Family and Friends Forum

Well it could be a one off. But the only way to really find out, is to ask the person to give you full disclosure of the evidence. In these situations, the police will have kept a record of everything that was said.

As uncomfortable as it might be, reading the full details of the conversation(s) would probably help to clear up what actually happened.

I doubt that Sarah's law would give you all the details of the conversation.

He might not have read the evidence, because confronting what he has done is just too difficult. But the solicitor will have all the transcripts and full disclosure just means getting him to tell his solicitor to show them to you.

It's his choice at the end of the day. Often it will take them some time to really face up to what they did. Sometimes probation are the best people to deal with that, not family members. The shame of confessing to people who know you, is always going to be worse than speaking to a professional.

Hi,

Does it make a difference to decisions you're looking to make around your relationship with your relative or contact with your children?
His mother may want to believe what he's told her because it's easier to accept if it wasn't her sons fault. This kind of denial is a normal response to trauma and grief. If you look up the seven stages of grief it may be helpful for you to see the emotions that you're all going through. They can happen in any order and it's different for everyone.

In my experience it's my partner who offended so again a different perspective to yourself or his mother. I'm at the stage now where all offending is unacceptable, regardless of if it's a one off or a pattern of behaviour. It doesn't cancel out all the good things about our people and doesn't change the love we have for them even if we're angry and disgusted by what they've done.
I do agree with Edel that it can take a while for people to start to process what they've done and this is often easier with professionals than loved ones xxx

Do solicitors also hold transcripts of police interviews?

Hi,

Courts do hold transcripts

I found with my elderly inlaws they didn't understand the apps that were used or the whole Internet offence due to a generational difference In understanding the Internet.

Also my OH was giving them a warped version of events that suited their understanding.

It's not just the offender that can be in denial but those closest to him too.

We want to believe the best in those we love & that is human nature.

Unfortunately without seeing the evidence or court transcripts there's no way of knowing.

Police don't entrap people. They make it clear in the conversation that the person they are pretending to be is underage so the suspect enters willingly into a sexualised conversation.

If they were using an app that doesn't hold data such as KIK, if they've deleted prior chats no chat history will be retained and it is very difficult to get hold off, near impossible.

If it was a decoy, its likely the police tracked his IP address and retained the conversation that way from their side.

You're unlikely to get anywhere with a Sarah's law, other than told about the conviction.

There will only be a transcript if it went to Crown court. Magistrates dont have them.

Court transcripts are a different thing to the transcripts from the chat. Court transcripts will only tell you what was said in court and the full conversations will probably not be read out in court.

But police interviews are recorded on video and the solictor will have a copy of that, plus in a decoy case, the police will have screenshots or other records of all the chats and that too will have been given to the solicitor.

So its the solicitor you need to ask, not the court.

We have the same issue with my partner's mum. We tried to get agreed supervisor rights for her to be present for when my partner was seeking contact with his kids.

My partner has do e the Lucy faithful course, has admitted what he did was wrong and has been honest with his family. He had got better at explaining it and not to minimise. But his mum still buried her head. Saying things like he was stressed, blames his ex wife, that he got involved from clicking links on legit porn sites and then coming across iioc blah blah. This is despite my partner admitting he sought iiocs out and had do e so even before he was with his ex wife.

When she was interviewed with SS when they were assessing her suitability she still made such excuses. We had asked her to read the modules on Lucy faithful website but I still do t know if she has done this. Essentially this all led to her not being suitable (and I agree). But we never found a suitable supervisor for the contact centre request (the ex would not let me be put forward).

It is annoying that his mum continues to bury her head, and at the end of the day this is now her problem as she is also not allowed access to the kids. I feel like if she really wanted to see them she should have put more effort into it.

At least my partner knows what he did was wrong, and has measures in place to prevent and has support from me and other friends.

What does surprise me also, is that your ex is still sharing the opinion that what he did was no harm.... with that attitude up to sentencing I would have thought custodial. Did he do any courses at all? If so sounds like unfortunately he is the type that have lip service. It's people like him that cast doubt from the authorities that such courses are not effective...

In terms of finding out what was said, my understanding is that if he won't share the evidence and solicitors Info you are entitled to it.

I would say that even tho he was caught from one convo, doesn't mean it was a one off. My partner admitted he was online chatting and there was evidence he offended for ten years. It the police couldn't recover everything. He was caught from one convo that was reported. It pains me that it took so long, a decade at least, before he faced justice.

Hi Lady

I think everyone deals with these emotions so different, this journey is something that not one of us would even consider been on but we find ourselves here

Maybe as she is elderly she has her own logic ways of processing

I am a mum and my son is the offender, while I do not condone his offending , i had full disclosure and he has since opened up and takes full accountability for what he did

For me there was no decision to make i am there for him every step of this horrendous journey, but it's not always black or white there are other factors

The police would have recorded the interview and they would have evidence on his offending I guess hopefully one day he can be totally upfront and honest he is probably to ashamed embarrassed etc

Sending hugs x