Family and Friends Forum

It's been a few weeks since sentencing. I've taken time a lot of time alone to process what was said in court. Things I wish the police had told us as the shock inside the courtroom nearly took me off my feet. He made certain claims of the longevity of his offending which the police told us was outright lies he blamed my children for his interest but they said they found files from before we even met on his devices but due to the degradation of them they were not admissible in court. Only the titles of files remained the data inside corrupted. They indicated the horrific nature of what was inside. Will he ever tell the full truth? He's asked for contact via letter for our joint child. They wants the contact with him. They still see his family. We've maintained a distanced relationship. They stood in court for him wrote to the judge on his behalf. I don't know how to feel about them. We haven't spoken without the child around. God knows what he's told them? The lies he told in court. I had to bite my tongue so hard and try to remain non reactive. I struggle to comprehend why my child wants a relationship with him but again I'm non reactive outwardly I support them anyway I can. I need to understand him. Our child. His parents. Myself. I'm learning how to process less explosively I take more time before I speak. I'm not sure if that's trauma though I watch wait and feel guarded so much. Beyond my children I cannot emotionally attach to anyone. I don't go out don't socialise I avoid even shopping. I don't trust myself anymore. Nevermind anyone else. I need to understand to be able to move forwards.