Moving away
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Hello..
Without going too much in to my personal circumstances. It's been 12 months since my partner got arrested still on going investigate could be over any day the DC informed me will take 12-18months.
I have been giving the option to move away.. fresh start.
My concernes are:
Family court outcomes? And my ex's reaction it's around a 4 hour drive.
What would u do?
Without going too much in to my personal circumstances. It's been 12 months since my partner got arrested still on going investigate could be over any day the DC informed me will take 12-18months.
I have been giving the option to move away.. fresh start.
My concernes are:
Family court outcomes? And my ex's reaction it's around a 4 hour drive.
What would u do?
Hi
we moved away before our son was sentenced. We had no real issues where we were but we became sort of paranoid about things after our son was arrested. It took us one month to arrange to move and I have to say it was the best thing all round. In our old house I couldn’t go out without everyone knowing my son had been charged which had a really bad effect on my mind. After we moved my mind settled down. Times were still hard but it was somehow a bit easier.
We never actually moved that far. We moved an hour up the road but that hour up the road changed things drastically because we knew no one there and no one knew us. Where we were before we were known by everyone.We still worry about what will happen when our son comes home but have made a choice to sit it out here whether word gets out or not. My sons offence was communication and not abuse images. He spoke with a teenage girl.
If anyone has experience of sitting it out after it all comes out I’d like to hear from them as we are still afraid of what may happen if it gets out here. X
we moved away before our son was sentenced. We had no real issues where we were but we became sort of paranoid about things after our son was arrested. It took us one month to arrange to move and I have to say it was the best thing all round. In our old house I couldn’t go out without everyone knowing my son had been charged which had a really bad effect on my mind. After we moved my mind settled down. Times were still hard but it was somehow a bit easier.
We never actually moved that far. We moved an hour up the road but that hour up the road changed things drastically because we knew no one there and no one knew us. Where we were before we were known by everyone.We still worry about what will happen when our son comes home but have made a choice to sit it out here whether word gets out or not. My sons offence was communication and not abuse images. He spoke with a teenage girl.
If anyone has experience of sitting it out after it all comes out I’d like to hear from them as we are still afraid of what may happen if it gets out here. X
I can understand the feeling if parionia. My little boy is in school and I am terrified of the other parents finding out and him having no friends. My luck his best friend is the teachers son and the teacher knows what's happened for safeguarding reasons. The teachers son didn't come to my little boys party and it's gone round my head so many times is it because of what his dad's done? His dad obvs didn't even no a thing about the party but it broke my heart he kept asking is Alfie coming soon.
I am so scared of it coming out in school. I guess it could come out even if we moved but less likely.
In the days and months after my ex's arrest if someone in the supermarket look at me I was convinced they knew. I has got less now.
I dread seeing his face in the local paper or one of my friends recognizing him and knowing the reason why we split it for some friends I made an excuse up. My close friends know.
I am swaying more to moving be nice to have a fresh start.
Anyone else moved away?
I am so scared of it coming out in school. I guess it could come out even if we moved but less likely.
In the days and months after my ex's arrest if someone in the supermarket look at me I was convinced they knew. I has got less now.
I dread seeing his face in the local paper or one of my friends recognizing him and knowing the reason why we split it for some friends I made an excuse up. My close friends know.
I am swaying more to moving be nice to have a fresh start.
Anyone else moved away?
Hi
I totally relate to and understand all you’ve said. My son (the offender) is all grown up and so is my daughter. My daughter has a toddler son and we have concerns also for him if it comes out here. He will be starting school in two years. We have even thought of leaving our daughter and grandson in this village and us moving to the next one just to try and prevent any unkindness to our grandson should it come out. We even thought of moving completely away down to England as we are in Scotland but thats such a big step . We are honestly in such a quandary about it.
In your case, I think it may be a little easier to stay put because you’ve said you and your husband have separated. It appears here in Scotland that women who stand by their husbands get branded the same as the offender which I think is so wrong. The ones who separate here seem to get treated with sympathy rather than hostility which I also understand.
We had social services out when he got convicted and they closed the case because our son does not live with our daughter and grandson. Daughter was warned though that there could not be any unsupervised contact when our son comes home. How did social services go with you? They said they won’t come back out when he’s released from prison but I honestly don’t know whether to believe that or not.
Anyone who has dealt with social services after their sons release from prison? I’d appreciate to hear what happened or whether they really do not come back out x
I totally relate to and understand all you’ve said. My son (the offender) is all grown up and so is my daughter. My daughter has a toddler son and we have concerns also for him if it comes out here. He will be starting school in two years. We have even thought of leaving our daughter and grandson in this village and us moving to the next one just to try and prevent any unkindness to our grandson should it come out. We even thought of moving completely away down to England as we are in Scotland but thats such a big step . We are honestly in such a quandary about it.
In your case, I think it may be a little easier to stay put because you’ve said you and your husband have separated. It appears here in Scotland that women who stand by their husbands get branded the same as the offender which I think is so wrong. The ones who separate here seem to get treated with sympathy rather than hostility which I also understand.
We had social services out when he got convicted and they closed the case because our son does not live with our daughter and grandson. Daughter was warned though that there could not be any unsupervised contact when our son comes home. How did social services go with you? They said they won’t come back out when he’s released from prison but I honestly don’t know whether to believe that or not.
Anyone who has dealt with social services after their sons release from prison? I’d appreciate to hear what happened or whether they really do not come back out x
Social services made one phone call to me and closed the case. They said they where happy I could safe guard my son. They adviced me contact needed to be supervised if I wanted him to have unsupervised contact they would need to risk assess dad. On one hand I couldn't believe how they closed the case so quickly and without meeting me etc.. But on the other I was happy I want a normal life for Isaac without social work involvement. (Not that there's anything wrong with social work involvement it's just not what I wanted) x
Hi Sarah
I would say hi with what you want, what you feel is best for you and your son, go with your gut!
If you decide to move and it's 4 hour trip, well you know what, your ex will just have to suck it up, this wouldn't have happened if he hadn't made the choices he did.
Do what makes it easier for you and don't worry about the rest
Lots of love xx
I would say hi with what you want, what you feel is best for you and your son, go with your gut!
If you decide to move and it's 4 hour trip, well you know what, your ex will just have to suck it up, this wouldn't have happened if he hadn't made the choices he did.
Do what makes it easier for you and don't worry about the rest
Lots of love xx
I am desperate to move but can't afford it. However I would if I could x
I took the plunge and moved away on Tuesday.
so many emotions atm. Hoping me and Isaac settle here.
so many emotions atm. Hoping me and Isaac settle here.
Hi Sarah
I hope you both settle really well, good luck xx
I hope you both settle really well, good luck xx