What Ifs. Should of could of....
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It has taken me ages to write this as I really do not know how to start.
It was a complicated situation but My person got The Knock. He was so very frightened. I told him I would hold his hand every step of the way and I truly meant it. I could see the pain and I promise I neither condoned or condemned. He was arrested and released on bail, then the silence from the police. My person my beautiful person couldn't cope and with in a matter of weeks he committed suicide.
I think of him every second of the day and will until the end of my day's. I constantly ask myself what if etc etc.
I admit I was one of those people that when I read or heard about someone being arrested or in court for such behaviour, I made rash assumptions and used derogatory names.
Oh how I have learnt not to ever make assumptions about someone I know nothing about.
I have read many of your posts and it brings some comfort that I am not the only one going through this, as we all know it is not a subject you can openly speak about. I have spoken to some so called close friends and got mixed responses. But he has gone and no one you ever be that frightened by the police that they believe they only have one option left.
So I send you all a hug and I stand with you all every step of the way.
And for anyone in my person's situation. Please please please reach out. There is help and there are people who still care. Life may be difficult and yes it will be different. But there is help. I truly believe no one ever should feel fear so strongly that they take their own life.
Xxx
It was a complicated situation but My person got The Knock. He was so very frightened. I told him I would hold his hand every step of the way and I truly meant it. I could see the pain and I promise I neither condoned or condemned. He was arrested and released on bail, then the silence from the police. My person my beautiful person couldn't cope and with in a matter of weeks he committed suicide.
I think of him every second of the day and will until the end of my day's. I constantly ask myself what if etc etc.
I admit I was one of those people that when I read or heard about someone being arrested or in court for such behaviour, I made rash assumptions and used derogatory names.
Oh how I have learnt not to ever make assumptions about someone I know nothing about.
I have read many of your posts and it brings some comfort that I am not the only one going through this, as we all know it is not a subject you can openly speak about. I have spoken to some so called close friends and got mixed responses. But he has gone and no one you ever be that frightened by the police that they believe they only have one option left.
So I send you all a hug and I stand with you all every step of the way.
And for anyone in my person's situation. Please please please reach out. There is help and there are people who still care. Life may be difficult and yes it will be different. But there is help. I truly believe no one ever should feel fear so strongly that they take their own life.
Xxx
I am truly sorry for your loss. This happening to my OP was my worst nightmare and I didn't sleep properly for weeks after he told me he was going to step out in front of a lorry and the only reason he didn't was that I was there at the time.
He got all the help and support and I stayed with him and stood with him throughout.
I had never seen him like that in all of our years together it was really really frightening.
We are past the worst and his mental health has massively improved, but to this day I keep a close watch.
Thinking of you and thank you for writing this... so important.
He got all the help and support and I stayed with him and stood with him throughout.
I had never seen him like that in all of our years together it was really really frightening.
We are past the worst and his mental health has massively improved, but to this day I keep a close watch.
Thinking of you and thank you for writing this... so important.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Nothing that you could have done would have prevented this from happening. Please don't sit with what ifs, should have and could haves, they will eat away at you.
Try to get some professional therapy to help you to process your trauma.
Your friends responses are coming from their level of understanding. Like you said before you knew someone in this situation you made snap judgements too. Nobody truly understands unless they've walked this journey but perhaps once they've had time to process things they will have more empathy towards you and your situation xxx
Try to get some professional therapy to help you to process your trauma.
Your friends responses are coming from their level of understanding. Like you said before you knew someone in this situation you made snap judgements too. Nobody truly understands unless they've walked this journey but perhaps once they've had time to process things they will have more empathy towards you and your situation xxx
My thoughts are with you and always something that is our biggest fear on this awful journey, I got to the tablets before my oh at weekend he went out today with the dog and seemed to be gone an age I told myself I had to trust him and can't suffocate him and allow him to make his decision as hard as it was.
Please be kind to yourself xxx
Please be kind to yourself xxx
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.
So sorry for your loss. It's truly heartbreaking. I always have a slight panic if my person doesn't answer my texts right away in the mornings. We're living apart and I always have the fear that he may do something. Sending you heartfelt wishes x
My heart breaks for you and I'm so sad to know that your person felt they had no other choice. I'm wrapping my arms around you and sending you a hug, peace and strength.
Dorothea - How I admire your bravery in writing your story, I think we've all shed a tear reading it.
Personally I haven't coped at times, had thoughts I'd never had before and I still worry about what the future holds for my son. It's all so frightening.
im sending you another hug of love and compassion.
Personally I haven't coped at times, had thoughts I'd never had before and I still worry about what the future holds for my son. It's all so frightening.
im sending you another hug of love and compassion.
Sending you the biggest hug. I'm so sorry for your loss.
xxx
xxx
What a sad message from you Dorothea, but so selfless wanting to reach out to others who may feel as hopeless as your loved one did. Your love for him shines through and all I can do is send a big hug your way xx
I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. My thoughts and a virtual hug are with you. Xx
This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry your person felt this was their only option x
Dorothea, so very sorry for your sad loss. I think this is such a worry for most of us. You are truly brave to open up and tell us your story. Sending a comforting hug xxx
Dorothea I cried reading this as I wish your person could have just realised you were there for them all the way. I hope they have found their peace. I send you a warm hug for being so brave to put it into words xx
Dorothea
No words other than l am so truly sorry for your loss,
Thinking of you xx
No words other than l am so truly sorry for your loss,
Thinking of you xx
Dorothea
I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story, you are very brave.
Sending you my deepest condolences and a warm hug X
I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story, you are very brave.
Sending you my deepest condolences and a warm hug X
Thank you everyone for your kind words. Especially when you all have your worries for your loved ones.
Life always sends us lessons.
I know I am biased but my person was truly beautiful inside and out. I have no idea why they fell down this hole. They had never been in any trouble with the police before, just a really good person, with family, friends and a real softy for all animals. So what did the police see in him to scare him so very much. What do the police say to them when they are interviewed. I have never seen such a frightened person in m life.
Yes we know this behaviour is out of order but surely the police have some kind of training in seeing the difference between a dangerous person and a idiot (that is my current wod for my person, normally with a bit of swearing!)
Thank you all again and look after your people and yourselves.
One day I may find some peace. But I doubt it at the moment. How can I. My person told me what they wanted to do, even asked me to help them. Obviously I had other ideas of help which I thought were going well. Of course I have had the comments " oh if I had known it would not have happened". Well thanks for that! We'll you didn't know because they didn't come to you to discuss it. That is what I scream inside. I promise you I maintained contact as soon as I knew they wanted to harm themselves. No o didn't announce it to others, mainly due to the subject matter and we had an understanding that I was here 24/7. They knew I would be with them every step of the way, whatever.
Thank goodness for all of you
Sending each and everyone a hug.
Xxxx
Life always sends us lessons.
I know I am biased but my person was truly beautiful inside and out. I have no idea why they fell down this hole. They had never been in any trouble with the police before, just a really good person, with family, friends and a real softy for all animals. So what did the police see in him to scare him so very much. What do the police say to them when they are interviewed. I have never seen such a frightened person in m life.
Yes we know this behaviour is out of order but surely the police have some kind of training in seeing the difference between a dangerous person and a idiot (that is my current wod for my person, normally with a bit of swearing!)
Thank you all again and look after your people and yourselves.
One day I may find some peace. But I doubt it at the moment. How can I. My person told me what they wanted to do, even asked me to help them. Obviously I had other ideas of help which I thought were going well. Of course I have had the comments " oh if I had known it would not have happened". Well thanks for that! We'll you didn't know because they didn't come to you to discuss it. That is what I scream inside. I promise you I maintained contact as soon as I knew they wanted to harm themselves. No o didn't announce it to others, mainly due to the subject matter and we had an understanding that I was here 24/7. They knew I would be with them every step of the way, whatever.
Thank goodness for all of you
Sending each and everyone a hug.
Xxxx
Oh Dorothea, my heart goes into to you. I'm sending so much love. This is such an unnecessary tragedy. X
Sending love x
I have been thinking of you Dorothea and your terrible loss. My person doesn't live with me at present . Just after he was arrested the police told me he was as suicide risk . I live with that possibility every day . Sending you much love and thank you for your post .
Sending my condolences and lots of love and hugs to you Dorothea xxx
Thankyou for your post.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I have a son who is suicidal at the moment, he took an overdose before magistrates and we have crown ahead of us. He has been to doctors and is signed off. Unfortunately he won't do much else, he stays at home all day, won't go out. Stays in bed till afternoon and doesn't seem to want to get on with life. I can't make him do anything, he's an adult.
This is by far the hardest and most upsetting thing I've ever dealt with.
Thanks again for your post xx
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I have a son who is suicidal at the moment, he took an overdose before magistrates and we have crown ahead of us. He has been to doctors and is signed off. Unfortunately he won't do much else, he stays at home all day, won't go out. Stays in bed till afternoon and doesn't seem to want to get on with life. I can't make him do anything, he's an adult.
This is by far the hardest and most upsetting thing I've ever dealt with.
Thanks again for your post xx