervise? It may be that they are banning contact currently in order to assess your capability to protect.
They should be able to provide a timeline for how long their assessments will take especially if the children are on a plan (child in need or child protection). Legally if they are child in need the only legal requirement is to follow his bail conditions, although if you were to allow supervised contact against their recommendations then they could escalate the plan to child protection or start legal proceedings so they would legally have more of a say in banning contact. I would advise that you look into the local authorities website to gain insight into how ss work within your area, write a safety plan for supervised contact and go through it with your sw asking for clear guidelines on when they aim to have completed the necessary assessments for contact.
It would also benefit you to gain full disclosure from your partners solicitor so that you are fully aware of everything and ss can't throw anything at you that you weren't aware of. If you are able to demonstrate that you know the risks involved and how you intend to mitigate them in terms of contact this should be viewed favourable. Feel free to message me xxx
are your children currently on any sort of plan with ss? Have ss specified that he can't have any supervised contact or that you can't supervise? It may be that they are banning contact currently in order to assess your capability to protect.
They should be able to provide a timeline for how long their assessments will take especially if the children are on a plan (child in need or child protection). Legally if they are child in need the only legal requirement is to follow his bail conditions, although if you were to allow supervised contact against their recommendations then they could escalate the plan to child protection or start legal proceedings so they would legally have more of a say in banning contact. I would advise that you look into the local authorities website to gain insight into how ss work within your area, write a safety plan for supervised contact and go through it with your sw asking for clear guidelines on when they aim to have completed the necessary assessments for contact.
It would also benefit you to gain full disclosure from your partners solicitor so that you are fully aware of everything and ss can't throw anything at you that you weren't aware of. If you are able to demonstrate that you know the risks involved and how you intend to mitigate them in terms of contact this should be viewed favourable. Feel free to message me xxx
Hi, my husband was arrested for online chat with an adult about children in July 2022 he was bailed twice then end of October 2022 he was Rui and has been since still awaiting phone to be checked we were told in august 2023 it would be around another 500 days!!
He has no restrictions, ss actually closed our case the week before he was Rui they believed he would be put on bail again. Our sw rang me in a panic to make sure I'd still stick with the safety plan and to put us on to early help which was stopped after a few months.
id say Rui is better for restrictions but at the same time it's worse because there seems no time limits and we're just left here waiting with no updates, I just want to get this over with now. Every time my door goes I panic with worry, my anxiety some days is through the roof.
He has no restrictions, ss actually closed our case the week before he was Rui they believed he would be put on bail again. Our sw rang me in a panic to make sure I'd still stick with the safety plan and to put us on to early help which was stopped after a few months.
id say Rui is better for restrictions but at the same time it's worse because there seems no time limits and we're just left here waiting with no updates, I just want to get this over with now. Every time my door goes I panic with worry, my anxiety some days is through the roof.
Confusedwife - thanks for that, sounds like our situation is very similar. It’s absolutely ridiculous how long the device searches take. They have three iPads (one which doesn’t work) two phones and two laptops. One is my husbands work laptop and one is my work phone. I really need my husband to be back at work soon as the financial stress is quite big.
Could I ask what your person’s bail restrictions were and how long it took for you to get SS to put the plans in place so that he could have supervised contact?
It’s helpful to know that RUI is a bit better restrictions wise. It baffles me how RUI has no restrictions yet they’re likely to go on the sex offenders register if charged. I don’t understand how that works, if they’re considered a risk once sentenced surely they’re considered a risk whilst RUI too?!?!
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with the wait. It is such a long wait, but I suppose your life is relatively normal until they decide what they’re going to do? And maybe it’s harsh of me but the way I see it is, that’s his problem, the worry over charge/sentencing? Appreciate it has effect on us too but even if he gets a custodial it’s likely to be less time than they’ve been on bail for and we managed/are managing it , so can do it again!
Hope I haven’t misunderstood anything re this xx
Distressed and pregnant - they’ve put us on a child in need and are starting to assess me as protective carer next week but that doesn’t finish until mid February! All SS have said is that he can have contact via FaceTime which is not contact in my eyes - she’s also 14 months old so it just doesn’t work and she gets upset that she can touch him.
They are providing no timelines whatsoever, I’ve asked a million times. They say they can’t even start the risk assessment on my person until the investigation is done - which takes years!!! I’m so confused.
I will have a look at the local authority website, thanks! I may drop you a message actually as I’m unsure about this full disclosure thing. My husband has told me everything, I trust that he has but obviously if there is a formal route I need to go down re disclosure from his solicitor I’d be grateful to know how I should proceed? We tried having a call with his solicitor a few weeks ago and she said I could not be on the call as I was classed as a witness as police took a statement from me on the day he was arrested. Obviously I had no idea what I was doing on that day as have never had any police involvement in my life.
Could I ask what your person’s bail restrictions were and how long it took for you to get SS to put the plans in place so that he could have supervised contact?
It’s helpful to know that RUI is a bit better restrictions wise. It baffles me how RUI has no restrictions yet they’re likely to go on the sex offenders register if charged. I don’t understand how that works, if they’re considered a risk once sentenced surely they’re considered a risk whilst RUI too?!?!
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with the wait. It is such a long wait, but I suppose your life is relatively normal until they decide what they’re going to do? And maybe it’s harsh of me but the way I see it is, that’s his problem, the worry over charge/sentencing? Appreciate it has effect on us too but even if he gets a custodial it’s likely to be less time than they’ve been on bail for and we managed/are managing it , so can do it again!
Hope I haven’t misunderstood anything re this xx
Distressed and pregnant - they’ve put us on a child in need and are starting to assess me as protective carer next week but that doesn’t finish until mid February! All SS have said is that he can have contact via FaceTime which is not contact in my eyes - she’s also 14 months old so it just doesn’t work and she gets upset that she can touch him.
They are providing no timelines whatsoever, I’ve asked a million times. They say they can’t even start the risk assessment on my person until the investigation is done - which takes years!!! I’m so confused.
I will have a look at the local authority website, thanks! I may drop you a message actually as I’m unsure about this full disclosure thing. My husband has told me everything, I trust that he has but obviously if there is a formal route I need to go down re disclosure from his solicitor I’d be grateful to know how I should proceed? We tried having a call with his solicitor a few weeks ago and she said I could not be on the call as I was classed as a witness as police took a statement from me on the day he was arrested. Obviously I had no idea what I was doing on that day as have never had any police involvement in my life.
my OH was on bail for 6 months, and couldn't live at home or be unsupervised with any u18
SS in their plan reflected the bail conditions from the start and even this was the case while they did their assessment
I wrote a safety plan around month 4 with a plan for him to come home and live in our annex which is separated from the house by a locked door. It is basically a cold unheated room above the garage!!!!!
SS and the police met to agree that they were happy with this and in Dec they agreed that they were so he was moved to RUI with no official police conditions but the SS conditions that trump the "no conditions" is that we follow the safety plan I wrote which basically means no unsupervised contact while living next door.....
we have been on CIN plan since the start and I guess between Aug and Dec they were assessing whether I was protective parent or not.... and in July / Aug they were doing their assessment of both of us generally to find out his real issues and also my understanding on the offence..... during that investigation they checked ALL his medical records
SS in their plan reflected the bail conditions from the start and even this was the case while they did their assessment
I wrote a safety plan around month 4 with a plan for him to come home and live in our annex which is separated from the house by a locked door. It is basically a cold unheated room above the garage!!!!!
SS and the police met to agree that they were happy with this and in Dec they agreed that they were so he was moved to RUI with no official police conditions but the SS conditions that trump the "no conditions" is that we follow the safety plan I wrote which basically means no unsupervised contact while living next door.....
we have been on CIN plan since the start and I guess between Aug and Dec they were assessing whether I was protective parent or not.... and in July / Aug they were doing their assessment of both of us generally to find out his real issues and also my understanding on the offence..... during that investigation they checked ALL his medical records