Family and Friends Forum

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Sat August 17, 2019 9:42pmReport post

Almost 4 weeks in and I can't stop the emotion. My partner's bail condition is to stay away and not contact me. I've heard nothing since the morning before the knock. I had a truly awful day that day which he knew about. I drove to his work for a hug. But he wasn't there. I now know he had been arrested. It's so unfair. Everyone else can still see him. I didn't commit the crime. He's not allowed near my kids ATM but why can't I see him

Speak to him. Find out what's going on.

I'm sorry for the non positive, self indulgent, wallowing message but my kids are away. I'm on my own because nobody knows. And I'm lying in bed crying for everything I've lost. Yes me. I feel selfish, I feel torn. I just want to speak to him. He was my other half.

Hugs to all. A despondent P.

Dottie

Member since
June 2019

236 posts

Posted Sat August 17, 2019 11:02pmReport post

Ah I'm sorry your feeling so alone tonight. It must be so hard not to be able to see him even though you want to. It must feel like a death. Like he went to work and never came home. When you think of it like that 4 weeks is no time. It will take time to heal and find a new normal.

It's also normal to feel these almighty emotion swings so don't apologise, we all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes. I think everyone on this forum has the right to feel like that from time to time in the circumstances.

I hope you can get some sleep and feel better tomorrow. Sending a big and love your way. Xx

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Sat August 17, 2019 11:46pmReport post

Thank you Lee and Dottie,

Lee, he's not the Father of my kids and we didn't live together. I've been told quite categorically he can have no contact with me or my kids. The children's father also wouldn't allow it and would go for custody if so.

So he can't break his bail conditions and I can't risk losing my kids.

I'm also unsure what he's done exactly and no one can tell me because it's an active investigation. I've yet to hear his side or anything. It looks like I won't know until he goes to court and judging by the timeframes on here that could be years away.

I'm mourning the end of our relationship, suddenly and unexpectedly and thinking back to the good days I guess. I assume it's part of the process.

I don't really have support as I haven't told anyone. My friends are his etc.

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Sat August 17, 2019 11:50pmReport post

Sorry I pressed reply too soon.

I'm just telling myself he must have done something to be arrested. I believe, I think it's too do with a dodgy link. But I know, no more. At least I can't remember more. It's been a bit if a blur since the knock and I suppose with the kids away it's finally catching up with me.

Thank you both for replying. Your words mean so much.

I hope your both ok and dealing with your situation s as best as you can.

Hugs back. To you both.

Xx

Helen444

Member since
March 2019

12 posts

Posted Sun August 18, 2019 9:10amReport post

I am in same situation has you part from my ex 2nd time I have children to him. 1st time allowed supervised contact 2nd time he was not allowed contact me or his children. 2nd time found out what he did by newspaper. I felt like grieving has we together for long time. I am year into this dose get better but still have bad days

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Sun August 18, 2019 10:33amReport post

So sorry to hear you've been through this twice Helen!

I actually asked for no contact when the police came and told me during the knock. I was so shocked and had no idea if there was contact with my daughter at that stage. It appears not as far as police and SS are aware.

Definitely a grieving process. I booked a holiday for myself and my kids for next Summer. It'll be a struggle to pay, however, we desperately need it.

Hugs to you xxx

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Sat August 24, 2019 10:59pmReport post

Hi Poster.

It's a week later and I'm feeling good. I know it's up and down but I'm okay at the moment. It's not so painful to think about and I'm able to open up to a few more people. I'm not missing him as much either but enjoying my new free time.

This is certainly a process. I hope your all doing okay. Sad to read the stories of new members and still can't believe that was me almost 5 weeks ago.

I'm not lonely today. I've had a long day in the gym and pool, and now reading my book in bed. Happily.

Hugs xxx

Edited by moderator Wed July 8, 2020 4:00pm