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Good news & DBS checks

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exhaustedandconfused

Member since
June 2023

4 posts

Posted Fri February 9, 2024 2:15pmReport post

Hi everyone

After several long months of waiting, we have just had the call today that the investigation has been dropped and there is no further action.

The police officer made a slightly strange remark about "being able to see search words" on my husband's phone but that the investigation is dropped "for now". Not sure what "for now" means? Surely dropped is dropped?

Anyway, I wanted to share this news with you all because I know that there are lots of people out there waiting and hoping for a similar outcome. It's not always common, but hopefully this gives you some hope that it's possible.

As for my question - we are currently going through IVF (which, for obvious reasons, has taken a slight pause!). Before all of this, we were looking into adoption. After the arrest, that all seemed like a distant dream. But now we've had this news, is there any possibility we might be able to adopt? Will it show on an enhanced DBS?

Thanks in advance everyone. What a way to end the week.

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

274 posts

Posted Fri February 9, 2024 2:17pmReport post

Amazing news X good luck moving forward x I hope all goes well for you x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1001 posts

Posted Fri February 9, 2024 2:37pmReport post

Hi,

NFA shouldn't show on a DBS check, if he had been cautioned then it would have. I'm not fully sure on the adoption process but I think you would need to look at what checks are done before deciding.
The officers wording is strange and I'd urge you to have as many open conversations with your OH as possible if search words have been found on his device. If he has an addiction to porn or has viewed iioc then he needs to seek help or there is a chance down the line that you could both end up in this situation again xxx

sn101010

Member since
January 2024

24 posts

Posted Fri February 9, 2024 5:51pmReport post

Amazing news on NFA xx

Bluebell77

Member since
October 2020

89 posts

Posted Sat February 10, 2024 8:15amReport post

Hi,

I was going through the adoption process at the time of the knock.

If there were search terms on his phone then I would say it's highly probable adoption would not be an option now unfortunately.

SS work on level of risk and unfortunately sometimes NFA doesn't always mean that there was nothing there, more that it doesn't reach the threshold for the CPS to get a conviction.

Sorry if that's not the news you wanted to hear.

IVf is completely different though.

If you were to get pregnant likelihood would be that there would be no further issues. Possibly an initial assessment by SS, but as there was nothing found other than search terms there involvement would be minimal. Something to check with your midwife if you conceive.

Sometimes midwives will ask about any investigations of this sort, so I don't know whether you would have to disclose it with a NFA result.

Wishing you all the luck on your IVF journey. X

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

448 posts

Posted Sat February 10, 2024 9:17amReport post

Hi exhaustedandconfused - can't help with your questions but just wanted to say how cross I feel about the police's remarks. Our son's OIC is like this and my take on it is that they're pee'd off about losing their conviction and have to throw away a remark like that to feel on top of things. They can't have you feeling anything positive like relief and it just shows how petty they can be. I can understand a comment like 'just keep yur nose clean from now on' but being so ambiguous is unecessary. The 'for now' comment is another way of suggesting 'once an offender always an offender' but you know that isn't true. They should call a spade a spade and not make veiled hints that they know something you don't. Hope it doesn't cloud your relief that things are finished for you.

Edited Sat February 10, 2024 9:20am

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Sat February 10, 2024 2:08pmReport post

Hi, the booking midwife that you need to speak to when you're pregnant will ask you if you ever had social service involvement.

Since you don't have children yet you can answer no to this.

My booking midwife's next question was if we had police involvement.

I don't know if she asked this because I answered yes to ss involvement or if she would have asked this question anyway.

I would disclose as little as possible, but obviously don't lie to her.

Just want an end to it

Member since
October 2023

212 posts

Posted Sat February 10, 2024 2:22pmReport post

Just a different view on the "for now" would have made me angry, not gonna lie as I can look differently at things with an emotional attachment. But without that attachment, I wonder how many NFA they have only to arrest them again a few years later. I would take it more of a "We found words, not enough, but don't get complacent, learn from it and stop" I suppose it's their experience coming out rather than treating your person as an individual.

Re adoption, I'm sorry but they will want every detail, police records, etc. I feel devastated for you on this part.