Family and Friends Forum

Anyone else feeling like they're caught in a real life game of snakes and ladders? My OH came off the SOR at the weekend finally. Yesterday I was told I'm to be subjected to a formal investigation at work as I didnt disclose any of our situation to them. I work in Education.

Its currently 2am. I was in bed by 6.30 last night but have been awake since just before midnight. I'm still OK to be in work. My GP has offered to sign me off but I chose to keep going. I guess I'm thinking I need to stay strong. Its been over 3 years since the knock and we've been through so much. Seriously not sure how much more I can take ????

Thanks smile through the tears.

I had to leave the job I was in at the time of the knock because the paedophile hunters who trapped my husband whipped up such a social media frenzy, it was impossible to remain. I had called my head the day after it happened. I didn't know what to do. She was supportive til she realised I intended to stand by my marriage vows. I had involvement from County to leave that job without seeing out my notice. They were fine with me being in another school - so I assumed (wrong as it happens) that as county were aware of the situation, they knew, if that makes sense.

I know when I did my current DBS, it was pre caution/SOR and said they couldn't and wouldn't ask about members of my household so I guess I parked it there.

We have both asked liaison several times if I had to disclose anything further and they said no. I can honestly say I have never made a conscious decision to be deceptive. I felt I was following the advice and that county knew, I thought they'd have told my school.

My head found out about 6 weeks before the end of the SOR and I've been informally investigated, but its now gone formal.

I'm gutted to still be being punished/judged when my husband is, in effect, a free man.

I'm also dealing with the fact that my siblings, who are all parents (I'm not) have disowned him. Of course I get it from a safeguarding view but its so hard being caught in the middle. I cant confide in any of them now.



Feel so lost

Thanks Caggie. I had similar with the first school - hubby not on site, nothing with kids details on to be accessed at home, no colleagues to be invited home etc. Ive stuck by these rules in 2nd school. I have been given a new set to follow now. All thats different is I have to hand my phone in on way in and collect it on way out. Happy to do that and anything else asked of me

Thanks. I am in a union but they aren't interested in helping til I get to a disciplinary meeting. I literally cannot cope with any more of this. Stressed to the absolute max. Was prescribed 2 weeks sleeping tablets 10 days ago. Even they've given up on me. Scared where my own health is heading through this. I have all sorts of ailments anyway and feel completely broken

Thanks Caggie. Ive thought about it and discussed with my GP (GP brought it up as an idea). I feel I'm in such a mess but would rather keep going than do anything to further inflame the situation. I know it shouldn't, but also know it would

We have an inset day today. Ive already been given the heads up that part of it is on transferable risk - a phrase I hadn't heard til 5 weeks ago. Apparently it was always gonna be on the agenda today. Gonna be difficult sitting through something like that, that only potentially tells half the story, and remaining anonymous among my colleagues.

Hope everyone else has a great start to their week xx

Thanks Caggie