Family and Friends Forum

I've had Yot involved with one of my children not for iioc but for malicious communications. They bullied another child online. They were 14 at the time and the Yot worker was amazing! They helped my child turn their life around.

A member of our family spent a year with the YOT whenhe was 16 years old as he received a one year referral order at youth court for having a similar number of images as your stepson. He did similar work with the YOT as the young person Inform course (that Stop it now run) some reparation work in the community and volunteering. He did this alongside his studies at school.

Have the police referred your stepson to YOT for them to help make a charging decision( I beleive this happens sometimes) or have the police decided not to charge?

The young person in our family now has a criminal record as the youth referral order will always show on enhanced DBS checks.

For us, the YOT helped our young person understand why they had gone down the wrong path and helped him move on with his life.

I hope this helps you in some way.

It maybe of some comfort to you that in the youth criminal system it is very much looking at the young person first and the crime second. All the work carried out by the YOT will have a reparation and restorative approach to it.

It sounds like it is possible that a decision to charge or not (by the police) has not been finalised yet? They may be seeking the advise/thoughts from the YOT?

It may also be comfort that if your stepson does go to Youth Court he will remain anonymous in regards to press coverage as he is under 18 years of age.

You could have a look at 'Just for Kids Law' website as this may also be of use to you.

Hi Beyonce

I feel your stepson is lucky to have you as you trying to support him through this. From what you say it is quite possible that he is neurodiverse and hopefully through this journey it will be something that can be explored. The important thing is that your step-son begins to understand himself more, with the right support, so that he becomes fully aware how he ended up down this path and be supported to move forward with his young adult life.

As a family have you talked about or looked at the Young Person's inform course that Stop It Now run? the young person in our family did this course and it made a huge positive impact on their wellbeing and understanding why it has all happened. To be honest it was good foundations for him to do it before he worked with the YOT. It could be something you may consider, if your stepson wants to engage in it.

Just a thought have you spoke to the helpline? If you haven't you may find it beneficial to discuss the situation with them.

I hope this helps and I am thinking of you.

Hi again

I know you are probably doing this but as you say you are mentally dipping remember to take good care of yourself and definitely take the time to look at your wellbeing too. You need to do what is good for you too, which may mean stepping back for a short while. This is a long journey a bit like a marathon and sometimes we can hit the wall, as we are only human.

You are doing a brilliant job and I feel everyone on this forum can relate to the times when we had our mental dips. I feel the 'unknown' takes its toll on are mental wellbeing and you are experiencing that at the moment as there is still no clarity on what the next stage is for your step-son.

Sending you caring thoughts and remember to also do what is right for you in this moment.