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Hi everyone. I've joined the boat that none of us want to be in and have found myself here. I'm not coping at all. OH is going to have the Crown Court sentencing on Monday and I know from what the officials have said and from some of the posts on here that there is a good chance they won't be coming home.
I think I found it easier to ignore the whole thing when there were months of waiting around for the investigation to be completed and now it all feels very real.
OH's family is supporting them but I can't talk to mine because they will judge before I can say anything properly and because I live with my family, I can't take phone calls from the helpline to try work through my thoughts and feelings. I've used the chat once and whilst the advisor was great, it didn't really make me feel better. Plus the opening times are usually when I'm at work. I can't discuss with my GP either. I don't have any friends either so there's no kind of outlet for me other than any official channels.
Have any of you managed to find good outlets to help or some an actual therapy that is along the lines of Stop It Now so there is no judgement before it even starts?
I think I found it easier to ignore the whole thing when there were months of waiting around for the investigation to be completed and now it all feels very real.
OH's family is supporting them but I can't talk to mine because they will judge before I can say anything properly and because I live with my family, I can't take phone calls from the helpline to try work through my thoughts and feelings. I've used the chat once and whilst the advisor was great, it didn't really make me feel better. Plus the opening times are usually when I'm at work. I can't discuss with my GP either. I don't have any friends either so there's no kind of outlet for me other than any official channels.
Have any of you managed to find good outlets to help or some an actual therapy that is along the lines of Stop It Now so there is no judgement before it even starts?
Stop so can refer you for therapy which you have to pay for but they are specialists.
there is also circles south east and circles south west which can refer you to therapy.
there is no good reason not to talk to your GP; they have to be confidential with patients and can refer you to NHS talking therapy.
There is also
https://www.dandeliontransformation.com/
which was set up by a woman who has experienced the knock
x
there is also circles south east and circles south west which can refer you to therapy.
there is no good reason not to talk to your GP; they have to be confidential with patients and can refer you to NHS talking therapy.
There is also
https://www.dandeliontransformation.com/
which was set up by a woman who has experienced the knock
x
Hi Lottie,
I'm sorry you feel isolated and that your circumstances do not allow you to reach out.
Outside of actual therapy, I find this forum really helpful as I know I am not alone. There is a private message function now, and that enables sone of us to build better friendships. I know you mentioned privacy is an issue, but the helpline really is amazing. The people on the other side do not judge. If you could even walk some of your commute and be on the phone you can benefit from it.
I know waiting for devices is too long, and for some of us it is painfully long and some rather comfortablly long, but a court date is inevitable and sooner it is dealth with, sooner you can heal and move forward. I can't wait for all that's happening to my family to be something that happened in the past, and we dealt with and moved on. I hope your loved one recieves a fair judge. Take one day at a time.
I'm sorry you feel isolated and that your circumstances do not allow you to reach out.
Outside of actual therapy, I find this forum really helpful as I know I am not alone. There is a private message function now, and that enables sone of us to build better friendships. I know you mentioned privacy is an issue, but the helpline really is amazing. The people on the other side do not judge. If you could even walk some of your commute and be on the phone you can benefit from it.
I know waiting for devices is too long, and for some of us it is painfully long and some rather comfortablly long, but a court date is inevitable and sooner it is dealth with, sooner you can heal and move forward. I can't wait for all that's happening to my family to be something that happened in the past, and we dealt with and moved on. I hope your loved one recieves a fair judge. Take one day at a time.
Hi Flower,
Thank you for your message. I'll see if I can contact the helpline at some point.
I hope you haven't got much longer to wait before the nightmare is over.
Best wishes,
Lottie
Thank you for your message. I'll see if I can contact the helpline at some point.
I hope you haven't got much longer to wait before the nightmare is over.
Best wishes,
Lottie
Hi K4,
Thanks for the links, I'll have a look at Stop So and see what they can offer but if in doubt, I'll see what Circles can do. I have done the Talking Therapies before and that's a self refer, which I might do again anyway for my own benefit. There are personal reasons for not speaking to GP but in my experience, even though they are supposed to be confidential, loose lips sink ships so I'm not going to risk that. But thank you for the advice.
Best wishes,
Lottie
Thanks for the links, I'll have a look at Stop So and see what they can offer but if in doubt, I'll see what Circles can do. I have done the Talking Therapies before and that's a self refer, which I might do again anyway for my own benefit. There are personal reasons for not speaking to GP but in my experience, even though they are supposed to be confidential, loose lips sink ships so I'm not going to risk that. But thank you for the advice.
Best wishes,
Lottie
@K4 that dandelion website is very good. I read all her story and it really resonated with me. Thank you for the recommendation
Oh I'm so glad it helped! Thinking of you lots xx
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I did counselling through my employer. It was free and completely confidential