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The final straw

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LostAndTorn

Member since
November 2023

72 posts

Posted Fri January 12, 2024 10:56pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon January 15, 2024 7:35pm

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 12:31amReport post

I'd say you have to do the right thing and give them to the police.

sorry , just seen that you have so well done x

Edited Sun January 14, 2024 11:37am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2554 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 7:48amReport post

(Personally) I would hand the papers in - like you say he needs help and it needs to be confronted.

i had to take steps that broke my heart in my sons case. His behaviour was progressing and without any doubt in my head I knew this HAD to stop whatever the consequences for him.

Extremely hard but don't feel guilty you are doing your duty and again (in my opinion) definitely forward this information.

love and strength sent.

Edited Sat January 13, 2024 7:51am

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1001 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 8:05amReport post

Oh lost, I'm so sorry. You absolutely need to report this discovery. His parents are obviously not ready to accept the facts that he needs help and is a real risk to children in his present state.

Sending you strength in abundance to get through this next step xxx

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

447 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 9:49amReport post

What a shock and what an awful dilemma but you probably know what you need to do out of a duty of care to children and to your husband too as he clearly needs help.

Doing this whilst knowing how it will upset his parents is an extra dilemma and I wish you courage and strength as you try to help them come to terms with you doing the right thing.

They clearly are hanging onto the hope that maybe things aren't all that bad, grabbing at straws (haven't many of us been there?!) and you have no guarantees that they will come to accept what you have decided to do - is one of them easier to talk to than the other, more receptive etc, as perhaps having a conversation just with them could be a better option as you explain why you haven't agreed with their advice......

This really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it. Big hug sent.

LostAndTorn

Member since
November 2023

72 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 1:17pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon January 15, 2024 7:36pm

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1001 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 1:43pmReport post

I'm pleased that you have already contacted the police, it is without a doubt the right thing to do.
As for not being supportive, I think that's a completely ridiculous and unfair statement. I wonder whether they grasp the severity of what he has done. I know it's hard for all involved to suddenly find ourselves in this situation but asking you to withhold information from the police isn't supporting him at all.
If he isn't rearrested and held on remand then it would be wise to consider what options are available in terms of your living arrangements because living together right now doesn't seem like it's in your best interests xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2554 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 2:03pmReport post

Well done Lost, you've been very brave and 100% done the right thing......

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

274 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 2:12pmReport post

Time to put yourself first. I'm totally with you trying to support our OH's but we can only go so far and have to remember our own wellbeing too . Sending you strength and support xx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 2:27pmReport post

Oh Lost, how awful for you and how brave you've been. I really hope your person now gets the help he needs and that you get support for the trauma you are going through. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 2:41pmReport post

Well done, Lost, and I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this.

Xx

CornishTea

Member since
August 2019

91 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 5:07pmReport post

Hi,



How absolutely awful and what a dilemma to be in. You have absolutely done the right thing, he clearly needs help.

As for the accusation that you are not being supportive, supportive doesn't mean you have to enable or condone the behaviour. I can imagine his parents are devastated by it all but hiding the truth won't help.

Hope you are ok xx

LostAndTorn

Member since
November 2023

72 posts

Posted Sat January 13, 2024 5:20pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon January 15, 2024 7:36pm