Family and Friends Forum

Lost at the beginning

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Worried_Daughter

Member since
February 2024

6 posts

Posted Mon February 12, 2024 9:11amReport post

So I am utterly lost at the beginning of this. Got a call a few days ago because my dad was arrested. He's back out but so remorseful and doesn't know what happened to him. I have my own concerns about his mental health since he retired and now this has happened. I am terrified that without people around him he might do something stupid to himself.



Both my sister and I just feel lost (on top of the multitude of other emotions we can't process).

Lucy from Stop it Now!

Member since
September 2018

493 posts

Posted Mon February 26, 2024 9:51amReport post

Hello,

Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.


If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now! helpline. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support and do their best to answer your questions. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.

I hope this has been helpful.

Take care,

Lucy

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

448 posts

Posted Mon February 26, 2024 3:50pmReport post

I'm sorry we seem to have missed your post and hope things are going as well as they can with your dad so that your concerns about his mental health have diminished a bit. Do you and your sister still see him? Can you persuade him to contact LFF to ask for some support from them? You might not feel quite so burdened if you knew he was getting some help. It's far too heavy a load for you to carry by yourself.

It will take a while for you to restart seeing your dad as the good father I'm sure he was, and not having things dominated by the shock his actions have caused. Things will be different but all the good things about him are still there under this new layer. Please look after yourself and keep posting on here with questions, asking for advice or if you just need a sympathetic ear or two xx

DAUGHTERLOST

Member since
October 2023

19 posts

Posted Wed February 28, 2024 10:15amReport post

Hi

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I don't have a lot of advice, as I'm also still going through it with my dad.

What helped me was indeed the distinction of him being a good dad to me and his mistakes. The one doesn't cancel out the other.

And I would also suggest to seek help, whilst it may seem like the biggest step to talk about it. It does help, and there are more people understanding then rude in my opinion.

Good luck and if you need a listening ear, i'm available.