Feeling so down
Notifications OFF
So we are only 5 months into this nightmare but I'm really struggling with the fact the ones being made to suffer the most are the kids. I wish all this didn't take so long to resolve. It's half term and we can't do the normal things with the kids that we would normally, like weekends away etc so we are all just sat home bored and fed up. We have had to cancel our dream holiday to Florida in May and after reading on here how long it's likely to last we have had to cancel our sons 10th birthday suprise for Jan 2025. I feel like a total failure because the kids are having to miss out on so much.
Bub
I feel your angst. We're also five months in and that's exactly how I'm currently feeling. Everybody making plans to do things whilst we can't. Different for us as we have adult children though. I have no advice to give you but just wanted you to know that I know how you're feeling. Big hugs x
I feel your angst. We're also five months in and that's exactly how I'm currently feeling. Everybody making plans to do things whilst we can't. Different for us as we have adult children though. I have no advice to give you but just wanted you to know that I know how you're feeling. Big hugs x
Oh Bub - I totally agree that although the abused children need our sympathy and outrage, our own children hardly get mentioned as victims in all this.
We're grandparents so the children for us are our grandkids and we supervise them seeing their dad (our son) and that's hard enough. We take them away to places so they don't totally miss out but instead of a family outing it's us two oldies trying to make sure they enjoy themselves. What strikes me is, whilst it's taking all this time (over a year now for us and still at the device checking stage) the money and time could be used by the police concentrating on blitzing the source of all the iioc that exist. Others have said that our people are low hanging fruit and easy to get convictions but the time it takes to get to that stage surely negates any benefit to police conviction statistics.
The other problem is that it takes a person braver than me to be a spokesperson for all this in the public forum although I tell myself that once our case is done and in the past perhaps I will start to write letters etc.
Sending a big hug to you and your family xx
We're grandparents so the children for us are our grandkids and we supervise them seeing their dad (our son) and that's hard enough. We take them away to places so they don't totally miss out but instead of a family outing it's us two oldies trying to make sure they enjoy themselves. What strikes me is, whilst it's taking all this time (over a year now for us and still at the device checking stage) the money and time could be used by the police concentrating on blitzing the source of all the iioc that exist. Others have said that our people are low hanging fruit and easy to get convictions but the time it takes to get to that stage surely negates any benefit to police conviction statistics.
The other problem is that it takes a person braver than me to be a spokesperson for all this in the public forum although I tell myself that once our case is done and in the past perhaps I will start to write letters etc.
Sending a big hug to you and your family xx
Bub
if your person is on Rui then they would still be able to go to Florida, my husband has been Rui since October 22 and we've been Florida. If you can still go I'd definitely go whilst you can, as once/if convicted then definitely won't be able to go then.
iv also told my husband that we shall still go Florida with or without him in the future, it's my favourite place so I'm not missing out due to him.
if your person is on Rui then they would still be able to go to Florida, my husband has been Rui since October 22 and we've been Florida. If you can still go I'd definitely go whilst you can, as once/if convicted then definitely won't be able to go then.
iv also told my husband that we shall still go Florida with or without him in the future, it's my favourite place so I'm not missing out due to him.
Thank you everyone for your replies it's so comforting to have support from people who actually know and understand how I'm feeling.
Confusedwife... My hubby is on bail he's not allowed to sleep anywhere where someone under 18 lives so that's Florida out the window for us as we had booked a villa.
I have written a long letter to the OIC to see if we can get things changed to RUI at the next bail date which is in March so we are keeping our fingers crossed for that. I sent them a safety plan etc aswel as certificates from safeguarding courses that I have done and some letters from my children. They have worry boxes and literally everything they write in those boxes are that they just want daddy home.
Confusedwife... My hubby is on bail he's not allowed to sleep anywhere where someone under 18 lives so that's Florida out the window for us as we had booked a villa.
I have written a long letter to the OIC to see if we can get things changed to RUI at the next bail date which is in March so we are keeping our fingers crossed for that. I sent them a safety plan etc aswel as certificates from safeguarding courses that I have done and some letters from my children. They have worry boxes and literally everything they write in those boxes are that they just want daddy home.
Also what makes no sense to me is that my hubby is allowed home with us everyday he just can't sleep here.
I have heard of that some peeple have been allowed to go on holiday with their family even when they are not allowed to stay in the house. It might be worth asking to see if the police will allow him to go?
I will look into that after I know what happens at the next bail meeting. Thank you.
Bub
keep your fingers crossed!! I had it in my head I was going alone with the kids as he was on bail and we thought it would be extended again... 3 weeks before our trip to Florida he was Rui and came with us.
keep your fingers crossed!! I had it in my head I was going alone with the kids as he was on bail and we thought it would be extended again... 3 weeks before our trip to Florida he was Rui and came with us.
Webb
we asked the police whilst he was on bail and they said no and we would have to take them to the courts to change it. Few weeks later he was Rui which then they couldn't stop him.
we asked the police whilst he was on bail and they said no and we would have to take them to the courts to change it. Few weeks later he was Rui which then they couldn't stop him.
Confusedwife you have given me some hope thank you. Although we have cancelled our holiday we still have the cash put by just incase we do ever get the chance to go.
Post deleted by user