Family and Friends Forum

Hello upset mum!

My thoughts are also with Dorothea. New posts upset me and I wish every new person joining inner strength to go through the early days.

My week has aged me a few years (another one of those!) 4 child protection related meetings, visits over a five day week, and a new social worker later I'm so ready for the weekend.

Ever heard of a pregnant woman diagnosed of future post natal depression, by a social worker ? Now you have. They never fail to amaze me with their ability to fabricate additional risks out of thin air.

I'm just pleased it's Friday now.

Hope everyone else is well. X

Hi from me

I took myself off to my home town for a couple of days. It was good to be anonymous & not be looking over my shoulder with the paranoia of someone knowing my son.

Totally self indulgent. My Mum's happy Lala Land after a stroke last year, seemed quite appealing. Thank goodness she will never need to know about her grandson.

Also told another sister,who was very supportive. Still don't know wether to tell other sister& two brothers. They don't really have much to do with my family,so probably not.

Friends visiting for weekend,so have to make up a story why son has moved back home. I hate the lies!



So sorry Dorothea. It is a fear that hangs over all of us. Sending a big hug.

Hope the week is as good as it can be.

Dorothea you are in my thoughts this week, sending you hugs xxx

We are a week since the media explosion today for me hasn't been the best all I have thought of is last Friday at this time, roll on Monday get the weekend away.

Sending love to you all x

Hello friday check in. You will have to excuse my typing as doing this on my phone this week. I am currently away visiting my mother in law who is unaware of the situation. So when we see her it is a little normal. She is very mentally ill and would not take the news well.

I also feel for Dorothea. My OH has been suicidal since the knock and i find it very stressful. If he goes out, which is nearly never, and late i think he has done it.

My week has not been too bad as i have been off work on leave. Meeting up (on my own) with a friend beford i go home. The friend though supportive of me does not want to see OH, so he will go and see family or the cinema. But again it is something i have to do on my own and is a reminder of this new life.

I have a stressful week coming up but i hope with the support of all of you i will get through it

Hope everyone manages a small bit of chilling this weekend. X

Hi all - I too feel such sadness when I read posts from the new ladies on the forum. I instantly remember the pain, I think the worst pain of all is the beginning of this journey. My heart goes out to Dorothea .... so so sad.....

As for me, I almost feel insensitive to say, I've had a real good week. My husband being around more, gives me less time to 'think' and I feel we have both relaxed into our new life change.

My lad is fine - happy to at last receive all the bits & pieces I've sent in for him. He is SO brave how he copes.

I send out a big weekend hug to all my dear friends on the forum.

Thank you ladies for all your kindness.

What a fabulous group you are. It is amazing to give each other support in such awful circumstances.

I was unsure to post my story but after careful consideration i thought it may help one person not to do the same. We are all good at saying we are fine when we are not.

Try and find some comfort and dare I say some fun this weekend.

Xxx

Hello Friday check in, I share everyone else's feelings in finding it so sad that new members have found themselves on this journey as I know how hard and painful it is. My heart also breaks for Dorothea. I send my love and thoughts to you all.

I've been on annual leave from work this week so managed to visit some family members and have had some time to myself.

I'm enjoying the yoga class which I recently joined. It's specifically for mental health and rehabilitation with lots of mantras and breath work which I'm finding really beneficial.

My son seems to be doing well which really helps to life my mood. On the whole we've adjusted as a family into our new way of life. Proving supervised contact for our Grandchildren by having them to stay each weekend wasn't how we imagined this stage of our lives but we've now become accustomed to having a house full of toys and busy lives and hope that the memories we are making will stay with them.

Hi Upset Mum,

We've woken up to bright sunshine and frost. Off out shopping for the day, bit of lunch and a coffee and then home to relax.

I hope you hear from your son and I hope he's well!

Happy Saturday to you and the HC xxx

Hello Friday (now Saturday) check in.

It's so awful seeing new members join so regularly. This is an awful journey I wouldn't wish on anyone.

For me, things have turned extremely unpleasant. OH and his parents have turned nasty because I can't support him after everything he's done - it's not just IIOC (the 'just' isn't said lightly) but there is so much more to it, with so many lies and so much deceipt spanning our whole 20+ years together, including things I can never ever forgive him for.

They blame me for his initial arrest because I was the one who made the phone call and they've stated that I should've withheld evidence from the police. They also think I should feel sorry for him but, while I did to begin with, as I've discovered more and more about what he's done, I just can't.

We had a brilliant life together before I found out about all this, but now I'm seeing who he really is behind his mask. He even laughs when I try to talk about what he's done. He's sworn at at me and caused me to break down, which has turned into an asthma attack needing medical help on more than one occasion. I'm getting mental health support and have amazing family and close friends I can talk to, but it's all so tough.

Our house is going on the market and we'll be divorcing but in the meantime he's still living here part-time and I have to work with him while we close our business and sort everything out there and at home - which he's mostly leaving me to do because that's what I've always done. I've asked him to help but he just makes excuses. The only thing he's concerned about is taking his belongings out of our house.

Hi

It's been a quiet but busy week as I've been back at work after the half term break.

Took my daughter to her drama group this morning and was going to go straight home but decided to wait for her and have some 'me' time. So went for a cappuccino and toasted tea cake and read my book.

I finally got around to replying to an email from my American friend that I received on 2 January. We have been writing to each other for 35 years, but I hadn't been in the right frame of mind to reply. I decided to tell her about our situation so I hope she won't be judgemental and still want to keep in touch.

My daughter has her boyfriend over and has taken over the living room. I've been banished to my bedroom as she won't let me sit downstairs. I'm waiting for him to go so I can go in the bath. His dad was supposed to pick him up at 5, but I think he must have forgotten about him.

Hello Friday( now Saturday) check in.

I have been so very sad this week to see others joining us at the beginning of this horrible journey and my heart aches for Dorothea - what a terribly tragic thing to happen and how brave she is to tell her story to others xx

Upset I hope you hear from the HC soon and Smile I'm glad to hear your son is doing okay.

I've had a difficult week as we've had family members visiting and the pressure of having to lie and pretend that everything is fine is really taking a toll on my mental health- they know nothing about what happened and we can never tell them.

Son is doing ok and has started running again which is helping him a lot- I go to yoga whenever I can and find that helps me up to a point but I'm very weepy at the moment and tired of always being the strong one.

Sorry rant over now time to pull myself together again.

Lost.

Your reasons for leaving sound very similar to mine.

I have started a major declutter and downsizing attempt in preparation for the house being sold and me (hopefully) finding somewhere else to go. It will be smaller - even possibly a flat - so stuff has to go.

Upset Mum, thank you, you're absolutely right. And also thank you for always replying to everyone's comments, it means a lot xx

Anxious Girl - I've seen some of your other posts and often think we're in similar situations. If you ever want to message me, please feel free (I don't often log in, so don't be offended if I don't reply straight away!)

We had a lovely weekend.

I cooked a nice lentil dal today, which was a hit with my toddlers.

They're very fussy at the moment, so anything that they eat is a success.

We also bought a cake to celebrate my daughters 2nd birthday.

Grandma gifted us a playhouse for the garden, so we spent today and yesterday playing in the garden.

I wish you all lots of strength for the coming week xx