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Suspended from his job

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Elliott

Member since
December 2023

44 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 9:17amReport post

Morning all, so yesterday my son was suspended from his job. Investigation meeting Monday when no doubt he will be fired. He is a young man in his early 20's and I feel desperately sorry for him - don't get me wrong I absolutely do not condone what he has done (allegedly viewed iioc) but this does not define who he is in my eyes. Will he ever get a job ? Should he wait until this is all over before even applying for employment? We have been told there is a delay in examining devices which could take months before an outcome. He is waiting for an interview with LFF to engage on their programme and has an appointment with a therapist in a few weeks in which he can start to unpick how he got to this point. It's so terribly hard, it lives in a box in my mind and some days that box gets opened and raises its ugly head again. We will never be the same again xx not really sure of a response but sometimes better to get my thoughts out xx love and strength to all going through this journey x

Edited Sat January 20, 2024 9:19am

S1lentScream

Member since
April 2023

24 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 10:12amReport post

My heart goes out to you and your son.

My son initially did some voluntary work and did short-term temporary work until 2nd/voluntary interview after devices came back.

The police (before 2nd interview/voluntary) did not have objections to this and he was still ok to attend his course at college.

I would like to think that it demonstratedthat he has kept himself busy and contributing to society.

Xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 11:03amReport post

Elliott

I am so sorry for both you and your son but please make sure you look after yourselves

Will they give him the option to resigne rather than been dismissed? Could be worth asking xx

Elliott

Member since
December 2023

44 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 11:16amReport post

Thank you - I think it might be worth asking whether he can resign rather than be dismissed - I hadn't thought of that x

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

274 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 11:36amReport post

I think that's a good idea. My OH waited for two months on suspension for work investigations to take place. They then sacked him with immediate effect and that was that. He said he wishes he had resigned. Hindsight eh! Xx

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 12:55pmReport post

I would suggest he resigns with immediate effect, as they have to then give him some kind of reference.

My husband was fired and found work within 3 weeks. Look for warehouse work or similar where it's over 17s only, avoid agencies where you have to disclose.

I wouldn't suggest waiting until it's all over as like you say this could take months and months, and then he will have a big gap on his CV that will be hard to explain

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

363 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 1:04pmReport post

I am so sorry you and your son find yourself in this position. Just a thought you could try ringing the charity Unlock on Monday or look at their website for some guidance and advice on employment, being dismissed and resigning. what does his employment contract state around being investigated or charged?

I am thinking of you and your son.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2554 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 2:09pmReport post

Feel for you on this one Elliot. When my son's job ended I was absolutely gutted.

I was also eased out my job. Horrible time, understand your devastation, it's heartbreaking.....

Edited Sat January 20, 2024 2:19pm

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 3:37pmReport post

Elliot please feel free to message me as I have also been in this situation with my adult son.

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 5:49pmReport post

Hi Elliott, my son went through the same thing. He was suspended from work and then dismissed. His workplace said that they would still give him a reference as they had no concerns with his work. In my sons case I'm not sure if he would have been any better off if he had resigned. He hasn't yet found a job but is is actively looking so it's only a matter of time before someone gives him an opportunity. Unfortunately due to where we live there are not a lot of job opportunities and it would cost a lot of money to travel further away.

EBP

Member since
September 2021

198 posts

Posted Sat January 20, 2024 10:55pmReport post

Hi Elliot

My son chose to resign,once his colleagues found out & refused to work with him. He initially cited bullying & ostracising. However the company asked him to delete that reason & he was given 5 weeks garden leave. This week will be his last monthly pay.

These horrible offences are not grounds for being sacked unless they are working with children or it can be proved they are bringing the name of the company into ill repute.

I don't know what his future job prospects will be as he will now have to declare criminal convictions when applying. He has apprenticeship qualifications but struggled with academic work due to dyslexia & processing difficulties.

Elliott

Member since
December 2023

44 posts

Posted Mon January 22, 2024 4:39pmReport post

Investigation meeting lasted most of the day - result - suspended without pay until police investigation concluded - how longs a piece of string ? Will check in weekly with him re mental health - that's ok then. Considering resigning and asking about a reference. It's been a long day for my boy - he went on his own and chose not to have a witness - again whilst I don't condone what he has allegedly done - I feel both sorry for him but proud he faced this alone - once again we are realising the ramifications are huge x

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Mon January 22, 2024 7:21pmReport post

Oh Elliott, I really feel for you and your son. It's so difficult watching them deal with the fallout of their actions and knowing how much they're hurting. I seem to feel all my sons hurt and sadness with him. I would rather suffer myself than watch someone I love suffer but we can't take it away from them we can only walk with them, let them know how much we love them and offer them our support. I'm thinking of you both and sending you a big virtual hug.