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What can they do?

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EBP

Member since
September 2021

198 posts

Posted Wed February 7, 2024 12:39pmReport post

My son 28 is even more isolated now than before sentencing. He is only talking to us & agency personnel - Police,probation etc

Before sentence he was working ,doing voluntary community work,regular calls with brother & two sisters.

How can he hope to change when he is isolated from the community.

Any wise words or suggestions?

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Wed February 7, 2024 3:14pmReport post

EBP I could have written this myself as my son is in exactly the same position as yours- before sentencing he had a job he enjoyed and was beginning to form friendships at work after relocating following the knock.

He was forced to resign from his job and now is completely isolated and only has us for support.

In addition to this he has been landed with a particularly unpleasant Visor who seems hellbent on blocking any opportunity for him to move forward whilst also stating that he doesn't seem to have any friends.... how on earth is he supposed to make friends if he is blocked on every occasion???

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Wed February 7, 2024 3:59pmReport post

This sounds so familiar. My son has recently finished his probation community hours and found doing this really helped his confidence and self esteem. He has now joined an adult only gym which he goes to in an evening. He went from being married with a family to finding himself living back home with no marriage and no friends of his own age. He is now applying for jobs but still has no social life. I've had to realise that gaining the confidence to face people again is a slow process and one that can't be rushed.

EBP

Member since
September 2021

198 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 8:36amReport post

Just sent him off in the pouring rain for a train & bus,two hour journey. Travel pass not accepted on relevant bus. No way of contacting project manager if delayed.
Hard day's labour digging allotments in the rain.

I accept he needs to be seen to be punished,but they make it so difficult!

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 9:30amReport post

Oh that must feel so tough. I would worry about my son when he had to go to the site on freezing cold days but at least if it rained they would sit in the van and chat instead of getting wet. I really feel for your son having to dig allotments on days like this.

Sad_and_scared

Member since
December 2022

37 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 10:55amReport post

If he considers that he has a problem with compulsive sexual behaviour (Inc porn) and wants to recover, there's always groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous where keeping in touch with other members for mutual support is a big part.