Need help with reference letter
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I would really appreciate some assistance from anyone who has written a letter for a loved one to use in mitigation at court.
I was hesitant about even providing such a reference but on talking with my husbands solicitor I have decided to at least draft something. I just would like to see some examples if possible. So if you’re willing to put that information here on the forum, fantastic. I would be so grateful for the help. If not then I could provide you with my Mumsnet username and you could message me there.
Alternatively if you have any suggestions for the content of a reference letter specifically for a case like this (images, no distribution and full acceptance of guilt) then please reply.
Thank you x
I was hesitant about even providing such a reference but on talking with my husbands solicitor I have decided to at least draft something. I just would like to see some examples if possible. So if you’re willing to put that information here on the forum, fantastic. I would be so grateful for the help. If not then I could provide you with my Mumsnet username and you could message me there.
Alternatively if you have any suggestions for the content of a reference letter specifically for a case like this (images, no distribution and full acceptance of guilt) then please reply.
Thank you x
Hi Stitch
can you ask your solicitor for guidance on this? Our solicitor has told us he will tell me exactly what to put down.
I too will do this letter when the time comes, because despite what he has done my partner is not a bad person at all.
wishing you all the very best
Mabel x x
can you ask your solicitor for guidance on this? Our solicitor has told us he will tell me exactly what to put down.
I too will do this letter when the time comes, because despite what he has done my partner is not a bad person at all.
wishing you all the very best
Mabel x x
Yes I have some guidance from his solicitor but it’s just a bare bones thing and I want to make sure I include as much as I can but without waffling. Also my husband and I are separated so I want to make sure that if it gets read by SS it will not be considered a conflict of interest with regards to my protectiveness.
Stitch, SS will definitely read it. They will question you as a protective factor but that is what they do. Rise above them, get an advocate to help if you need it.
In regards to the letter, I can imagine it is difficult for you. Is there someone you can use as a scribe? You can just say everything and they can use what will be helpful? I'm not sure I'd the advocacy services can help.
In regards to the letter, I can imagine it is difficult for you. Is there someone you can use as a scribe? You can just say everything and they can use what will be helpful? I'm not sure I'd the advocacy services can help.
Thank you SallyBlue, I have actually written the reference now. I’m awaiting a call from the solicitor to get some feedback but he has assured me that he will not submit anything that will allow me to be seen in a non-protective light.
Keep us updated how you get on Stitch. They can sometimes take things out of context but it always depends on the person. I remember saying I wasnt telling the children their daddy was in prison as they would automatically think he was a murderer. I was told "oh so you think this isnt as bad as a murder? We will be assessing your case again". Idiots. I was furious, then I cried. Then the social worker moved to Australia, I hope she was eaten by a shark...
Hi sorry to ask but is there an update at all as i am too in a very similar situation where i have been asked for a statement and too do not want ss to think i am in any way supporting or condoning what he has done. My case with ss has however been closed already stating supervised contact. So am unsure wether or not the statement will re open the case? Does anyone have any experiemceexperiemcexperience at all of this?
I doubt the statement will reopen the case with social services but the fact it's been through court may reopen it as often social services will reassess everything after conviction (depending on your circumstances). The document for the court is a character reference so is only really about how you know them and what they are like as person. So there should be no reference to whether you condone his behaviour or not. Social services had no access to any of court documents but they were aware I had written a character reference and our intention was to remain a family. I guess it depends what the charges are and everything else as to how social services deal with you saying things like that, for us it didn't really have a negative impact but each case if different. You do not have to write a character reference, another relative or friend can do it. They help to show the court what sort of person he is and what support he has but they have only a tiny influence if any on the sentence.
Hi there, an update to my situation. I decided to write the reference and I have yet to hear from social services about anything but it has only been a few days since sentencing. I will update when I can. But I believe my reference played a part in keeping him out of prison, he got a suspended sentence. We are not attempting to remain a family and I am not intending to resume the relationship so it’s less complicated for me. I just wanted him to avoid prison so he can still be employed and we don’t lose our house.
Its a a tough decision to write a reference which I didn’t take lightly, only you can decide what’s right for your situation x
Its a a tough decision to write a reference which I didn’t take lightly, only you can decide what’s right for your situation x