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I’m so lost

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Zoz2024

Member since
February 2024

2 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 3:47pmReport post

I came home from work last night to the news my partner of 5 years phone has been taken by the police as they suspect indecent images.

I haven't eaten or slept just sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. I don't know what to do.

Im a teacher I'm worried about my job but I love him so much I can't leave him - my head is a mess. I don't want to leave him alone in case he does something stupid.

We have a house and a dog - there were no signs I am completely blindsided.

I don't know who to tell - I spoke to the helpline but I just cried for an hour.

I feel like my life is over

any support would be helpful,

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 3:52pmReport post

You are not alone we are all here to support and help you- the early days are horrible and the shock is awful but please make sure you look after yourself.

Feel free to message me if I can help in any way xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 3:58pmReport post

Zoz

I am so sorry you have found yourself here please try to look after yourself, its early days and your emotions will be all over the place

There are several wonderful ladies here who are teachers so will no doubt give you some much needed advice

As hard as it is keep talking to the helpline, as for telling anyone a bit of advice, once you tell people there is no taking it back, bit if you have someone you can trust then confide in,

You will get through this, but at the moment everything is a shock , you dont have to make any decisions as yet so try not to worry ,

There is lots of support and understanding here so well done for reaching out

Be kind to yourself , we are here for you xx

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

447 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 4:33pmReport post

Hello Zoz - I feel for you along with every single one of us as we all have our own versions of feeling exactly like you do. It's the worst feeling ever, like a nightmare you can't wake up from.

You don't say whether your partner has been removed and that's why you were waiting for the phone to ring but maybe by now he's come home perhaps on bail, unless you have children when he will most likely have to live somewhere else and Social Services will be in touch with you. As others have said, do try to look after yourself, be careful who you tell but also don't bottle things up as neither is good for your mental health. Being upset on the helpline is probably a common occurence so don't feel too embarrassed to ring again. Likewise, post on here as often as you like. We can't take the situation away but we can help and support you.

Hopefully one of the teacher forum members will be able to advise you about work related things once they see your post.

It's not wrong to say you love your partner. This,whatever it is, isn't the sum total of who he is and doesn't negate the things about him that you love. And remember that this whole crime of having online images comes with such a variety of ways and means of having them there, so try to keep an open mind until you know the facts. That isn't making excuses and you can hold it in tension with your anger and dismay that the offence was committed at all. Do take care xx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

771 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 4:45pmReport post

Hi Zoz, I'm so sorry to read your situation it must be so traumatising for you having only found out last evening. You probably have so many thoughts racing around in your mind because you still love him and can't believe what he's done. It's going to take time for you to process everything so if at all possible try not to think too far ahead.
You'll find the people on this forum to be kind and non judgemental so do keep reaching out to us as we're here to support you.

sn101010

Member since
January 2024

24 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 4:50pmReport post

Zoz.. as other have said please be kind to yourself in these early days.. it gets better trust xx

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 5:35pmReport post

@zoz I'm sorry you find yourself amongst us but know that you are absolutely not alone. As my user name suggests I genuinely thought everything was over. I promise it isn't. The shock of this is traumatising and we have all felt the emotions you are currently experiencing xx

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

279 posts

Posted Thu February 8, 2024 7:32pmReport post

The support in here is immeasurable please message if I can help in any way