Feeling…lost
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So it has been 4 days since I learned my dad was arrested. I still don't fully understand what's going on. We were lucky my sister was visiting from overseas because I think he might have done something stupid otherwise.
Now it's just a waiting game, and he's so guilty about everything worrying that this would affect me as a teacher. I worry that part of this problem is because he is retired, my sister moved away and I live hours away. Has he become bored and gotten lost with porn? He has always drunk too much so this is possibly an addictive personality? Everything is just so much and I am feeling so lost. I'm also worried about leaving him to go back to work and when my sister returns overseas.
I don't know how to help him and I'm still trying to come to terms with what he has done. I just needed to share my thoughts, muddled as they are.
Now it's just a waiting game, and he's so guilty about everything worrying that this would affect me as a teacher. I worry that part of this problem is because he is retired, my sister moved away and I live hours away. Has he become bored and gotten lost with porn? He has always drunk too much so this is possibly an addictive personality? Everything is just so much and I am feeling so lost. I'm also worried about leaving him to go back to work and when my sister returns overseas.
I don't know how to help him and I'm still trying to come to terms with what he has done. I just needed to share my thoughts, muddled as they are.
So sorry you join us here.. be kind to yourself especially in these early days.. xx
Hi Worrieddaughter
I am so sorry that you find yourself here, but you have come to the right place for support. Have you spoken to the helpline yet? They can support you and your Dad throughout this journey.
I believe that as you and your Dad don't reside at the same property that it shouldn't be a problem at all with you being a teacher . But I am sure if this isn't the case over forum members will say.
This would have been a terrible shock to you all, so you really need to take care of yourself the best you can.
Thinking of you, your Dad and your sister.
I am so sorry that you find yourself here, but you have come to the right place for support. Have you spoken to the helpline yet? They can support you and your Dad throughout this journey.
I believe that as you and your Dad don't reside at the same property that it shouldn't be a problem at all with you being a teacher . But I am sure if this isn't the case over forum members will say.
This would have been a terrible shock to you all, so you really need to take care of yourself the best you can.
Thinking of you, your Dad and your sister.
Just thought I would add, that you may find the following helpful.....
In the 'Understanding Why' section there is a post on surviving the early days written by Rainbowgirl80 . It is definitely worth a read for your wellbeing .
In the 'Understanding Why' section there is a post on surviving the early days written by Rainbowgirl80 . It is definitely worth a read for your wellbeing .
Thanks everyone. My dad and sister have used the helpline and it is on my list just still seems so unreal. Your support is appreciated.
Hi!
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. My dad was also caught watching images. I know it is hard, I just like to think that my dad is distinct from his urges. He has always been a good dad to me and we were very close. And in a way we are still close, albeit a bit differently.
Our relationship has changed, but that's also allowed. He made a mistake, a horrible one. So of course I still struggle from time to time with his offence. But my advise is to also allow the anger, sadness and everything else. I was way too stuck on keeping everything together that I lost myself in the process. I think it is important to listen to your gut feeling and act accordingly. Whatever you choose to do with your relationship is your choice and your choice only.
I send you a lot of courage and a lot of hugs. It is not easy at all. Xxx
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. My dad was also caught watching images. I know it is hard, I just like to think that my dad is distinct from his urges. He has always been a good dad to me and we were very close. And in a way we are still close, albeit a bit differently.
Our relationship has changed, but that's also allowed. He made a mistake, a horrible one. So of course I still struggle from time to time with his offence. But my advise is to also allow the anger, sadness and everything else. I was way too stuck on keeping everything together that I lost myself in the process. I think it is important to listen to your gut feeling and act accordingly. Whatever you choose to do with your relationship is your choice and your choice only.
I send you a lot of courage and a lot of hugs. It is not easy at all. Xxx