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Contact with own children

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Lou

Member since
August 2019

10 posts

Posted Thu August 29, 2019 11:01pmReport post

My now ex-husband was first arrested for online grooming offences in 2017. We split but tried to remain friends for the sake of our daughters (8 & 3 at the time). I helped him get back on his feet and get a new job (He was a teacher) and things seemed to be going ok. Not great since I faced a lot of understandable opposition from family and friends.

He was arrested again at the start of the summer for the same crime he had been doing it for at least 6 months whilst undergoing counselling. I feel even worse this time because I had given him a second chance to be in the children's lives. I feel I can't trust him, he often lies about petty things which, when I mention to others, seem like I'm over-reacting but given he has lied to me through our whole relstionship, I really have felt doubly cheated when he lies after this second chance.

Anyway, I feel he shouldn't now have access to our daughters. I don't think he is a good role model in terms of honesty but I also feel he poses a threat, may be not to them, but to their friends. I just don't trust him with the safety of my girls. He says it's not up to me to deny him contact. So I would like to know what rights I have in order to protect the safety and well-being of my children and also of myself (which seems to matter much less to all concerned)

Any advice welcome,

Lou x

Wolfmama

Member since
January 2019

7 posts

Posted Mon September 2, 2019 9:48pmReport post

I refused and my ex is now taking me to court. He’s facing prison and I just hope the judge understands a prison is no place to take a child to visit her paedophilic father.

If you feel he isn’t a suitable influence, refuse. He can of course take you to court but he also may not win contact. You know what’s best for your children.

Good luck.

Lou

Member since
August 2019

10 posts

Posted Tue September 3, 2019 11:11amReport post

I got in touch with social services and their advice was that due to this being his second arrest, it's now not up to me to grant him access. She said i should allow indirect contact (emails, letter, phone) but not to let him see them. She said he should seek legal advice and then a judge can determine the best way to grant access, if at all. She said it is likely to be through a contact centre rather than through family supervision, which is what I initially thought would happen.