If you could understand x
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This journey x
My thoughts and only what I have learnt
The night before I set my alarm, had my shower, why is there a knock at the door, the delivery driver is way to early, my first thought, why else would I think it would be anything else, my furbaby is woken and now barking fast forward to 16 months RUI! My nerves are in threads, my son is suicidal every day , he is on remand, self harming, that absolutely broke my heart and his sisters , to see the scars and when you ask him why, he replies, you understand, my daughter was so distraught she couldn't even talk on the video call, she was in tears, I held it together not for me but for them both, this journey has led me through the endless journey to find strength, understanding and empathy and it has given me and my daughter and of course the HC the strength to keep going xx
My thoughts and only what I have learnt
The night before I set my alarm, had my shower, why is there a knock at the door, the delivery driver is way to early, my first thought, why else would I think it would be anything else, my furbaby is woken and now barking fast forward to 16 months RUI! My nerves are in threads, my son is suicidal every day , he is on remand, self harming, that absolutely broke my heart and his sisters , to see the scars and when you ask him why, he replies, you understand, my daughter was so distraught she couldn't even talk on the video call, she was in tears, I held it together not for me but for them both, this journey has led me through the endless journey to find strength, understanding and empathy and it has given me and my daughter and of course the HC the strength to keep going xx
Very close to tears but holding on to the fact that I'm not a bawling mess.
My morning was 6:15, a kiss goodbye and a hand on my recently emerged bump. We'd had the first scan the week before so it definitely wasn't from a big meal the night before.
I was working from home so I threw on some clothes and commuted downstairs for 8am. Took a coffee break around 10, played a good word on our scrabble like game and replied to his message of I hope your day goes well with my normal moaning about how everyone is incompetent and loads to sort before the end of the working week tomorrow.
10:40 was the knock on the door, two plain clothed police officers who knew my name and said you have children don't you? A thousand things going through my brain but they were upstairs, I had seen them on their usual trips downstairs for snacks. Then they mentioned his name and asked to come in. I thought he'd collapsed and died at work, why else would they be there?
Then they told me that he'd been arrested for a child sex offence, no other information at all. They searched my bedroom while I sat frozen on the bed offering them a cup of tea and trying to excuse my pile of dirty laundry next to the bed. They asked if he could be bailed to my address, erm absolutely not given the information or lack there of.
He was remanded for the remaining six months of my pregnancy, no watching my bump grow together or finding out we were having a girl at the second scan. Our daughter waited for him to be released to be born so the first time I saw him after that 6:15 kiss goodbye was when she was 9 days old and he came round with his parents to meet her.
Three and a half years ago and to be honest I barely think of that day but I have learned so much about myself and the world during this time that it almost feels like it happened to a completely different person. I value each of you on this forum, past and present and I hope that I can help others on this journey in some way xxx
My morning was 6:15, a kiss goodbye and a hand on my recently emerged bump. We'd had the first scan the week before so it definitely wasn't from a big meal the night before.
I was working from home so I threw on some clothes and commuted downstairs for 8am. Took a coffee break around 10, played a good word on our scrabble like game and replied to his message of I hope your day goes well with my normal moaning about how everyone is incompetent and loads to sort before the end of the working week tomorrow.
10:40 was the knock on the door, two plain clothed police officers who knew my name and said you have children don't you? A thousand things going through my brain but they were upstairs, I had seen them on their usual trips downstairs for snacks. Then they mentioned his name and asked to come in. I thought he'd collapsed and died at work, why else would they be there?
Then they told me that he'd been arrested for a child sex offence, no other information at all. They searched my bedroom while I sat frozen on the bed offering them a cup of tea and trying to excuse my pile of dirty laundry next to the bed. They asked if he could be bailed to my address, erm absolutely not given the information or lack there of.
He was remanded for the remaining six months of my pregnancy, no watching my bump grow together or finding out we were having a girl at the second scan. Our daughter waited for him to be released to be born so the first time I saw him after that 6:15 kiss goodbye was when she was 9 days old and he came round with his parents to meet her.
Three and a half years ago and to be honest I barely think of that day but I have learned so much about myself and the world during this time that it almost feels like it happened to a completely different person. I value each of you on this forum, past and present and I hope that I can help others on this journey in some way xxx
Distressed x
Thank you for sharing x as difficult as it is without our journeys how can we learn to cope
But we do, each and every day for you incredibly strong wives with children my heart aches, as a mum I think (I was going to say the decision) there is no decision for me as a mum x my heart knows , and that is what we do indeed have in common, empathy and understanding x
Thank you for sharing x as difficult as it is without our journeys how can we learn to cope
But we do, each and every day for you incredibly strong wives with children my heart aches, as a mum I think (I was going to say the decision) there is no decision for me as a mum x my heart knows , and that is what we do indeed have in common, empathy and understanding x
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Always by your side my dear friend xx
Thank you for sharing your most heartfelt journey xx
Thank you for sharing your most heartfelt journey xx
I decided to delete my earlier post - I write down my story then I realise it is an open forum and how careful I have to be!
The stages of this journey are truly heartbreaking and I'm sure nothing can compare with the pain you feel at the time your going through the various stages.
I feel proud as a group how we support each other during our darkest days. I'd have been lost without this forum.......
The stages of this journey are truly heartbreaking and I'm sure nothing can compare with the pain you feel at the time your going through the various stages.
I feel proud as a group how we support each other during our darkest days. I'd have been lost without this forum.......
5.10pm on a regular working day, was the time I received the heartbreaking and devastating news that my son had been arrested for a sexual offence.
Late that night my son was brought to his childhood home by plain clothed police as he was no longer able to go back to his own home. His world was shattered, my intelligent, empathetic, loving son, was now a broken man. I stood in the kitchen and held my 20 something year old son and told him I loved him.
He had been arrested for sexual communication with a child and following the advice of the duty solicitor admitted what he had done straight away. I was completely devastated and remained in a chronic state of anxiety and fear for the next 24 months.
An emergency appointment with a psychiatrist diagnosed him with low self esteem, an impulsive disorder and suicidal thoughts. He explained to the psychiatrist that his behaviour of on line sexual communication had started in his teenage years.
Gradually my fears came true one by one as my son’s marriage ended and he lost his home and job. But that’s not the end of the story.
22 months after the arrest he received a 2 year suspended sentence and 300 community hours. He has now completed his 300 hours, remains in psychotherapy out of choice, sees his children regularly and feels his self esteem is better than it’s been for a very long time. He remains living with my husband and myself and we provide regular supervised contact for him and his children. The journey we’ve been on has changed me. I now value more than ever before the life we have together, I appreciate family, friendship and kindness, I’ve grown to embrace the calm and relaxation that we can find in nature. I’ve gained strength and resilience and have learned that every person has a story.
Late that night my son was brought to his childhood home by plain clothed police as he was no longer able to go back to his own home. His world was shattered, my intelligent, empathetic, loving son, was now a broken man. I stood in the kitchen and held my 20 something year old son and told him I loved him.
He had been arrested for sexual communication with a child and following the advice of the duty solicitor admitted what he had done straight away. I was completely devastated and remained in a chronic state of anxiety and fear for the next 24 months.
An emergency appointment with a psychiatrist diagnosed him with low self esteem, an impulsive disorder and suicidal thoughts. He explained to the psychiatrist that his behaviour of on line sexual communication had started in his teenage years.
Gradually my fears came true one by one as my son’s marriage ended and he lost his home and job. But that’s not the end of the story.
22 months after the arrest he received a 2 year suspended sentence and 300 community hours. He has now completed his 300 hours, remains in psychotherapy out of choice, sees his children regularly and feels his self esteem is better than it’s been for a very long time. He remains living with my husband and myself and we provide regular supervised contact for him and his children. The journey we’ve been on has changed me. I now value more than ever before the life we have together, I appreciate family, friendship and kindness, I’ve grown to embrace the calm and relaxation that we can find in nature. I’ve gained strength and resilience and have learned that every person has a story.