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How do you come to terms with it

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Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Tue October 23, 2018 7:43amReport post

I feel so sad and so disappointed. I had want to remain a family but im now seeing that may not be posdible. What he did is so far removed from the person i know and love. But we have small kids, i now see that i cannot have my perfect family life back, he was an amazing husband and father, how do you come to terms with the loss. I will never cut him out of our lives but i dont think i can have my life back. I so wish it could all be ok. How do you deal with losd when you havent really lost them.

Edited by moderator Wed February 6, 2019 10:28am

Krissie

Member since
October 2018

57 posts

Posted Wed October 24, 2018 3:25pmReport post

maria the honest answer is you take it day by day. Some days will be harder but some easier. I found that before I made a decision on what I wanted it I found it harder but now each day gets slightly easier. Its been 7 months and I filed for divorce last month. I find the 1sts still hard but each day the loss seems a little less. It is a grieving process for what you had and what you were planning. Im lucky my daughter is so young she hasnt felt it so that makes it a little easier for me

Orion

Member since
September 2018

2 posts

Posted Fri October 26, 2018 7:42amReport post

Poster

Your post sums everything up perfectly. We are all grieving and it will take time.

There is so much pressure on us, from inside and out, to make decisions.

Stay strong everyone

L

Edited by moderator Wed July 8, 2020 6:15pm

Scooby

Member since
October 2018

13 posts

Posted Fri October 26, 2018 12:38pmReport post

I don’t know the answer, I’m still battling with it, I went to probation with him yesterday and she said that he is not defined by the offence, it’s something bad he did but it is not who he is. It’s hard to see the man I thought he was (and he was a good man, good husband and father) in some ways it’s easier for me as my kids are older now so social services are minimally involved (my youngest is 17) and he’s never harmed them (ss did ask them).



He was always my support and I now can turn to him for that, that it one of the most difficult things. The person I thought would be the one to protect me and my kids forever is the person who hurt us most. I’m taking one day at a time and one problem at a time and trying to rebuild a life



look after yourself and be kind to yourself xx