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How do you do it ?

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Elliott

Member since
December 2023

44 posts

Posted Sun February 4, 2024 9:19amReport post

Good morning everyone,

I don't tend to post here very much but do take comfort in reading your various posts and the knowledge that this is a safe space, one in which everyone can relate to what I'm going through. Weekends are the worst for me, during the week I can talk to my supervisor and my job is relatively new so there is lots to learn - at the weekend there is no one I can talk to about what is happening - I have told none of my friends. Today is a hard day - yesterday my son was told that he wouldn't be going back to the police station at the 3 month stage. We did have an idea but this brings it all out of the box where I try to keep it in my mind again. He is obviously still suspended from work without pay. He is looking at courier work and has a meeting with a local company tomorrow. I try to take it day at a time but can't help sometimes thinking what will his future hold? He is making positive steps to join the LLF inform programme and had an interview on Thursday. He began one to one counselling on Friday to address his issues. He is making positive steps forward and whilst I hate what he has alledgly done I'm proud of these positive steps he is taking. Today I think I need a long walk along the beach and to try and put this back in its box . Thank you so much for all the support and love you all show on this forum. I know I'd be lost without it x happy Sunday x much love xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2554 posts

Posted Sun February 4, 2024 9:30amReport post

Hi Elliott - Bless you - it's all so damn hard this journey.

Go for that walk on the beach and blow the cobwebs off if only for a short while.

love and understanding sent xxxxx

Edited Sun February 4, 2024 9:33am

EBP

Member since
September 2021

198 posts

Posted Sun February 4, 2024 10:04amReport post

Hi Elliot

It is so hard to predict what is going to happen each week & the impact on us.

Our son is now living with us & is doing two long days of Community Service each week. He has a weekly meeting with Probation officer& has just made contact with a counsellor. We are waiting to agree to his SHPO this week, which does seem to have some heavy restrictions regarding visiting a house where an under 16 resides.

It is so hard to know where our support ends & his responsibility takes over.

Enjoy your walk .

I look forward to having some 'me ' time in Devon in a couple of weeks.

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Sun February 4, 2024 1:35pmReport post

Hi Elliott, I'm sorry you're finding today difficult, this really is such a tough, lonely journey. It's great that your son has taken positive steps forward and that you, rightly so are feeling proud of him. I remember when my son did the same and thinking that it marked the start of his recovery. On one hand I felt so sad that he had been struggling for so long in silence and was now going through what he had to go through. On the other hand I felt hopeful that the course and therapy was going to help him and it did. He started the course and it was like the light had come back on in his eyes. He realised he wasn't alone and he realised that there were people who understood how he had got to the place he found himself in.

I think as Mums we will always worry about what the future holds for our sons but in time this anxiety does get easier to manage.

I hope your walk along the beach helps you to find some peace. I too live near a beach and on a day when I'm filled with sadness and fear I picture the waves rolling over me and taking away that fear and sadness and leaving me feeling calmer.