Help with getting contact
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I'm not sure if there's anything else I can do to help this along .
to cut a long story short husband arrested for iioc on device oct 23. He had supervised contact with children until 3 weeks ago when social worker has said that information shared by the police to what's on the device , contact has to be stopped completely until multidisciplinary meetings take place .
My children have not be harmed and have been questioned by social services and they are happy with their answers.
it's been over 3 weeks the children haven't been able to see or even speak to their dad who they were used to seeing every day for their whole life .
he spoke to the social worker today and she has said she will see about getting phone calls allowed . To me that's really not good enough I don't understand why they can't see him with supervision. I don't understand how it's in the children's best interest.
is there anything he can do to question this ? I was thinking private risk assessment ? Wasn't sure if they would consider this .
any advice would be appreciated
thanks
to cut a long story short husband arrested for iioc on device oct 23. He had supervised contact with children until 3 weeks ago when social worker has said that information shared by the police to what's on the device , contact has to be stopped completely until multidisciplinary meetings take place .
My children have not be harmed and have been questioned by social services and they are happy with their answers.
it's been over 3 weeks the children haven't been able to see or even speak to their dad who they were used to seeing every day for their whole life .
he spoke to the social worker today and she has said she will see about getting phone calls allowed . To me that's really not good enough I don't understand why they can't see him with supervision. I don't understand how it's in the children's best interest.
is there anything he can do to question this ? I was thinking private risk assessment ? Wasn't sure if they would consider this .
any advice would be appreciated
thanks
It seems most sw don't seem to think of the mental harm it can do to children, when my husband was arrested it took them 5 weeks to allow my children to even speak to him on FaceTime. That was only Because I kept asking because my eldest was going away to perform with her friends and I wanted her to be able to have him say good luck as he wasn't allowed to go.... she actually broke down crying after the performance because he wasn't there.
I had to keep asking my sw to speak to my partner as she always forgot and she'd leave it to last minute.
Will she tell you what they found on the phone? Or can you speak to the oic and ask them?
it's not ok to leave children without contact for so long it's so confusing for them they're innocent in this.
I had to keep asking my sw to speak to my partner as she always forgot and she'd leave it to last minute.
Will she tell you what they found on the phone? Or can you speak to the oic and ask them?
it's not ok to leave children without contact for so long it's so confusing for them they're innocent in this.
They didn't say what it was just that it was horrific what was on the phone.
His own children where not in any photos and have not been harmed in any way. In fact they are adored
His own children where not in any photos and have not been harmed in any way. In fact they are adored
Firstly do you know what content it is that made social services change their mind?
without full disclosure how can you make fully informed choices about their safety?
if you do have it you have to try to see this from a professionals point of view. They have to make judgement calls on the facts in front of them.
there's no grey areas on their paperwork. But I also had no facts as he would not speak he shut down now that in itself wasn't unusual it's how he coped.
So I had no choice Safety first too many unknowns then the child's emotional wellbeing. I was told at court I was the only wife that did not stay with him. And even though I chose differently because our case was very different from most in the early days I did consider a future with him in it. But I have 4 kids there was no way he would have been able to live here again. I considered door alarms on bedrooms. Sharing a room with the youngest. I considered everything but coming from a safeguarding background at work maybe made me view things the way I did. But I just felt he had done something hidden slyly without me knowing something so bad I didnt even know who he really was anymore. So for me I felt the risk out weighed everything else. I chose to put my childrens safety first I know it's had an impact on especially the youngest ones mental health but I also feel there is no right answers in any of this.
I do miss my husband the one I knew before planet knock. I wish ours was a case where he just got lost in a rabbit hole sadly it was not. And I don't know who he is anymore.
Whatever you choose I don't thing there's any absolute right or wrongs in this every family every case is different just try to step back and view it like you were outside advising a friend you love a lot that helped me process sometimes.
I hope this doesn't cause anyone any offence it's not intended all just sharing an alternative journey x
without full disclosure how can you make fully informed choices about their safety?
if you do have it you have to try to see this from a professionals point of view. They have to make judgement calls on the facts in front of them.
there's no grey areas on their paperwork. But I also had no facts as he would not speak he shut down now that in itself wasn't unusual it's how he coped.
So I had no choice Safety first too many unknowns then the child's emotional wellbeing. I was told at court I was the only wife that did not stay with him. And even though I chose differently because our case was very different from most in the early days I did consider a future with him in it. But I have 4 kids there was no way he would have been able to live here again. I considered door alarms on bedrooms. Sharing a room with the youngest. I considered everything but coming from a safeguarding background at work maybe made me view things the way I did. But I just felt he had done something hidden slyly without me knowing something so bad I didnt even know who he really was anymore. So for me I felt the risk out weighed everything else. I chose to put my childrens safety first I know it's had an impact on especially the youngest ones mental health but I also feel there is no right answers in any of this.
I do miss my husband the one I knew before planet knock. I wish ours was a case where he just got lost in a rabbit hole sadly it was not. And I don't know who he is anymore.
Whatever you choose I don't thing there's any absolute right or wrongs in this every family every case is different just try to step back and view it like you were outside advising a friend you love a lot that helped me process sometimes.
I hope this doesn't cause anyone any offence it's not intended all just sharing an alternative journey x
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