Supervised contact not working
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Hi I would love some advice. So I decided to end it with my person and since the start he has been having supervised contact which is done through his family. I have spoke to him number of times about making sure he answers the phone to me and texts me back when he as her as it makes me anxious. So last night I couldn't get in touch with him again. I feel like the arrangement is not working and he is the one telling me he can't speak to me cause it causes him panics. He is so selfish in this anf at no point as he thought about me in the process. I don't know what to do as I'm always seen as the bad one. I don't know how that works. He loves his daughter and she loves him but I also cannot be sat here anxiety ridden at what he is doing, who is supervising etc. any advice would be great!
Hi,
I have a few questions;
is contact supervised by a number of his family members?
Have they all been signed off by ss?
Do they collect your daughter from you?
What is your relationship like with family members who can supervise? Do you trust them? Can you phone whoever is supervising rather than your ex whilst contact is happening?
If it was me I'd be asking any questions prior to contact happening, who is supervising? Do you have any plans for the time together? Collection and drop off times etc. It may be helpful for you to ask for a plan for the next few contacts so you know well in advance and also stipulate that if for any reason it changes he needs to notify you.
In terms of him not answering because it makes him panic, I'm sorry but I'd be letting him know that as the adult who put you all in this situation he will have to just suck it up.
I think improved communication prior to contact and building up trust with his family members who are supervising might help you to manage anxiety whilst he has her. Failing that you could go through mediation or back to ss who may be able to arrange a contact centre if this would help you xxx
I have a few questions;
is contact supervised by a number of his family members?
Have they all been signed off by ss?
Do they collect your daughter from you?
What is your relationship like with family members who can supervise? Do you trust them? Can you phone whoever is supervising rather than your ex whilst contact is happening?
If it was me I'd be asking any questions prior to contact happening, who is supervising? Do you have any plans for the time together? Collection and drop off times etc. It may be helpful for you to ask for a plan for the next few contacts so you know well in advance and also stipulate that if for any reason it changes he needs to notify you.
In terms of him not answering because it makes him panic, I'm sorry but I'd be letting him know that as the adult who put you all in this situation he will have to just suck it up.
I think improved communication prior to contact and building up trust with his family members who are supervising might help you to manage anxiety whilst he has her. Failing that you could go through mediation or back to ss who may be able to arrange a contact centre if this would help you xxx