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Tips for getting hubby home

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Bub84

Member since
January 2024

113 posts

Posted Sun January 28, 2024 2:19pmReport post

Does anyone have any tips on getting hubby home whilst still on bail?

Social service have said he is low risk to our 2 boys. Our boys are good at talking if there are ever any problems but they really miss having dad living with us. Hubby is allowed home during the day just not over night because apparently I can't safeguard when I'm asleep. We have a child in need plan in place with very light involvement meaning we just have a meeting every 4 weeks.

I see on here people managing to get their partner home so just wondering what steps I can take to make this happen.

Devils06

Member since
June 2023

29 posts

Posted Mon January 29, 2024 9:27pmReport post

Hello, My oh was never made to leave, I'm not sure if it was because of the Job I had and had training in safeguarding or because when SS came out I had a plan already in place.

I just said that he wouldn't be left in house on own and couldn't go in bedrooms without me or do bathtime on own, they seemed happy and left him at home.

I've noticed that different areas SS do thing differently, which doesn't seem right as should all be singing from same page. Sorry I couldn't help but thought I would reply xxxx

Bub84

Member since
January 2024

113 posts

Posted Mon January 29, 2024 9:59pmReport post

Thank you for your reply. We have made thoughts and worry boxes for our boys and literally everything they post in the box is about wanting their daddy home so me and hubby are going to take the things they posted in their boxes to the next bail meeting and I'm also planning to write a safety plan but all those things you just stated were rules that were already in place in our house anyway before this even happened. I have always been the one to do bath time and personal care and we have always had the rule of everyone has to knock and wait for a reply before entering bedroom etc. The only rule we didn't have obviously was leaving dad alone with kids in the house but I know at the moment that is a new rule we will have to add.

Scaredmumof3

Member since
July 2023

100 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 9:35amReport post

I wrote a safety plan to get my husband home and he sleeps in the spare room (which can be locked and still be safe for him to get out as it is above our garage). This way I can safeguard overnight..... the other options I have seen is people sleeping in the same room as their children.

The safety plan goes through all the detail of when the room can be locked / unlocked ie once the kids have left to go to school I unlock the room. We also have slightly different plans during the school holidays but it works as mostly he goes to office rather than working from home.

So overall I am still supervising all the time any contact while he lives here.

Bub84

Member since
January 2024

113 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 4:56pmReport post

I'm currently in the process of completing a safeguarding children course and after I get that certificate I will write a safety plan to send along with my children's thoughts on wanting dad home because it's really affecting their mental health too and then hopefully the police will change the bail condition and allow him to be home over night too.