Family and Friends Forum

Inturmoil

So sorry its hit the media and yes it will have been reported horrifically, the keyboard warriors will be out in force, they hide behind the keyboard, they dont know you , your family but it does hurt, you have gotten through this far do not let them beat you, it will be old news soon, this is just another part of this horrendous journey BUT you will get through this , many of us have been exactly where you are so we understand the despair you are going through, focus on what is important to you dont waste your energy or time on people who do not deserve it,

You will get past this part , deep breath lovely

Hugs sent xx

You've come this far now, just hang on that little bit longer and this too will pass. The people who know you are supporting you and the rest and their opinions don't matter. Sending you so much love and strength xx

Oh love I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your family. The media really have a lot to answer for! They don't realise the pain they cause when they report on things like this and the backlash it causes. I hope you're ok love, don't read any comments, they don't know your family or the situation. They only read the sensationalised article the the media puts out. They won't know the pain your family are going through and I tell you what they wouldn't be so free and easy with their comments if they ended up in this situation!

this happened to my family media frenzie house attacked locals did a protest because of the media report was horrific for family but we had a lot of support also it does pass its horrific at the time now when any of us see people that took part outside the house or online they are the ones who can't look at us they are the ones who put down their heads it does pass I promise nothing is worth taking your life over your suffering enough stay strong it gets easier people love to comment on things they know nothing about God forbid it happens in their family one day because only then they will know exactly how we suffer through it all from the start of the journey the media is the biggest problem they have zero concern or consideration for the damage they put upon family they want the best headlines but without giving full content trust me it will pass take all the support you can get and you have good people around you who will support you

On Inturmoil how my heart goes out to you, we've been there so know how it feels. Look at it this way, you now have nothing else to hide from the people you know so those that support you are the people you need in your life.

I can reassure you that it does get easier. For a few weeks you'll be wondering what people are thinking and saying when you go out and about but this passes. My son still can't face going to certain places but the media attention he received no longer dominates his life.

You've come through the worse and can now slowly start moving forward. I'm thinking of you, your daughter and your OH and sending lots of love.

Hi Inturmoil, I hope you're doing okay. It does get easier, like with all things a bit of time and space makes easier. It's just over a year since ours was in the paper. The initial shock of the report was beyond awful but I also got lots of support and on the whole people have been understanding (we're no longer together, but we have kids so he is still a part of my life). I find it's men generally who can't understand why he did what he did. I did have PTSD and struggled to be in groups of people that I knew as I didn't know how they'd respond, I pretty much didn't socialise in bigger groups for most of last year, I'd have panic attacks just at the thought of going. But I have some amazing friends who let me rant and who've been protective. Now, I don't care so much what others think, I've been fairly open about what happened (not much choice when it's in the public domain anyway!). I do feel like it's something that'll hang over me for years and if it wasn't for the kids (similar age to your daughter) I probably would have moved away but then I wouldn't have my amazing support network. But time has been a great healer and I'm in a much better place now.

3 years post sentencing and media coverage. I took a similar stance to your daughter and go out with my head held high knowing I didn't do anything wrong. I'd had therapy from a couple of weeks after arrest and it did help me to reframe things. We haven't faced much backlash, lost a few friends and someone called him the p word in a shop but nothing on the scale of things on here.
We have spoken about moving in the future, not to escape those who know as by that point we will be over 5 years since it was in the media. It's more to give us a better quality of life, improve his mental health and give our daughter better opportunities xxx

Media?! I'm only 2 days in since the knock and trying to survive at the moment. Didn't even think about the media. Do all cases go to the media? I have so many thought about loosing jobs, do they all go to prison? How to tell my daughter? Media wasn't on my mind ????

@Dont know what to do

Not all cases hit the media. These offences are so common nowadays, that the media can't publish every story/attend every trial.

Especially when you're in a bigger city like London or Birmingham.

They have several cases like this every week in court.

For a first offence judges like giving suspended sentences or community orders, but there's no guarantee - some judges are harsh and want to make an example and send the person to prison.

I think the fact that prisons are almost full in England goes in our favour though.

Thank you for reply. Sadly not living in a big city. Just so helpless at the moment. Sitting on the sofa watching meaningless tv