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Bluebell77

Member since
October 2020

89 posts

Posted Fri February 16, 2024 11:18amReport post

Hi,

I'm not sure if many of you remember me or my previous posts. It's quite a horrific story and it's only got worse since I last posted.

It's all been very stressful.

Does anyone know what the financial split of assets are such as equity in the home when you have sole custody of your children?

Ex has declined a supervised contact centre and has not seen her for 6 months.

The divorce is still ongoing and I am waiting to be housed by the council as I can't afford the mortgage by myself & the ex is refusing to pay it.

Trying to weigh up if I could afford a small mortgage instead.

Also does anyone know the amount you can have in savings before universal credit stops your benefits? Just in case I delayed purchasing a house. I would prefer to retain some money for a deposit.

I work, but part time hours. Ex also works for relevance.

Thanks in advance

Edited Fri February 16, 2024 11:49am

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1001 posts

Posted Fri February 16, 2024 11:49amReport post

Hi,

Try gov.uk website regarding financial orders when divorcing. You can also usually find law firms who will give either half an hour or hour of free advice, get your questions together before attending so you get the most of the session.

Universal credit allow you to have up to £6000 in savings before they start to reduce your claim. I believe this can be found on the dwp website xxx

Bluebell77

Member since
October 2020

89 posts

Posted Fri February 16, 2024 12:43pmReport post

Distressed.

Thank you for your insight.

Not enough to retain for a deposit then :(

I was hoping I could keep the money in savings till I'm back n my feet and up my hours with work but it's not looking likely. It will get eaten up by childcare pretty quickly :(

Thanks for your help. X

Edited Fri February 16, 2024 12:44pm

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri February 16, 2024 5:25pmReport post

Though the limit for universal credit is 6000 it is tapered after that upto 16000. However, if u have money from a sale of a property and it is for a deposit on a new place this money can be disregarded for a set amount of time. It would be wise to ring the universal credit helpline to get the full facts. Also mumsnet have a divorce forum that i find very helpful with general advise. It gives a good starting place to find out what you are entitled to, but obviously a solicitor as previously mentioned would be better for your own personal advice. X

Bluebell77

Member since
October 2020

89 posts

Posted Fri February 16, 2024 9:35pmReport post

Hi Webb.

I do have a solicitor but he can't advise on UC.

Working full time is out of the question as I'm still struggling hugely with anxiety & depression.

I initially supported my ex and had them living with me for 3 years until they broke their SHPO. They then breached it for a second time.

He's been awful, trying to force me & my LO out of the house & seems intent on punishing me for leaving him & blaming me for his offences.

I've seen a whole different side of him and it's traumatised me all over again.

Apologies, I'm just feeling rather stressed out and emotional with it all :(

Bluebell77

Member since
October 2020

89 posts

Posted Fri February 16, 2024 9:35pmReport post

Webb thank you for the updated info re UC xxxxx

Scaredmumof3

Member since
July 2023

100 posts

Posted Sat February 17, 2024 8:44pmReport post

Financial split of house does not directly relate to who has the children - it starts at 50/50. Then it is based on need.... though your need will be much much greater if you have the children full time there is no exact science. Sadly you will need a lawyer or a mediator to help you negociate that need..... which could be 100% or you could come to a deal where you give him equity back when the youngest child is 18.

you would get full child maintenance though, but that also depends on him actually having a job... my ex in the past has tried to deduct CM based on nights he has the children (2 in 14 day FFS)

I would highly recommend mediation over lawyers and some mediators have a voucher thing which is either £250 or £500 so pays for some of it, as a way on encouraging you to use them over lawyers as it is better for everyone to avoid lawyers.

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Sat February 17, 2024 10:57pmReport post

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time Bluebell. Another thing you can do is look on the website Turn2us benefit check. This asks your details and will advise any benefits you will be entitled to. Please also note the mumsnet divorce forum is a public one and you do not need to log in to access the advice.

Here is a virtual hug. Just sorry i cant be more help. X

Bluebell77

Member since
October 2020

89 posts

Posted Sun February 18, 2024 2:46pmReport post

Thank you for your replies.

Unfortunately there's been Domestic abuse in the relationship so going to a mediator is out.

Coercive control, financial abuse etc :(

I just seem to be having a run of bad luck recently & it's all got on top of me.

Ex is relishing all of this which makes it an even bigger kick in the teeth that I supported him for so long despite losing friends and family over it & the fall out from the media when everyone else didn't want to know.

Thanks for listening. I'm not normally this morose but I think sometimes you hit your limit with stress don't you.

Feeling grateful for all of your support xxx

Edited Sun February 18, 2024 4:27pm