Family and Friends Forum

I totally get your anxieties and it doesn't help for someone to tell you not to do it - you have to tell yourself and listen to yourself too! I'm wired like you. It's like an itch that you just have to scratch plus gives some temporary relief from all the thoughts that swirl in our minds and all those 'what ifs'. Have you got a ring doorbell as we're going to install one pre sentencing so at least we can see who is outside the front door plus I've read that people with evil intent avoid the house if they see one of those. Hopefully having it will be a waste but better safe than sorry!

There are some reports on here of people who do have some backlash from the media which is truly awful for them, but far more reports where there was either no media reports or if there was, nothing negative happened. I hope that eventually you can report positively too to reassure others.

In time you can also apply to Google to have a name removed from online searches although I gather it's not always granted.

Probably no point in my saying that this will pass as it's all too current for you at the moment, but hang in there! Could your OH check and promise to tell you if there is anything so 'no news is good news'?

Sending a calming hug your way.

Anyone on this journey will empathise with the anxiety that is experienced at various points, it is very real and often a result of feeling powerless and a loss of control. At this point you do not have control over the media but you do have control over your actions. Think about what you can do to make the next part of this journey more manageable? Then do it x

No wonder you're in such a state after that violation - I can only say that these nasty so and so's are cowards (hence targetting you rather than a man) and probably that was her one and only outburst. I really hope that you have no need of a police marker but don't hesitate to use them if you're the slightest bit worried about anything.

I know it is hard but try and make a deal with yourself regarding checking for news. Give yourself a plan on checking, say three times a day at certain times. Then tell your mind to try and forget about it in the meantime. This sometimes is hard to do, but it gives you control over when you look and your brain time to focus on something else.

Hope this helps. X

My person was sentenced on Tuesday it was in my local a few weeks ago and this week was in his local the day after court but we've had no issues no one's said anything so far but my anxiety is high and feel paranoid so your not alone hopefully yours stays out the media

Hi,

I absolutely know how you are feeling, it's awful. My OH was sentenced on the Thursday and it was online in the local rag tyhe following Monday. Oddly I didn't see it on papers page but someone in a local neighbourhood group and reposted it. It was awful i am not goign to lie but we are 18 months on, no one has said anything awful. They just don't speak to me and I can live with that.

All I can say is we are all here, we have walked this journey and we have survived and you will



xxx

You poor thing, that's really tough, especially having had to deal with the incident outside court. I would be the same with checking the media all the time, I won't be able to stop myself when it's our turn. To me, once you have processed what has actually happened, and got over the betrayal, this is the next worst thing.
Keep strong and hang in there, this too will pass Xx

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