I am having such a dreadful day
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I really don't know what to do with myself today, just so so sad and tearful. Met up with old friends this morning, they only know that he's been arrested and I have not let him back in the house since the knock almost 3 weeks ago. I had a nice time. Came home to a letter to him from a solicitors. I don't know where he is, so no alternative but to message him and say I wasn't going to open his s**t and I needed a forwarding address. He replied that he was currently homeless, no fixed address and he would get a PO Box. Now I am totally illogically worried that he is literally on the streets. Why should I care? Does not stop the overwhelming sadness.
Sounds like you've had a difficult weekend. I would recommend ringing the helpline now it's open again and talking through what's happened, it really helped me start to process it all. It's such a lot to take in and perfectly normal that even though you've decided to leave your person, you wouldn't be able to stop having any and all feelings for them "overnight" as it were.
It sounds like he's willing to communicate and come to practical solutions eg with the PO box so that's positive. Hopefully he has also reached out to get assistance with housing. The police definitely checked at time of arrest that my husband had somewhere to go to ensure he wouldn't be on the streets (as he wasn't allowed back to our house due to us having a young child) so hopefully they would have done the same due diligence with your person. My husband had to move every few days for the first 6 weeks until we found something longer term, so he may simply think a PO Box is more sensible if he's not going to be anywhere for any length of time.
It sounds like he's willing to communicate and come to practical solutions eg with the PO box so that's positive. Hopefully he has also reached out to get assistance with housing. The police definitely checked at time of arrest that my husband had somewhere to go to ensure he wouldn't be on the streets (as he wasn't allowed back to our house due to us having a young child) so hopefully they would have done the same due diligence with your person. My husband had to move every few days for the first 6 weeks until we found something longer term, so he may simply think a PO Box is more sensible if he's not going to be anywhere for any length of time.
Thank you Inthemoment for your reply. I am feeling better today, but I will ring the helpline when I get the courage. Yesterday I went out to ask a favour of a neighbour and another one came out to ask how I was, I coukd hardly speak before the tears came, I had to go back in the house. I know hiding indoors is not helping but feels easier.
The women on the helpline are lovely. I rang them a few hours after the knock and they were so kind and good at listening. They are definitely used to tears. I'm glad to hear you're feeling slightly better today!