Falling apart
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Just looking for support really. The knock happened 4 months ago and I’ve initiated divorce, evicted him from the house and gone back to work. It’s a new job that I started only just before it happened..the timings could not be worse. I feel things are all piling on top of me stress wise .. the uncertainty of whether he will be jailed, the financial worry of how I will cope financially on one income, the exhaustion of looking after four kids on my own, the fear of the media, the knowledge that I’m underperforming at work and that I’m heading for a nervous breakdown but can’t reduce my house or take time off because we are financially dependent on me now. It’s all hit me in one big emotional wave and I feel desperate and overwhelmed and tearful all the time.
I am on antidepressants and diazepam for anxiety and this helps but I feel that I’m being a rubbish mum to my kids as I wallow in my own unhappiness. I am failing at my new job and the stress of this is just adding to the fear and stress. I’m not sure what to do.. I guess nothing.. nothing can help. I feel desperate and lonely and hopeless knowing that I’ll never meet anyone again whilst I have full custody of all my kids some of whom have special needs. I look around at happy couples and families and just feel profoundly sad and lonely. There is no one to share the burden and it’s all on me. I know there is no choice to keep going but I feel I’m heading for a major breakdown.
Sorry.. just needed to reach out to others who have been through this. It’s a lonely road.
I am on antidepressants and diazepam for anxiety and this helps but I feel that I’m being a rubbish mum to my kids as I wallow in my own unhappiness. I am failing at my new job and the stress of this is just adding to the fear and stress. I’m not sure what to do.. I guess nothing.. nothing can help. I feel desperate and lonely and hopeless knowing that I’ll never meet anyone again whilst I have full custody of all my kids some of whom have special needs. I look around at happy couples and families and just feel profoundly sad and lonely. There is no one to share the burden and it’s all on me. I know there is no choice to keep going but I feel I’m heading for a major breakdown.
Sorry.. just needed to reach out to others who have been through this. It’s a lonely road.
Hi S&S, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. We’re similar in our timescales and it sounds like you’re doing far better than you’re giving yourself credit for. Clearly you’re looking out for your children. Work is tough, I know - I ended up leaving my last role for a combination of factors which all came from this s*** storm.
Keep going. You can do this. Just go one day at a time. Have you spoken to your dr? Or the helpline? And forget about meeting anyone else for now - look after you. When the time is right, and if you’re ready, you’ll meet someone. And if he can’t handle your kids, he’s not the one for you! Xx
Keep going. You can do this. Just go one day at a time. Have you spoken to your dr? Or the helpline? And forget about meeting anyone else for now - look after you. When the time is right, and if you’re ready, you’ll meet someone. And if he can’t handle your kids, he’s not the one for you! Xx
Hi S&S, I think you need to cut yourself some slack here. You've made a lot of big changes in a very short time and you're still hanging in there. Don't look too far ahead and try to live in the moment and tackle one thing at a time, and get through one day at a time. Are you getting any help from family or friends? Make use of the helpline if you don't already... everyone I've spoken to so far has really helped me to get some perspective. And lots of lovely supportive people on here who really do know how you feel.
Be kind to yourself, I hope things improve for you soon xx
Be kind to yourself, I hope things improve for you soon xx
Hi S&S
Would you be able to speak to your boss at work, they may surprise you and be supportive and you probably aren't doing as badly as you think you are at work but they will be able to help you.
I agree that seeing your GP again would be a good move, they can give you so much support.
I'm sure your children are thriving and well looked after, I know it's hard but try not to give yourself a hard time. Remember none of this is your fault you are a victim in all of this.
Take care and try and do something just for you xx
Would you be able to speak to your boss at work, they may surprise you and be supportive and you probably aren't doing as badly as you think you are at work but they will be able to help you.
I agree that seeing your GP again would be a good move, they can give you so much support.
I'm sure your children are thriving and well looked after, I know it's hard but try not to give yourself a hard time. Remember none of this is your fault you are a victim in all of this.
Take care and try and do something just for you xx
My story isn’t quite the same I just need advice. Me and my partner split up 2 weeks ago. I had a feeling he had been cheating on him so logged into his email accounts and one of them gmail I could see his google search history, I was totally shocked, a wide variety of porn. Live chat sites, searches for sex holidays, exploring other escort and prostitution sites as well as guaranteed hook up sites. To say I was mortified and shocked was an understatement but then I seen he had been looking at a lot of these children. I have been told to report him. I don’t want to see him go to jail I feel disgusted with him but I think I still love him please give me advice as I am totally gutted and disgusted with what he has been looking at
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Hi Mollie, sounds like a tough time for you and I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in such a quandary. Definitely ring the helpline. I’d suggest maybe not putting search terms in the notes on here, and I’d also encourage anyone reading not to search for any of the terms. We don’t need to find ourselves in more hot water! Xx
Hi,
I dont know if this is the right thread. I only found out about my brother's offence on saturday. He was arrested in December last year. He lives at home with my mom, shes been having to deal with this on her own for all those months. She didn't tell anyone because she wanted to shield her other children.from the backlash. Well now it was in the paper, everyone knows. Her neighbour's, family ex friends etc. Shes getting threats daily and the police say they cant do anything about threats. It's hard for her and shes falling apart. Hes still living there. She is so lost and scared, she wont leave the house in daylight, she shops in the middle of the night etc. Is there some one she can talk to? Is there a specialist councillor she can speak with? I really wish I could help her. Shes been through too much in the last four years. My father died of cancer and since then things have been going from bad to worse for her.
I dont know if this is the right thread. I only found out about my brother's offence on saturday. He was arrested in December last year. He lives at home with my mom, shes been having to deal with this on her own for all those months. She didn't tell anyone because she wanted to shield her other children.from the backlash. Well now it was in the paper, everyone knows. Her neighbour's, family ex friends etc. Shes getting threats daily and the police say they cant do anything about threats. It's hard for her and shes falling apart. Hes still living there. She is so lost and scared, she wont leave the house in daylight, she shops in the middle of the night etc. Is there some one she can talk to? Is there a specialist councillor she can speak with? I really wish I could help her. Shes been through too much in the last four years. My father died of cancer and since then things have been going from bad to worse for her.
Yeah,
She will move after the sentencing. Hopefully it will help, but shes isolated. The rest of the family apart from me have turned their backs on her. I work 12 hour shifts but intry to be there as much as I can. I will encourage her to call. Thank you.
She will move after the sentencing. Hopefully it will help, but shes isolated. The rest of the family apart from me have turned their backs on her. I work 12 hour shifts but intry to be there as much as I can. I will encourage her to call. Thank you.
Oh Mitch, what a nightmare, your poor mum. Nobody should have to go through this, if only more people understood how this affects the innocent family. I am glad she has you now to help her through. Make sure she makes contact with the helpline, they are fantastic. You should call them too as they have so much advice and would also know where you stand as far as the police and threats.
Keep strong for your mum she sounds like she has been through too much. Make sure she sees her Dr. Take care. Xx
Keep strong for your mum she sounds like she has been through too much. Make sure she sees her Dr. Take care. Xx