Family and Friends Forum

Lotti3

Member since
January 2024

3 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 12:55pmReport post

Hi everyone. I've joined the boat that none of us want to be in and have found myself here. I'm not coping at all. OH is going to have the Crown Court sentencing on Monday and I know from what the officials have said and from some of the posts on here that there is a good chance they won't be coming home.

I think I found it easier to ignore the whole thing when there were months of waiting around for the investigation to be completed and now it all feels very real.

OH's family is supporting them but I can't talk to mine because they will judge before I can say anything properly and because I live with my family, I can't take phone calls from the helpline to try work through my thoughts and feelings. I've used the chat once and whilst the advisor was great, it didn't really make me feel better. Plus the opening times are usually when I'm at work. I can't discuss with my GP either. I don't have any friends either so there's no kind of outlet for me other than any official channels.

Have any of you managed to find good outlets to help or some an actual therapy that is along the lines of Stop It Now so there is no judgement before it even starts?

Edited Tue January 30, 2024 2:30pm

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 5:00pmReport post

Stop so can refer you for therapy which you have to pay for but they are specialists.



there is also circles south east and circles south west which can refer you to therapy.



there is no good reason not to talk to your GP; they have to be confidential with patients and can refer you to NHS talking therapy.

There is also



https://www.dandeliontransformation.com/



which was set up by a woman who has experienced the knock



x

Flower

Member since
February 2023

104 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 5:01pmReport post

Hi Lottie,

I'm sorry you feel isolated and that your circumstances do not allow you to reach out.
Outside of actual therapy, I find this forum really helpful as I know I am not alone. There is a private message function now, and that enables sone of us to build better friendships. I know you mentioned privacy is an issue, but the helpline really is amazing. The people on the other side do not judge. If you could even walk some of your commute and be on the phone you can benefit from it.
I know waiting for devices is too long, and for some of us it is painfully long and some rather comfortablly long, but a court date is inevitable and sooner it is dealth with, sooner you can heal and move forward. I can't wait for all that's happening to my family to be something that happened in the past, and we dealt with and moved on. I hope your loved one recieves a fair judge. Take one day at a time.

Lotti3

Member since
January 2024

3 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 7:05pmReport post

Hi Flower,

Thank you for your message. I'll see if I can contact the helpline at some point.

I hope you haven't got much longer to wait before the nightmare is over.

Best wishes,

Lottie

Lotti3

Member since
January 2024

3 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 7:09pmReport post

Hi K4,



Thanks for the links, I'll have a look at Stop So and see what they can offer but if in doubt, I'll see what Circles can do. I have done the Talking Therapies before and that's a self refer, which I might do again anyway for my own benefit. There are personal reasons for not speaking to GP but in my experience, even though they are supposed to be confidential, loose lips sink ships so I'm not going to risk that. But thank you for the advice.



Best wishes,

Lottie

Louise49

Member since
January 2021

494 posts

Posted Tue January 30, 2024 8:14pmReport post

@K4 that dandelion website is very good. I read all her story and it really resonated with me. Thank you for the recommendation

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Wed January 31, 2024 6:47amReport post

Oh I'm so glad it helped! Thinking of you lots xx

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

222 posts

Posted Wed January 31, 2024 7:45amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu February 22, 2024 8:46am

SH9231

Member since
August 2023

52 posts

Posted Wed January 31, 2024 3:29pmReport post

I did counselling through my employer. It was free and completely confidential