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My OH has not seen our kids in over 4 months since the knock. We were in process or organising face to face contact with SW, she was drawing up a contract. Now SW has decided that she cannot allow any contact between my kids and OH and advises me not to let him see kids. I see so many stories on here about dads getting supervised contact but our SW seems dead against it. She said if I decide to go ahead with it then the kids will be put on an at risk register and I will have to do training on offenders. I feel that they keep moving the goal posts and I never know what I'm allowed to do. I've kept to what they've asked me to do so far but I think SW think I'm weak and that OH will use contact to get me back. She keeps asking why I would put my children at risk. I'm angry at OH for putting me in this position but I'm also annoyed with SW for constantly changing her mind on what I'm allowed to do.
Hello!
Since the start our son has had supervised contact with his sons, my husband and I supervise and as long as he goes somewhere else to sleep they visit us and stay for weekends and school holidays. I realise we're very fortunate as our SW is really non judgmental as well as being totally professional as it's not like this for everyone.
Just some thoughts - sounds like your SW is allowing her personal judgments to interfere with her professionalism unless your OH's case has progressed and she now knows things you don't - but your OH would be aware of that too, so as long as you're sure he's being honest with you and keeping you up to date with how his investigation is proceeding, then the SW isn't putting your children's wellbeing first. If you're right and she's thinking that you're not safe to supervise adequately can you ask someone else to supervise? You would know it's unecessary but at least it would deal with her concerns. You can also ask her to do an inhouse assessment on your protective ability (lots of suggestions on here about what you can do to prepare a safety plan) and maybe a risk assesment on your OH.
Also a child can only be on an 'at risk' register if they're also on a child protection plan so unless that's true of your children then I'm not sure what she means. There is an official process for this, it can't just happen without you knowing.
And you can complain about a social worker's behaviour officially - there are threads on here about that with details of how to do it properly. Perhaps you can start by messaging her manager asking for the reasons why things have changed from what was originally planned. I know all cases are different but the principle is the same that a SW should be putting the child's best interests first. If your children are saying they miss their dad or their behaviour has changed recently etc then make that clear.
Hopefully others who have been in a similar situation will have ideas about what you can do.
Re you doing some training, if she means through Lucy Faithfull then I fully endorse the one for family and friends of offenders. It's free and can be done online or in person. The one for offenders is good too so maybe ask your OH to look into that.
All the best for a good outcome.
Since the start our son has had supervised contact with his sons, my husband and I supervise and as long as he goes somewhere else to sleep they visit us and stay for weekends and school holidays. I realise we're very fortunate as our SW is really non judgmental as well as being totally professional as it's not like this for everyone.
Just some thoughts - sounds like your SW is allowing her personal judgments to interfere with her professionalism unless your OH's case has progressed and she now knows things you don't - but your OH would be aware of that too, so as long as you're sure he's being honest with you and keeping you up to date with how his investigation is proceeding, then the SW isn't putting your children's wellbeing first. If you're right and she's thinking that you're not safe to supervise adequately can you ask someone else to supervise? You would know it's unecessary but at least it would deal with her concerns. You can also ask her to do an inhouse assessment on your protective ability (lots of suggestions on here about what you can do to prepare a safety plan) and maybe a risk assesment on your OH.
Also a child can only be on an 'at risk' register if they're also on a child protection plan so unless that's true of your children then I'm not sure what she means. There is an official process for this, it can't just happen without you knowing.
And you can complain about a social worker's behaviour officially - there are threads on here about that with details of how to do it properly. Perhaps you can start by messaging her manager asking for the reasons why things have changed from what was originally planned. I know all cases are different but the principle is the same that a SW should be putting the child's best interests first. If your children are saying they miss their dad or their behaviour has changed recently etc then make that clear.
Hopefully others who have been in a similar situation will have ideas about what you can do.
Re you doing some training, if she means through Lucy Faithfull then I fully endorse the one for family and friends of offenders. It's free and can be done online or in person. The one for offenders is good too so maybe ask your OH to look into that.
All the best for a good outcome.
The SW told OH that if it was up to her, there would be no contact at all. She then told what I needed to do for contact to occur and I've done that and have not heard anything back from her. I think having no contact would make her life easier. I don't have a contact for her manager.
My sons children were put on child protection within a couple of weeks of his arrest. This meant that there were regular child protection meetings held and outcomes set. He has always been allowed to see them with supervised contact but the supervision had to be 3rd party supervision. Once SS were happy that my sons relationship had ended they agreed that his ex wife could provide some supervised contact if she wanted to.
It might be helpful for you to consider if the offending involved children known to him. As if it didn't, there's no good reason why he shouldn't see his children and I think you could push back quite hard.
If it did involve his children, it if there are either risk factors, there may be some complexity to this that the SW is worried about
If it did involve his children, it if there are either risk factors, there may be some complexity to this that the SW is worried about