Family and Friends Forum

I've been to court with my OH a few times now. Firstly the plea hearing at magistrates then the plea and trial preparation at crown court. The magistrates was ok, didn't go into detail he just plead guilty to the charges and the magistrate passed it to crown. The crown court one was worse. The judge was going on that he should expect a lengthy custodial! Yet she was reading the sentence guidelines off the screen and she hadn't read anything about him. There was no pre sentence report and she hadn't heard from our barrister about anything mitigating. Basically I felt she had personal views. She wasn't even a judge just a recorder and she did say she wouldn't be at the sentence hearing. His sentence hearing has been postponed 4 times now!. We are due to go tomorrow if it doesn't get relisted. I'll be in the courtroom for that too. I'm absolutely dreading it, sick with worry and anxiety and I've been like this in the run upto each sentence hearing for it then to be postponed, fed up of it now

My partner was IIOC only. There are typically two court hearings, the one where they make their plea, followed by sentencing. The making a plea is short and just reading the charges and confirm personal details.

At sentencing I went along and they gave some details of the worst found images, I wasn't prepared for this...he had ready plead guilty.

I didn't think it through at the time, but the media could be present. Thankfully in my partner's case no press were there

Bucket, the media reporting is my biggest fear!. If I could choose him going to prison and no media I'd choose that and that's terrible isn't it. I don't think there's any reason why when they do report it that they include the address. Why do you need to know where an offender lives? It whips up the public into a frenzy. I'm dreading hearing the details of my OH offending. I know what he's done and I know the charges ( possession of iioc all cats) but I don't know details of the images and I'm sure the prosecution will describe the worst

bucket how is your OH now? Is he post sentencing? I hope you are able to rebuild your lives and it didn't go in the papers

I went to sentencing with my son because he wanted me to be there with him. If he hadn't of wanted me there then I would have stayed away. The prosecution outlined the case which included some details of what he'd done. It was worse than I thought but we got through it and the judge seemed respectful and fair in what he said.

I didn't attend court, just couldn't put myself through that. Instead my ex was accompanied by a family member of his. A social media reporter was in court, he raced out to get a photograph for his write-up. He published that photograph but did not blur out the face of the completely innocent family member. I was, and still am, so shocked by that. Apparently, it's allowed.

I want people to be aware of this and that it does happen. Please factor this into your decision to attend. X

@Grapefruit

This is also the reason why I will never attend court if my husband is charged.

Hi wthisgoingon

My ex was images not communication and so I can't offer you any insight into whether conversations are read out. I do know from his experience though that the prosecution want the worse to be known/recorded, its their strongest case.

I really understand your need to know. I guess maybe walk into and out of the building separately? I think its the collaterol capture of others rather than photographers making a point of photographing other people away from the intended. I don't really know.

Sending you love, support and best wishes throughout this horrendous journey. X

The media is a real worry. I think it's important to remember that the majority of cases don't get into the media. My husband's plea hearing, there were 6 other men in the same court on the same day for the same charges, not one went in the media.

To mitigate against media photos my husband wore a COVID mask and a hat right down to his eyes. He contemplated wearing sunglasses as well but didn't on the day.

I attended with him and am very glad I did. I think the judge was pleased to see visible support and it also meant I was satisfied I had all correct information. It also meant I could support my husband who found the experience very stressful

To avoid the risk of me being photographed, I entered the court ten minutes after my husband who text me once he was in court to let me know if there were any media outside. I left ten minutes before him, texting him once I got back to the car to confirm media presence or not. I also had a hat and COVID mask which I would have worn had there been any photographers present.

My partner was sentenced in 2019 and got SOR for ten years, two years suspended. So the suspension ended in 2021. The first two years he saw this probation officer and did community service in that time.

Now it is just the police laison who does check ons about every six months to a year. He has monitoring software on his devices so I think that gives the police reason to not check in as often as before.

We have managed, but is very tough with the no under 16 clause. Had to disclose to my mum and stepdad and my aunt and uncle (due to cousin under 16). Thankfully there wasn't a big blow out, but was horrible to disclose. I tried to prevent it but alas jands were tied.

The main issue we have is the what if more people in my life have kids. I love with the whole 'dont say unless have to' approach.

We haven't tried going abroad yet, it plan to travel this year. Police are aware of our plans and have no issues. Tho in time it might get tricky with Europe as a new visa system is on the cards.

Overall hasn't been too bad I guess. He did find a job as they never asked for criminal background and has a job on his engineering field.

Jas been tough with his kids tho. He was arrested when they were young, the mum fought for no contact and the family courts went with this after SS concluded too detrimental to his kids wellbeing.

He has spent thousands getting various assessments to justify contact, but we don't have the money to continue. Especially as latest consensus is the kids are still too young and don't remember him much or have an interest.

My main worry is disclosong to friends and family. I'm at the point where Many my age (30s) where people are looking at having kids in the next few years.

My partner wanted the under 16 clause removed, as it doesn't reflect his offending. Apparently he could have appealed at the time but the solicitor was useless and. Y the time he knew it was far too late.

My advice would be that your person check the charges and the SOR, if anything doesn't seem right then needs to be brought up ASAP.